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Friday, December 14, 2007

The Battle of Pola(malu)s

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In case you don't scout opposing coaching staffs, the forthcoming Steelers/Jags game pits nephew Troy Polamalu against uncle Kennedy Pola. Pola is the Runnings Backs coach for Jacksonville.

Troy is expected to play, which should hopefully force David Garrard into making some sort of mistake. Dude has been clutch in not throwing interceptions this season. Maybe Troy can remedy that.

And Troy should strengthen our run defense, what with Pola tutoring mini-beast Maurice Jones-Drew and one of the RBs I respect the most in the league...the ageless Fred Taylor.

And although I really don't want to go back to the new England game, Larry Foote was criticized for not putting more hits on former Michigan teammate Tom Brady when he had open looks. Foote was even seen embracing Brady. Weird man-love.

Troy...although he's you uncle...don't go embracing Kennedy mid-play. Remember, he might be family, but at least on Sunday, he's your adversary.

And come on...this dude doesn't even look like Troy.

Wait...hold on...wait for it...


Better.

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Former Pirates Roiders Named

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Here's a short list of former Pirates named in George Mitchell's steroids list.

Kevin Young, Denny Neagle, Ron Villone, Jose Guillen, Jason Christiansen, Tim Laker, Josias Manzanillo and Barry Bonds.

Wow.



UPDATE: Earlier in the day, Will at Deadspin offered a possible list of players mentioned (before the actual list came out). It turned out to be false, but included a few other former Pirates...like Wil Cordero and Julian Tavarez. I knew it had to be false when Wil Cordero's name was popping up in association with steroids.

However, Deadspin commenter Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah offered up a solid reasoning as to why Tavarez couldn't possibly be mentioned as well:

Julian Tavarez? I knew steroids shrunk your balls, but I didn't know they made you look like someone put out a fire on your face with a screwdriver.

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

End of UPDATE.
-



ANOTHER UPDATE: Several other former Pirates were mentioned, either in the bulk of the report or in the BALCO section. Other Pirates include:

Matt Herges, Benito Santiago, Armando Rios and Gary Matthews Jr.

Sorry for leaving you out, buds.

End of UPDATE #2.

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Mini Pony of the Day 12-13-07

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Mini ponies rule. Can't say much else.

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Which Pirate(s) Will Be Named

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With the Mitchell Report on Steroids in Baseball due to be announced today, I want to know what current Pirates will be named. And by current, I mean guys who played in Pittsburgh last season, or who will be on the roster in '08.

Everyone is waiting for A-Rod, or Pujols or any other big name star. I'm thinking rationally. Former Pirate Matt Lawton was busted for steroids (albeit after he was traded from the Buccos).

So will there be any Pirates named in the 60-80 players fingered (that sounds gross)? Jack Wilson did look like he gained 3-4 pounds of pure muscle in the past few seasons. Plus, his numbers dipped greatly after his 200-hit season.

Who will it be, who will it be?

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Mini Pony of the Day 12-12-07

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You work too hard, pony. Take some time off.

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The Arrogance Of Massholes

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I received an email from friend and fellow Steelers blogging compatriot Cotter from One For The Other Thumb. He talked about Patriots fans, and their need to gloat. Adding to the gloating, the Patriots fans continually make excuses for Spygate and Rodney Harrison's HGH use.

What the f**k is wrong with these assholes? I don't understand. Their team got caught videotaping other team's signals on the sidelines. But what, we made this up? That's not cheating? God damn frustrating man. Have you seen this exchange? -http://www.blitzburghreport.com/did-you-hear-that-anthony-smith-guaranteed-a-steelers-victory/

It's like they were waiting for us to lose so they could talk shit.

I don't get it.

After the Patriots won, Patriots fans bragged all over several Steelers blogs, including this one. I have links to several of the blogs further down in this post so you can check 'em out for yourselves.

Here's my thoughts:

The frustrating thing about Patriots fans (I refuse to use the nickname for the team, it only empowers Patriots fans) is that their recent string of success has completely blinded them. After the Celtics boom, there was little to celebrate in Boston. The Red Sox sucked, the Patriots sucked, the Bruins sucked.

Now, the Patriots success coupled with multiple Red Sox titles has overloaded the Boston ego, and they feel untouchable. Back in college, I had a real good buddy (two of 'em, actually) from Boston. They were typical Sox and Patriots fans. Evan and Bart were their names. They came from upper-class families, played lacrosse, wore pastel Polo shirts, talked traditional Masshole talk...the whole deal. Even after a hard night of partying, RAs would come to my room to separate myself and Evan for getting into Patriots/Steelers arguments. I loved the dude like a brother, but we always stressed our team's importance.

Despite all the concrete evidence I could give, Ev's argument would come down to, "3 Super Bowls...Tom Brady...Belichick...the Sox." I don't know why the Sox were thrown in there, but their success helped justify the Patriots' greatness. Now, the Sox only had one recent World Series title at the time, but that was a bragging point.

I'd counter with, "5 Super Bowls...Noll...Cowher...the laundry list of HOFers...the name Rooney...etc." Every bragging point Evan had, I'd counter with something better on our side. Hell, we were even at St. Vincent College, the Steelers' training camp, next to a dorm called Rooney Hall.

However, since the Patriots had 3 Super Bowls in the past decade, their organization was far superior. It reminds me of when me and you verbally jousted with Browns fans several weeks back. They continually used data from 60+ years ago to justify that Cleveland was superior to the Steelers. Likewise, Patriots fans use much more recent data, blindly omitting the fact that their team was an NFL afterthought prior to the 21st Century.

Which brings me to the cheating, Rodney Harrison and the idiot anonymous commenters on sites like Curtain, Doubt About It and here at PSaMP. Its like New England got a collective hardon when Anthony Smith guaranteed a win. When the Patriots won, their ego overflowed. Instead of high-fiving other Patriots fans, they felt the need to brag all over Steelers blogs. Now, I don't know about you, but even though I spent the week prior to the (second) Browns game on a Browns site defending the Steelers (here and here), I didn't go back once to gloat after we won. Gloating would've been classless. Browns fans repeatedly called us classless, as did the Patriots fans. But the Patriots fans decided to gloat. I'm dumbfounded how that math worked out.

Now, Patriots fans feel the need to stroke their ego so much, that this win over the Steelers now wiped the slate clean for all the wrongdoings from earlier in the season. Since Anthony Smith opened his mouth...and New England won...the Patriots are absolved of Spygate, or Rodney Harrison's HGH use. I asked a Patriots fan, "Would you be so smug if the Jets were caught videotaping the Patriots...then won the game?" No answer. And when I created a list of athletes/teams forfeiting games due to cheating/rules violations, the list wasn't good enough. I cited Olympic athletes and Tour de France riders stripped of championships for doping, the Black Sox, Michigan's Fab 5 having to remove their Final 4 banner for rules violations and Oklahoma football forfeiting the entire 2005 season's wins because of rules violations by the athletes and their coaches. The response...only the Black Sox were a pro team...and they willingly gave up their championship. Now, I guess cheating is different in the pros than it is in college, or in the Olympics, or the Tour de France. Cheating in the pros only gets you a draft pick docked, evidence immediately destroyed and your coach fined. And the pros are supposed to be the role models.

The Patriots knowingly cheated with the videotaping. Rodney Harrison doped, something that would've gotten him banned for life in the Olympics or Tour. Sam, from DAI said it best:

'...from the NFL rulebook:

"No video recording devices of any kind are permitted to be in use in the coaches' booth, on the field, or in the locker room during the game." They also say all video for coaching purposes must be shot from locations "enclosed on all sides with a roof overhead." How is that hard to interpret? I've never seen an entire fanbase so quick to defend something so indefensible.'

Now, he was talking about Spygate, but the last part covers Harrison, too. If the Steelers were caught cheating, or some player on the team was busted for a banned substance, I'd be the first person to chastise that team/player. New England fans would rather make excuses than explanations.

And its not just the fans. "Well done is better than well said." That Tom Brady quote was forced down our throats by the CBS crew calling the game, since Anthony Smith made that blatant guarantee. However, Tom Brady did not once come out and criticize Harrison for being fined $5k for taunting Brian Billick the week before. I guess a win erases wrongdoings...on several levels.

We've accepted the loss. There was no shifting blame. Anthony Smith made a mistake. The Patriots won. Now, Patriots fans have another rung on the ladder to run away from Spygate and Harrison's doping...at least in their minds. I don't know if they'll ever see the light.

All I know is that I'll be here to put them in their place.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Mini Pony of the Day 12-11-07

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Go Hawaii. Win the Sugar Bowl and stake your claim to a share of the National Championship.

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Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!! Kennywood Was Just Sold!!!!!!!

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Oh no. Kennywood (and Sandcastle) was just sold to Spanish-based Parques Reunidos.

I don't know what that means for the future of the best Amusement Park in the world. This news nearly made me cry. I SAID NEARLY. Get it straight, jerk.

In the meantime, enjoy my Liveblog straight from Kennywood from this past summer.

PSaMP at Kennywood:

Intro (Steel Phantom)
Still Soaking Wet
The Famous Potato Patch
The Famous Potato Patch: Part 2
New Ride
2 Words. Thunder. Bolt.
Old Fave
Wild Lights and Music
Gran Prix
Goin' Home

I rule.

I love you, Kennywood.


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This Is Why I'm Not Talking About The Pirates Right Now

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This kid...at a Pirates game...just said,

"I'm Hannah Montana."

I might rename the site Pittsburgh Steelers/Penguins and Mini Ponies.

I'm just sayin'.

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Monday, December 10, 2007

Mini Pony of the Day 12-10-07

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You've seen the original.

You've seen the obvious follow-up.

Thanks to Doug (The Man), we get to see the best version ever.

Sure, the Patriots beat the Steelers, but Tom Brady will never prevail over the small horses. Applause to Doug.

Tom Brady would pose for that picture. Dork.



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Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

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We lost. I'm over it. In trying to find the silver lining, I only came up with one positive. A win might've exhausted the team, and the excitement and energy spent could have hurt the team down the stretch. But that's just me rationalizing.

Tale of the tape: Awful defense. Underlying theme: FGs come back to bite you.

Oh, and some awesome anonymous Patriots fan decided to show up after the game spewing traditionally ignorant and irrelevant New England bullshit (I edited some of the content. For the kiddies).

Anonymous said...
Pats ruuuuullleeeeee.....Anthony who?????WHERES MY MONEY BACK?I've been to Pittsburgh and your town smells like a thousand Afghanee assholes!!! What a shitty place to live, loosers!
December 9, 2007 8:00 PM

Anonymous said...
Like it or not, both Afghanee assholes AND the city of Pittsburgh smell like shit....You can deny it all you want, but...I GUARANTEE IT!Here's a thought...Why don't you f**king p***ies do something productive instead of ranking on Patriot nation every other second. It makes me all the more satisfied when the Pats kick the living shit out of your pathetic nobody Steelers.And by the way, I took I-90 all the way out to Erie and then went to Pittsburgh the day after:All I gotta say is your entire f**king state is filled with the worst f**king smell and the shittiest f**king view I have ever seen in my entire life. Its no wonder everyone who lives there is a pathetic, depressed peice of shit who should have been killed as a fetus. Im sure your skank whore mother regrets you to this day.
December 9, 2007 11:45 PM

I thought Cleveland fans were bad. With our recent domination over the Brownies, I think New England fans are now enemy #1. Please...someone call Steelers fans classless one more time.

I'm gonna do this quick. The mistakes were so glaring that its not gonna take much to explain.

Ben. Played well. Didn't finish drives, though. 13 points should've been 21. Plus, that goal line stop hurt as well. Bruce Arians is partly to blame. Ben gets 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

RBs. Aside from Ben, they were the only other bright spot. Willie went over 100 while Najeh was looking like a WR. 3.5 out of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Bruce Arians. He is the most uncreative Offensive Coordinator. The only time he tried to do something creative was on the goal line with the WR handoff. You don't need to be creative on the goal line. Just punch it in. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Willie Colon. Wow. My first-ever 0 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Vrabel was offsides on several of the plays, but Willie looked horrible.

Secondary. I thought Troy being out wouldn't make this big of a difference. Ty Carter played well in his place the past few weeks, and Anthony Smith was starting to come into his own. However, a veteran like Troy wouldn't bite on the repeated play fakes like the younger guys did. With Troy, some of those long passes are negated, and we have a different ballgame. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Rest of D. Why did no one hit Welker when he first came off the line? You have 5 yards to beat the snot outta him. Philly and Baltimore did just that, and made the game competitive. We didn't. That, added to no pressure on Brady makes for a lethal combination. I'm hoping Mike Tomlin and Dick LeBeau were holding some of their cards in case the two teams meet again in the postseason. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets. That was awful defense.

I hope New England goes undefeated. WHAT! DID YOU JUST SAY THAT, TEC?!?!?! Yes. Go 16-0. I don't give a shit. That'll just make it so much more bitter when they lose in the playoffs. No team that passes that much will succeed in January. Everyone was writing off Green Bay earlier in the season because they had no running game. Their's is back on track. But I'm sure Maroney and Faulk can just get to normal speed in January after barely being used in September through December.

Jacksonville next week. 9-5 would suck. We better bounce back ridiculously fast.

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Sunday, December 9, 2007

Best. Prediction. Ever.

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Lotsa people have been jumping on the Steelers-to-beat-the-Cheatriots bandwagon lately. This one, I didn't expect.

If this turns out to be the final score, I'm moving to Iran. Pronto.

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Mini Pony of the Day 12-9-07

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I'm sorry for skipping out on the MPotD for yesterday. Please accept my deepest apologies.

This is Browny. Browny is from Land of the Little Horses near Gettysburg.

Go Steelers.

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Friday, December 7, 2007

Mike Tomlin Crossword

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This article provided some more Anthony Smith bulletin board material for the MSM to overreact to. He's not backing down from his guarantee, and encourages the Patriots receivers to try and target him.

However, there was an awesome tidbit that had nothing to do with Anthony Smith. It regarded Mike Tomlin. Here it is:

Doesn't sound like Smith has lost any of his confidence. He made those remarks even after Mike Tomlin -- who, despite being a head coach, still finds time to do a daily crossword puzzle -- cautioned him about the power of the spoken and written word.

Great fun fact about Iron Mike. So I give you, the reader, the Mike Tomlin Crossword. Or, PSaMP's Steelers Homer Crossword. Have fun.






/Hint: Every answer is Tomlin.

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