Jerome Bettis Picks Minor League Baseball Over DWTS

Sorry for getting your hopes up over The Bus possibly starring in the upcoming edition of Dancing With The Stars.

It isn't happening. Here's the official list. Jason Taylor, for whatever reason, is the NFL-entry. Stupid NY Post...lying to my face and whatnot.

However, the one-time Miller Lite spokesman/bar and grille entrepreneur/Detroit native has shifted some of his focus towards his part in an ownership group of the Myrtle Beach Pelicans (the former Durham Bulls), a low-level minor league baseball team. The ownership group also includes Eddie "Married-to-a-Member-of-SWV" George.

Now, JB already has experience dealing with minor league baseball, as he is part of an ownership group of the Altoona Curve and the State College Spikes.

In looking at the Pelicans' Wikipedia page, it appears that a good number of current and former Atlanta Braves played for the Pelicans in the past (since the team is affiliated with Bobby Cox's major league squad). The list includes Rafael Furcal, Jeff Francoeur, Marcus Giles, Wilson Betemit and the Pirates' very own...ADD LaRoche.

The Curve, the Spikes...now the Pelicans. What's next for The Bus...the Lancaster Barnstormers? I don't think Clipper Magazine Stadium could handle it.

Its the Beard

Jose Bautista is currently rockin' the perfectly-trimmed ADD Laroche beard (Swell pic of the ADD beard here). ADD has been swinging a hot bat, recently blasting 3 homers in 2 games and raising his batting average to a more-respectable .237. I guess Jose thinks the power is in the beard.

The Buccos are up 3-2 over the Cubbies in the 7th. Shane Youman continued the impressive start to his big league career, allowing only 2 runs in 6 innings, and keeping a calm demeanour throughout the game. Jason Bay hit a 2-run shot in the 4th, his first since June 22nd.

Due to shoddy cell phone graphics, beard analysis is below.

This Past Weekend Sucked

I took a mini break from blogging this weekend, because, as the title points out, this past weekend sucked. After taking game 1 of the series with the Beer-Makers, the Buccos decided to lose on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Prince Fielder, who was pissed about getting beaned on the elbow on Saturday, hit a pair of homers and scored the winning run (captured in the above photo) to quell the Pirates' attempt at a comeback in the finale.

Other than those obvious reasons, the Steelers did nothing significant, and the Penguins are still out of the playoffs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. won an unexciting bout with Oscar De La Hoya. Roger Clemens announced he's coming back to the Yankees. I would have only paid attention to that story if Clemens and Pirates were in the same sentence. Some horse won the Kentucky Derby, and I had to go to college commencement practice. Nothing really controlled my interests this weekend, so I gave you, the reader, the bare minimum for the past few days.

The Buccos have the day off today, which is greatly needed. Pittsburgh's last two opponents, the Cubs and Brewers, both entered their series against the Bucs with 4 game win streaks (Which I mentioned here). The Pirates won the opener in both series, and proceeded to drop the final 3 games in each. Bummer, indeed.

The Bucs are 13-17, good for 4th place in the Central and 7.5 games behind Milwaukee. The series opener looked promising for the Bucs, who then decided to give away a bunch of runs in the next 3 games. Any chance at catching the Brewers in the near future flew out the window during the 10-0 drubbing in game 2. ADD Laroche did record 3 hits on Saturday (Whaaat?...) which hopefully kicks off his season (It is May, you know).

Little off topic, but if you haven't seen the movie Grandma's Boy, you should probably see it soon (Your ass is tanner than my face). Yeah, I'm a little behind the times, but that's what happens when you hold multiple jobs while trying to graduate from college...and while you attempt to run a kickass sportsblog. Its a typical crude humor movie from Happy Madison Productions, and that is really all I need when I want to laugh. What? You didn't like Grandma's Boy? You would if you had robot ears...I gotta stop now.

Bucs Win in 16, Fully Endorse Adderall

Who knew that ADD Laroche's attention span could last 16 innings? I sure as hell didn't.

Salomon Torres, who opened the season with some "lights-out stuff" but has struggled since, blew a save in the 9th again. After a well-pitched game by Zach Duke (Dude allowed a run in the 1st again and the Bucs still had a chance to win it before Torres came out), the offense added 3 runs in the 5th and 6th to help Duke out. Big Country hit a solo shot to dead center in the 6th and the game was all but won. Until the 9th.

Torres, who blew his 3rd save in the past 5 outings, hardly looked like a legitimate closer. 4 singles in the 9th, along with a throwing error by Jose Castillo (Maybe he needs the Adderall) helped the Astros back in it

After managing only 3 hits since the 8th inning, an intentional walk to Jason Bay in the bottom of the 16th loaded the pillows for ADD. With a home-opening start of 0-18 at the plate, and a game long enough for his Adderall to wear out, Laroche wasn't really expected to do much. Actually, the guy had 318 career RBIs, the most for any active player without a walk-off hit in his career. To prove everyone wrong, ADD hit a walk-off single, and the Buccos prevailed 4-3.

John Wasdin, who pitched the scoreless 15th and 16th, collected his first win of the season.

The Pirates are on a 3 game win streak, and have now opened the season with 5 straight wins against the 'Stros. During the start of the season, I mentioned how the Pirates' early season success against Houston was kinda like the Penguins' season success against the Flyers this past year. 5 straight wins against Houston will do nothing to change that. Hopefully that equals a playoff run for the Bucs (That would be crazy) this year.

7 Reasons to Keep Watching the Bucs This Season

Since the Pirates now have 7 wins on the season, I give you my 7 Reasons to Stick with the Buccos This Season:


1. Tom Gorzelanny. Wow! I never thought he would be reason number 1. The kid is on pace for 25-30 wins! How could you not get behind a young pitcher with a perfect early-season record? His ERA is a more than respectable 2.05 (Take that, Tony Armas Jr. and your 18.90 ERA), and is second on the team in strikeouts. He might (will) flare out. No pitcher in today's game will win 3 of every 4 starts, but it is nice to have that kind of success early on.

2. Ian Snell. He is reason number 2, because he leads the team with 24 strikeouts through 27 innings pitched. His strikeout per innings ratio is a little lower than Gorzo, but he can flat-out make hitters miss. In a sport where games can turn on one bad pitch, I'm relying on Ian to trust his stuff (I never like when people use that expression. Sounds kinda weird and dirty) and keep making batters whiff.

3. Brad Eldred. Yeah, the Pirates are having trouble making room for Big Country. The management seemed to forget Country when they decided to trade for ADD (.105 avg, .281 slg) Laroche this past offseason. The same thing happened last season when the Bucs brought in "hometown hero" Sean (Left fielders can throw me out at 1st) Casey. Neither 1st base pickup brought any life to the Pirates bats (I'm still hoping Laroche will heat up), and Big Country is still forced to look from the dugout. Even though Eldred is sporting a .117 average, he has only been to the plate 17 times. As the season progresses further, expect the Paul Bunyan-esque Brad to get more playing time while stepping in for guys that are tired/slumping

4. We Play in the National League Central. This argument always frustrated me, but it is the truth. While the NL Central isn't the worst division in the bigs, it isn't necessarily a powerhouse. A 7-10 record is only 4 games behind the Brewers (who have played 2 more games), the only team in the Central with a record over .500. If the Buccos can warm up against Woody Williams and the rest of the Astros staff this week, the team has a legitimate shot at reaching .500 and contending for the division lead.

5. Andrew McCutchen. He's not in the bigs yet, but a mid-to-late season call-up is not entirely out of the picture. Citing 14 years of regular season debacles, there is a high possibility that Andrew could be in a Pirates uniform before the active roster expands from 25 to 40 on September 1st. For a team that once employed Adam Hyzdu, having McCutchen on the roster would definitely be a bonus. The Buccos will still be entertaining to watch as the season rolls down even if this year turns out like the past 14, simply because we might get a chance to see Andy face some major-league pitching.

6. Adam Hyzdu is Not on the Roster. While the offense is still finding its groove and the team sits 3 games below .500, there is no reason to believe that this team can't make a meaningful run. Jason Bay is a 2-time All Star and former Rookie of the Year. Freddy Sanchez is the defending NL Batting Champ and an All Star last season. ADD Laroche put up career-bests last year with a .285 average, 30 home runs, and 90 RBIs. Jose Bautista and Ronny Paulino have the ability to be big-time performers in the future, and Chris Duffy is actually looking like a legit leadoff man who can swipe a ton of bases. The roster is good enough to get this team over .500. Let's just hope the motivation and execution are there as well.

7. Its Only April 23! The season is still young. The Pirates have played only 17 out of 162 games. There's no reason to believe (Other than the past 14 years) that the Buccos will play 7-10 ball from here on out. Alex Rodriguez hit his 14th homer in New York's 18th game overall. He tied the April Home Runs record set by Albert Pujols last year. Did Pujols keep up that pace and hit 125 homers last year? Not a chance. What I'm saying is that the season is long, and this is only April. The Bucs have a long way to go, but I'm expecting a vast improvement over the course of the season (Although I've said this for the past 14 years).

Gorzo Gets 3rd Win as Pirates Beat Dodgers 7-5

Go ahead and cheer, Pittsburgh fans. Your Pittsburgh Pirates beat the Dodgers yesterday, 7-5, in Los Angeles. No extra innings here. No walk off grannys. Just good, Pirates baseball. Chris Duffy had 3 hits, scored 3 runs and swiped a pair of bases, while ADD Laroche (I've quit calling him Adam) hit a solo shot. I hope the Pirates offense is coming around, because we can ill afford to get stuck in the Central cellar again.

Before the season started Tom Gorzelanny was the last Pirate pitcher I would've expected to start the season with 3 wins. Ian Snell, if he could find his location, would've been my 1st pick. Zach Duke, if he could keep the opposing team from scoring 8 runs in the 1st inning, would have been a close 2nd. I probably even pictured Tony Armas Jr. with a couple of wins of his own. Paul Maholm...yeah I don't think I even figured him into the equation. But it is impressive that Gorzo leads the team in wins. No other young Pirate arm even has 2 wins.

The team's record is 7-10, which is still 3.5 games behind Milwaukee. I'm just happy that the team didn't lose again.

Paul (great...) Maholm (0-2) is on tap to pitch Tuesday in Houston against Woody (maybe we will have a chance) Williams (also 0-2). Both pitchers are sportin' ERA's over 6, so maybe the Buc's offense will be able to keep the momentum and really tee it off in Houston.

One more thing. Why are the seats behind home plate at PNC called the Lexus Club? Do you have to own a Lexus to sit there? And if the "Lexus" refers to preferred, or exclusive seating, then shouldn't the general admission bleachers be renamed the 1993 Plymouth Duster Club? Just a thought...

Apologies Over, Now Back To Blogging

hey hey, the pirates won. i still get excited when the buccos win, mainly because its something i havent seen a whole lot of in my day. by taking the final game of the series with the reds, the buccos avoided being swept, and their record stands at 4-2, which leads the central with the reds. jack wilson homered (see above picture), jason bay homered, and so did big country. i said before, that brad eldred needed to make the pirates opening day roster, instead of starting the season in the minors again. big country proved me right, by homering in his first game this season, and for the first time since 2005. it was eldred's 12 career homer. i saw his 10th career home run, in a game that andy pettitte won in pittsburgh, on september 20, 2005. my buddy evan, who is from boston and looks like joe thornton, as ive pointed out in the past, hung out and talked with pettitte's dad throughout the game. we had seats right behind the astros dugout, and evan, a hardcore pats/bosox fan, kept talking with mr pettitte about boston sports, and mr pettitte kept looking at his friends like, "whos this dude?" dont know why thats important, but it was memorable...and eldred homered.

we are about 50 hours to the drop of the puck in pittsburgh's first playoff game in some time. i cant wait, and im not that worried that the game will be in ottawa. we just won there, so that shouldnt be too much of an obstacle to overcome. scott burnside of espn.com, who has written some pro-penguins pieces in the past, has picked the sens to win in 5 games. boo. he names the lack of experience and the questionable blue line as reasons for his pick. i just think he has the hots for sens coach bryan murray.

zach johnson won the masters. he outlasted tiger, who couldnt seem to hit the right shots. it is impressive, however that tiger played so poorly, yet still put himself in a position to win another green jacket. i was unimpressed by johnson, and i didnt want him to win. he seemed like a tool on the golf course, and he was making me mad by constantly taking the sunglasses off the back of his head in a deliberate fashion, and quickly putting them on his face. it kept distracting me from his putting and short game, which was unbelievable. he laid up on every par 5 the entire weekend, and used short irons to set himself up with makeable puts. pretty smart way to win the masters with the highest score in tournament history (289).

the pirates home opener is currently going on, against the struggling cards. ian "im gonna strike out 11 astros" snell is pitching against braden "im supposed to pitch in the first 5-6 innings?" looper. this will be looper's second start of his career, after spending the past years as a reliever and closer. the cards are up 1-0, and chris duffy has the only pirate hit. UPDATE: jason bay just got pittsburghs second hit, moving adam laroche, who walked, to second. with only 1 out, hopefully x-man nady or paulino will knock in a couple runs. UPDATE: nady hit into an inning-ending double play. that sucks.

more later...