Jordan Staal is a Man-Child

hes big, he can skate. he can play defense. he can easily match junior hockey goal totals from the year before, in the following season, his first in the bigs. his name is jordan staal. he rules.

jordan staal is 18. i am 22...and a half. im 4 1/2 years older than this mighty forward. (well, staal is 18 1/2 technically, so hes only 4 years older. that still doesnt make me feel any better about my life). i can do none of the things listed above that describe this freak of an nhl player. however, i can watch the hell out of these abilities and scoff at other cities because they dont have a jordan staal (or crosby or malkin or fleury etc.). the man (i use this with great hesitation because hes 18) leads the bigs in shorthanded goals, equaled his mark of 28 junior goals from the previous year, with a third-period, game-sealing backhand past the "brodeur-wall." plus, he's bested older brother eric, reigning stanley cup winner, staal, who is clearly falling behind in the goal-scoring sibling rivalry. hes a staple on the penalty-kill, and paul steigerwald and bob errey love commenting on jordan's "long stick."
im just gonna make this short, but their was a local article the other day that said # 11 was becoming the top defensive forward in the league.
if you are over 20 years of age and are reading that last line, sorry about your life.