Steelers Fans Are Drunk, Good at Dizzy Baseball

I've played dizzy baseball before, but never drunk dizzy baseball. From the looks of it, you pour beer down the hollow end of a banana wiffle bat, drink it, spin a bunch and try to hit a baseball. Puking is like 10 extra points or something. I suck at the game even without getting alcohol involved.

But these Steelers fans are much better individuals than I. Not only do they stay upright, but they make total contact with the pitch. Now, I know you're probably saying that you could do sooo much better, but imagine spinning around right now. Then imagine you're drunk on top of that. By the time I'd take my head off the bat, I'd most likely be falling into a crowd of friends rather than focusing on a small projectile.

On a side note, wiffle ball is badass.

Steelers Beer Cooler Scooters Are Too Badass

You know, I live in NYC, so getting around means lots of walking to public transportation. The subway may be your friend, but the walk to the subway sucks. To remedy this problem, someone please get me the scooter seen in this video for Malcolm Xmas.

But you don't live in NYC, do you? Well, this little bad boy seems to be going at least 2, maybe 3 MPH, so you should have no problem scootin' down the Boulevard of the Allies.

Someone bothering you at the tailgate? Just pretentiously drive away from the negative asshole. I'm telling you, this thing is a problem solver. And I don't have one yet.

Malcolm Xmas is only days away, people.

Jordan Staal's Mug

Since we're on the topic on sports and mug shots, here's underage drinker Jordan Staal's booking photo from his wild bachelor party experience in...Minnesota?

According to a Cook County Sheriff's Office news release, that office began receiving complaints of "screaming, yelling and playing loud music" around 12:30 a.m. because of the party at the Lutsen Resort and Sea Villas. Sheriff's deputies issued multiple warnings to be quiet, under threat the group of about 20 might be "removed from the property, issued citations, arrested and/or deported from the country."

Had Jordan Staal been deported, I would've lost it. That would be tooo funny, being deported for a bachelor party. That would be a bragging point.

Apparently, Jordan and his broter, Eric, were sleeping while the party was still going on. They were all kicked out around 3 A.M.

The group then began "harassing passing motorists," and were promptly arrested. Several dudes fled into the woods. Jordan Staal didn't

He was released shortly after booking. His brother Eric, the bachelor in question, was held overnight.

Never a dull moment with those crazy Canadians.

BREAKING NEWS: Jordan Staal Arrested

Shortly after I remark how slow the sports day has been, Jordan Staal goes and gets himself arrested.

Eric Staal was also arrested in a busted bachelor party. It was for Eric. They were among 14 dudes arrested for disorderly conduct and obstruction of the legal process.

Jordan, who is still 18, was cited for underage drinking.

More on this tomorrow.