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SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!

Just wanted to say that again. I woke up this morning to find out that the absolute elation of a Super Bowl-winning touchdown drive in the closing seconds was no dream. Big Ben was good Big Ben in those final minutes, and Santonio came up huge, seemingly making all the tough catches look easy.

A lot of people are complaining about the lack of replay on that final Warner fumble. Sure, it could've been reviewed, but I still don't think the outcome would've changed. Since there was no replay, the aggravated fans who didn't have a team in the Super Bowl are all ripe for trying to discount our win. "Ooooh, Arizona would've gotten the ball at the 30 and Warner would complete a jump ball to Larry Fitzgerald and all would be right in the world. Screw Steelers fans. The refs give them everything!" Shut up.

Your speculation doesn't change the outcome. Fans are almost getting to the point where they want replay after every snap, it seems like. Fumble?!?!?!?!? NO, IT CAN'T BE!?!?!?! CHECK THAT SHIT AGAIN!!!! The rule on the field was a fumble, and there was nothing to show that it was a forward pass. Inconclusive evidence? Nope. If it was an incomplete pass, why wasn't Warner pleading that he was throwing the ball like he did on a similar play earlier in the game? I'd almost expect more outta Warner in that situation. But you know why he didn't? Because he knew he fumbled.

So quit over-analyzing just to piss off a bunch of happy fans. Your team didn't make it, so quit trying to bring us down with your meandering bullshit.

Now, I just spent the entire beginning of a SUPER BOWL RECAP IN WHICH MY TEAM WON discussing how obnoxious other fans can be. The Cardinals, Whis and the staff were all respectful after the game, focusing on their positives and how they can improve their team in the future. Warner wasn't running after the officials, screaming for Goodell to fine him. These idiots fans are doing the same thing Baltimore fans did after the Santonio "was-he-over-the-line" touchdown in the regular season. How about, don't surrender the lead on an 80+ yard drive in the closing seconds. The Cards, just like the Ravens, let that happen, and one non-replay doesn't change the outcome.

But now that that's outta the way, how about our team? Mike Tomlin, as improbable as it may have seemed, won a Super Bowl in his second year, easily eclipsing the time lengths set forth by legends Noll and Cowher. Ben has two rings, and must be applauded for leading a run-first team to multiple Super Bowls in which a WR wins MVP. Someone needs to throw to those wideouts, so Ben should take some sort of pride in being a part or two MVP performances in the past 3 years (4 seasons).

The run game didn't hit like we wanted, but that's a non-story if you hoist a trophy after the game. In my mind, the game was perfect in all aspects. If I was giving ratings like I do during the regular season, every facet of this team would get 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Sure, I wanted to punch Chris Kemoeatu if he false-started or held one more time, but since he just won a ring, I'll echo Big Ben and say "Who's laughing now, O-Line?"

Enough can't be said about James Harrison and the defense he leads. Much was made about all the other regular-season-award-winners bowing out of the playoffs early. Manning was MVP, Ryan was RotY, and both exited early. Brees was offensive player of the year and didn't even make the playoffs. James Harrison was the top defensive player in the league, and made the longest play, defensive OR offensive, in Super Bowl history. Backed up to his own goal line, Harrison potentially created a 14 point swing with his 100 yard INT return TD. People aren't lying when they say defense wins championships.

There's way too many people I'm forgetting, but you know the facts. There were no truly weak performances last night, and the end-result was the best we could've hoped for. Every negative from the preseason was addressed throughout these grueling past 5 months, from the O-Line, to Ben's decision-making, to the schedule and Mike Tomlin's justification.

At the end of the day, an inconclusive non-replay won't take away our record 6th Lombardi Trophy, one that was earned, not given, on a legendary, game-winning drive. Party hard and burn another couch, Pittsburgh fans.

Hope you're proud, Myron.

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Guys, we just punched our ticket to the Super Bowl with that 23-14 win. Through the long year, countless injuries and a ridiculous schedule, our Steelers kept doing work to ensure that the Hunt trophy made it to Pittsburgh.

And now the team is about to do everything in its power to respect the honor of the Hunt trophy, and represent the AFC as only the Steelers can.

Look, you know how the team did, I know how the team did...so there's gonna be no real rankings. We just won the AFC, so any negative rankings would be stupid. While there were a few bonehead plays (and calls), the end result went as well as could be expected.

Take some time to let it all sink in, 'cos this is about to be a long-ass two weeks. Hit up the comments section with anyone you wanna praise or hate on, I don't care. Santonio, Ben, Berger, Troy? Every one of 'em contributed something on a cold night in January, which will hopefully pay huge dividends on a warm night in Tampa in February.

Thanks for a fantastic season, Steelers. Do work once more!

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Every win from here on out will probably be coupled with some sort of exclamation like, "What a win!" There are no shitty wins in the playoffs, and each victory is special in its own way.

Yesterday, the Steelers made it clear that they wanted no part of another 11-10 pissfest. The 35-24 final was actually a lot closer than the story of the game. We let the same thing happen as the last time we played San Diego...an early touchdown allowed followed by defensive dominance. Since it is the playoffs, you don't think about things like allowing the opposing QB to pass for over 300 yards when we allowed one TEAM to accumulate 300 in an entire game...you just take the win however you can get it.

I hope this win doesn't inflate the egos of the fans as the early season win against the Texans did. Everyone lauded our brilliance as a complete team, something that was again evident against the Chargers on Sunday night. But it takes one iffy game, especially now in the playoffs, to destroy any delusions of grandeur.

We're finishing up with the final few MMCNYs, so let's just get to the rankings.

Sasso. The critics have been officially silenced. Ben played like he's never been concussed, or the concussion gave him some superhero abilities. As in, Ben's concussion = Spider Man's radioactive spiderbite. I haven't seen Ben's passes so crisp in...well, ever. He's put together good passing performances before, but opposing fans are always quick to point to his lower-level play come playoffs. He let Willie run the ball about 700 times before he even threw a pass, and after a weak start, finished with respectable numbers and no turnovers. Ben executed the gameplan to perfection, so he gets a perfect 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Willie. But Ben couldn't do everything that he did without Willie. 146 rush yards, 2 TDs and a 5.4 yard average. Willie looked like he was tired of all the Sproles-love from the past week, and wanted to remind the NFL that when healthy, he's one of the supreme ground talents in the game. Maybe I'm too awestruck by the win, or blinded by the fact that it's the playoffs, but I ave to open with 2 perfects. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Now do that to Baltimore!

Santonio/Hines. Showed up! You look at Santonio's line and see 2 catches and a reverse. But then you remember that his punt return TD was our only offense for almost half of the game. After the O came to life, Hines made clutch grab after clutch grab, destroying third downs like they were nothing. Together, they had less than 100 yards combined receiving and no touchdown receptions, but their combined efforts really meant something in this game. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Berger. Yeah. That was a 48 yard average. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Defense. In the weirdest stat of all time, the D let Philip Rivers pass for over 300 yards, but kept the Chargers to only 290 yards of total offense. I guess that can be classified as a push...and the house wins on a push in Pittsburgh. Sproles did what he was going to do, and padded his stats with a nice long touchdown catch and run after the game was nearly decided. I'll look at holding the Chargers O to 1 offensive play in the third quarter, and the fact that we created turnovers when I'm relating this to our game for next week. The final word is that the D, while allowing a few yards, really limited the Chargers after the initial and potentially devastating scoring drive. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Home field advantage. We'll see you in Pittsburgh again, Baltimore!

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Hope you had a good Christmas. I'll be back in a semi-normal posting schedule now that the holiday is over.

The Steelers had a decent Christmas break, too, destroying the Browns 31-0 to end the Romeo Crennel/Phil Savage era. But if you didn't hear, Ben left the game on a stretcher. Concussion...with a bye week to shake off the cobwebs.

I probably caught a little flak for the stupid MMCNY last week after the loss to the Titans. But I'm not a fairweather fan who just doesn't want to write after losses. Shit, we just won, and held our "rival" off the scoreboard, but the game was 99% pointless. Assessing this game's significance would be ridiculous.

The starters needed to be in for the offense to redeem themselves after the Tennessee game. Ben threw an early pick, but Willie looked good. Blah, blah, blah, Browns suck, blah, blah, blah, Crennel and Savage fired, blah blah, "rival," blah, blah. Did I do good enough?

Playoffs next week. We don't play until the following week, where we get the highest remaining seed (Indy or San Diego). I'm out.

And high five to Tyrone Carter.

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You wanna know how quickly I forgot about that game? Pretty much as soon as the 31-14 loss ended.

We lost. Ben played like shit.

We still have a meaningless game to end the season and a first round bye. With the quality of the teams in the lower parts of the AFC playoffs, there's little difference between the 1 seed and 2 seed. I'd have liked the 1, but I'm not gonna complain about the 2. Until the Titans' stunning loss last week to the Texans, we weren't even in that conversation. So forget about it.

Eat me if you were expecting more.

This just in, LenDale White just got fatter.

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Before I get into anything about the game itself, a big congrats is in order for the Steelers, who used the 13-9 win to clinch the 2008 AFC North Title! Everyone bowl and dance!

So now...the game. Let me re-print what I wrote last week, after another back and forth defensive struggle with the Cowboys:

At some point, I'm gonna have to stop saying "We let the other team hang around too long...it's going to bite us in the ass at some point." I really do, because these Steelers have a habit of coming through games like this relatively unscathed.

There are a lot of "fans" who immediately get down on the team if we're not up 20 points at the start of the game. Those "fans" need to shut up. Tomlin and his team know what they're doing. You can't go into Baltimore, a place we haven't won at since 2002, and expect to put up gaudy numbers against the #2 D in the league. That's why Tomlin takes the ball in the Second Half. That's why he trusts Big Ben to make the necessary plays when the game is on the line. That's why the team is 11-3 through 14 games of the "hardest schedule in 25 years." The Steelers are in a cush spot, so the fairweather fans that came along during the Super Bowl should probably stay out of any and all conversations involving the team.

There still are huge caution signs on the team (Arians, Colon, etc...), but overall, Pittsburgh finds a way to win. We close with a stunned Tennessee team and the J.V. Browns, which doesn't seem half as bad as it did two days ago, when we had no first-round bye locked up.

But enough about the future. Let's look at the game.

Sasso. Jeez...Ben threw the ball 40 times. That usually causes a few picks and a lost game, but not yesterday. Ben threw the only touchdown of the game, and his only turnover was some idiotic half-fumble-half-interception. He kept the ball away from Ed Reed, and understood that Ray Lewis was going to be coming for him no matter what, just so he could get his pound-my-chest-look-at-me antics going. There were a few balls that sorta came outta his hand weird, but they didn't come back to haunt us. And his few runs early in the game were a nice touch. Good all-around game coupled with a game-winning drive, and Sasso gets 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Nate and Hines and Santonio. The WR corps looked kinda quiet in the first half, and we all knew the first team to get a big play would likely dictate the rest of the game. That's why we needed a receiver to step up, and Hines did just that. He went over 100 while Nate made a few clutch grabs to make up for several dropped balls in the first half. Santonio didn't have the numbers, but was the only player on the field to get into the end zone. While Baltimore continued to hand off to McClain, Pittsburgh beat the Ravens D by going to the air. I don't know whether to half-praise Arians for a decent adjustment, or give credit to the guys catching the ball. Eh...this is Pittsburgh, so I won't stray from the Fire Bruce Arians theme. 4.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the trio.

D. There weren't many "numbers" to speak of, but they stayed steady and shut down the Ravens O. Farrior had 12 tackles, Timmons and Aaron Smith got to Flacco and Ryan Clark and Willie Gay both had picks. But it's nice to see the D play well while Baltimore was holding Silverback with two or three guys. We're used to seeing 13 forced fumbles, 25 sacks and 14 interceptions a game, so while the numbers were a little more subdued, the end product was exactly the same. Forget holding Baltimore under 300 yards, we almost held 'em under 200 (202). Who really wants to see this D after a first round bye in the playoffs? 4.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

I'd go on, but I've pretty much summed up the game. Plus, I gotta go to the bathroom.

Tennessee next week. 1 o'clock game. Remember those?

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I woulda got this to you a little sooner, but T.O. affected my timing with multiple, uncalled, hands-to-the-face infractions.

We won! Gatorade baths for everyone! 20-13 Steelers. But isn't that always the score? Or like, 23-10...or somewhere around there?

I'm a chronic nail-biter, but last game did me no favors in trying to stop my fixation. I have about no nails left. Actually, I think I have negative nails at this point. I owe my fingers some nails. Thanks, Cowboys-Steelers!

At some point, I'm gonna have to stop saying "We let the other team hang around too long...it's going to bite us in the ass at some point." I really do, because these Steelers have a habit of coming through games like this relatively unscathed. Yeah, the Cowboys moved the ball in the 3rd, but that was with the aid of the wind. I tried to keep my composure, knowing that any rally would have to come in the 4th, when WE had the wind. And that's why I'll start my ratings off with...

...Mike Tomlin. Man, I love how this guy constantly employs my Madden strategy, and ALWAYS defers to the Second Half when he wins the coin toss. In a place like Heinz Field, this is critical. Perhaps not so much when we're in Baltimore next week, or Tennessee the week after, but this seemingly unimportant decision looms large when you play a minimum of 8 games next to the Confluence. I can't fault Tomlin for the Cowboys making big defensive plays near the goal line...their team was on a mission (being on the outside of the playoffs will do that to some teams), and Tomlin stayed the course. He played the wind/field position game perfectly, and his playmakers stepped up to the challenge. The Steelers DID miss near the goal line, so I can't give Tomlin a perfect score, so we'll go with 4.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Sasso. His game was all-around meh, but Ben understood the urgency of the situation in the 4th, and brought his team back in it like he has many times before. Another near 50% completion game, with one passing TD to go with a lost fumble and 204 passing yards. No interceptions in the wind, so there's that. And that 40+ yarder to Santonio was perfect, even though it was into the wind. Ben didn't lose the game for us, which can't be said about Romo. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Ben. That First Half was tough to watch.

D. We got outworked by Dallas on many occasions. Their O clicked in the 3rd (partly due to the wind), and Tashard Choice displayed his talents against the top ranked defense. But the D didn't cave when Dallas was moving, and refused to be completely outplayed by the 'Boys. Silverback looked tired by the end of the game, but still got his usual sack and forced fumble. It's pretty cool when I'm pretty indifferent about 9 tackles, a sack and a forced fumble. Overall, the unit had 3 sacks to go with 3 picks and 5 total turnovers. Dallas' last play on 4th Down was huge, as they had 289 total team yards, and a conversion would've likely ended the streak of not allowing a 300 yard game this season. Big stop to keep the win and streak alive. They'll mirror Tomlin here, and get 4.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Deshea. He gets his own spot today because he quietly does his job with little problem and is always solid on the field. He rung up 3 tackles, but its nice to see a 65 year old vet like Deshea factor into the winning points. Romo served him up an easy pick, and he outraced a hobbled Jason Witten to the end zone. Deshea, you get a perfect 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the icing on the cake.

Mitch Berger. Negative 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. I may owe myself some fingernails, but you owe me a bunch of motorcycle helmet ratings.

In Baltimore next week. The Ravens D is looking just as good as ours. Glad we got a 1-game lead going into this.

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NFL Network sucks.

I've been sick this week, so I wasn't about to head to a bar and kill my immune system even more. So I got stuck with like 6 awful live feeds on my computer. One had no sound, one would only show the NFL Network analysts, one was just a video camera aimed at a shitty t.v. and one had a decent stream that would freeze every now and then.

But the Steelers won, 27-10, so all is well!

The game almost mirrored the first meeting, whereas we dominated Cincy, only to have them within a score of taking the lead in the second half. However, we did what we needed to do, and escaped the cold relatively healthy with a record of 8-3.

So let's see how it all went down.

Sasso. 17 of 30 for 243 and 2 touchdowns (one passing, one rushing). Solid numbers, which look so much better with no turnovers. Yet Sasso had at least 3 errant passes that hit Cincy defenders right in the hands. I don't know if it was a solid win, or a lucky outcome, because any one of those dropped picks could've changed the game. Yeah, Sasso had a good game, but you think I'm gonna go easy on him and pretend everything is cool? We'll say 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets, only because anything in the threes would be too low, and hi feet got a few critical 1st downs. Keep making smart decisions, man.

WRs. Not a bad game all around. The ball was distributed nicely (Receptions: Santonio - 5, Miller - 4, Moore - 4, Sweed - 2, Ward - 1), and even though they weren't all to WRs, Heath and Mewelde showed some hands. Plus, a huge 40+ yard reception by Hines was negated by a Nate Washington penalty. This was Santonio's third or fourth okay game, where he came in somewhere between 80-100 yards. I'm still waiting for that 120 yard, 1 TD game from him, but I'll take 84 in a win. I'll be repetitive and give another 4 of 5 helmets.

D. There was some good and some bad from the D last night. Willie Gay obviously smoked some of James Harrison's meth last night, as dude was playing out of his skull. Troy had another pick and subsequent laugh-out-loud return. Woodley got another sack, and we held the Bengals to 208 yards of total offense. But where was Silverback and the vaunted pass rush? Woodley's sack was the only one of the night, against a shitty line with like 30 rookies on it. I'm starting to believe in this "Steelers get held on every play" argument. There were a few times when I was about to throw Easy Mac at the computer, because Harrison was completely flattened and taken down to the ground. No call. If the officiating was more consistent, the guys would get a perfect 5 of 5 helmets, but with only one sack, I'll give 'em 4 of 5. Fine me, Goodell.

Jeff Reed. Kicking a 38 yarder in the snow is no joke. Both of his FGs were true as hell. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Ernster. 0 of 5 helmets.

Massive break until we travel to Foxboro to take on the Patriots NEXT Sunday. Rest up, guys.

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It's getting tougher and tougher trying to put these games into words. We either play so bad that its impossible to write anything substantial, or we put together the most polarizing offense so that it mystifies the mind.

11-10 Steelers. Yeah, that about sums it up.

It was another day at the office for the league's top defense, but the O is what should've blown everyone's minds. We had a QB go for over 300 with no picks, a century WR and RB, but no touchdowns. I didn't even think that was possible before yesterday.

During that final, game-winning drive, I had to keep reminding myself that we were STILL LOSING! Ben was looking better than he had in weeks, the team was destroying San Diego in all meaningful categories, and somehow we weren't up in the scoreboard. Story of the season so far.

Were the numbers warranted, or did we get lucky on that final drive? How confident can you be in a team that is losing with less than a minute left in the game, but has the other team lapped in all stats. Or do we look at the comeback win as inspiration? Beats me.

Sasso the Giant. I was biting my fingernails when I saw that Sasso already had 25 pass attempts sometime in the third quarter. I knew he was on pace for the 40-some that he ended up throwing, which is enough to make any Steelers fan nervous. But Ben made some clutch, high percentage throws, which was reflected in his zero interceptions and 75% passing efficiency. 300+ yards is great, but he set up no offensive touchdowns, and basically let the D win the game. I can't shit on his game too much seeing that we won, but that doesn't mean I'm not perplexed. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Sasso.

Willie. Glad to have you back. Late in the game, I was pleased to see Arians giving the ball to Willie. Again. And again. One of the reasons we struggled offensively the first half of the years was because Willie wasn't on the field, which removes an entire dynamic from this offense. Still, he comes back and puts up nice numbers, but the offense still isn't in a rhythm. Hopefully, we remember how to put together complete drives now that Willie's back, and the offensive woes die off. 4.5 of 5 helmets. He's the only one that sniffed the endzone.

Hines. If the theme of this win was "PERPLEXING," then Hines embodies this entirely. Cool 125 receiving yards, but how many penalties did the guy have to take? Two rough holding calls and something else (can't remember what that third penalty was...somebody help me out) really starts to overshadow the yards. However, Hines stepped up after that third penalty, single-handedly making up all the yards lost on his way to making the first down. That's grit. But the penalties could've killed us. 3.5 of 5 helmets. I know you'll make up for it, Hines.

D. Aside from that early touchdown, I never believed the Chargers were going to score when they made it into Steelers territory. Like, the entire game. That's how well the D was playing. Pass rusher Woodley made a terrific play batting down a pass in coverage, Ike made a few, and Keisel got to the QB. And Silverback? He needs to be in Defensive Player of the Year discussions. Right away. A sack, safety AND interception. There's really no one that can stop him. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the D. And that's before I even mentioned Troy's amazing pick.

Jeff Reed. Sucks that the perfect season that Cotter and I predicted is gone, but he's killer late in the game. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Bengals like, tomorrow or something. Do we even get a rest?

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Ben immediately injured his shoulder after raising his finger to the sky.

24-20, Colts.

Seriously, what was that? We started that game on a tear, and proceeded to stink away the win. My words can't adequately summarize the suck, so we'll have to turn to the ratings.

Bruce Arians. I really want to give a higher number today. The game started off awesome, and it looked like Ben and Bruce put their dunce caps together to make a legit game plan. Ben was throwing in a quick rhythm, Arians committed to the run and there was some QB movement (play action, pump fakes, flea flicker, etc.). But just when it looked like Bruce was turning the corner, he decided to stay with the exact same plays. Look, we understand the quick throws were working early, because we've been trying to get that into the playbook for weeks now! But you can't run the same "Ben-takes-the-snap-and-immediately-pump-fakes-then-does-a-delayed-handoff-to-Mewelde-Moore-up-the-middle" play 65 more times. Indy's defense isn't as stout as Pittsburgh's but they'll recognize that shit eventually. First half, 3.75 of 5 helmets, Second half, 2 of 5. We'll give Bruce 2.99 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Ben. You can't promise to play better, then come out and throw 3 picks. Simple as that. I know you think this is the time of year that you "thrive," but injuries and stupid decisions don't take a back seat to history. The receivers are to blame for several of the drops and INTs, but you shouldn't have even been in the game. We have a strong-armed QB on the sideline, and a guy with no shoulder completing 3 yard passes on a potential game winning drive. The time management was atrocious on those last 4-5 plays, and Ben barely had the arm strength to throw the final Hail Mary. I'm surprised the snap even beat the clock. I said I wanted you to sit this week. I said that, because even if we lost with Byron, that means you weren't getting hit or throwing confidence-crushing picks. Now you have to live with all of that...and still accept the loss. Like it or not, this changes the rest of the season. 2.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Mewelde. Started off great, with the 2 touchdowns and 30 quick yards. But finished with only 57 yards and couldn't reach the endzone for that 3rd touchdown that would've put the Steelers up 7 rather than 3. We took the 4 point loss rather than an overtime chance at a win. That's one of the toughest things to swallow about the game. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. I'm all about fractions of a helmet after the losses.

D. I think they need to sit down with Ben and Bruce. Soon. They gave up the most yards to any opponent this year and still put the O in a position to win the game. Repeatedly. We can force the opposition to punt series after series, but all that hard work goes for nothing if Ben comes back with a critical pick. Ike played out of his skull aside from those two tips to Wayne, but I can't overlook the tips. Deshea showed him how it was done later in the game...tip the ball away from the receiver or down to the ground. 4 of 5 helmets despite the tips. If those don't fall into Wayne's hands, we've got a different ballgame.

Chargers next week. They're a team that seems to win and lose really close games, so it's tough to determine if they're a good team that can't close or a bad team that won a few lucky games.

That doesn't bode well for this Steelers team.

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One of my biggest complaints about the Steelers is that we rarely finish teams off. Well...aside from Ben not rolling out of the pocket...and the O Line sucking...and Ben holding onto the ball too long...and...well, you get the point. Despite playing a better game than teams like last week's Giants, the Steelers allow the opposition to have a chance to get right back in it.

Not this week. 23 - 6 Steelers.

The defense more than accounted for an inadequate (and injured) Roethlisberger, and played the all-around game that we were hoping for last week. James Harrison, regularly playing on straight meth, must've given some to James Farrior, because dude was out of his mind.

And how good was it to have a guy like Willie Parker back?

Bah...don't let me spoil anything here. Wait for the rankings.

Ben. Outplayed by a 2-INT Campbell and Jacksonville and Atlanta castoff Byron Leftwich. Thanks for the sneak, but at what cost. Injuries suck, especially with the imminent schedule. Give it to your guys that are expecting to get hit. 2.75 of 5 helmets. 2.5 seemed too low, and I couldn't justify a 3.

Byron. Well that was refreshing. How, with the same O Line and Byron's 8 minute windup, did Leftwich appear to have more time to throw? Hell, big boy even rolled out a few times! Byron was an efficient asshole last night, only missing on 3 of 10 tosses with a TD somewhere in there.One helmet for every two seconds of that absurd windup. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Willie. As I said earlier, how nice was it to have him back? Notice how the offensive struggles happened in the 4 games that Parker missed. Having a guy like him on the field at all times really opens up the offense in ways we tried to dismiss. Big Ben needs Willie on the field more than he knows. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Willie for coming back from injury, outplaying Clinton Portis and reaching the endzone.

D. Who to laud? Farrior, for being a part of EVERY FREAKIN' PLAY? Wooderson, for a combined 4 sacks? Lawrence Timmons, ready to establish himself as an All-Pro (yeah, I said it)? Troy, playing for his newborn and knifing in to disrupt play after play? Deshea or T Carter's picks? That was just an amazing all-around performance. And don't think I didn't see your punt block, Andre Frazier. You get love, too. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. The 'Skins did nothing after the two gimme FGs early.

Jeff Reed. Yeah, you're still 100% on the year for FGs, but don't think I won't rip you a new one for the missed extra point. That's just weak. 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Berger. How are we trotting this guy out there? How have we not had a backup plan? 25 yard punts won't cut it. Not even taking the time to give an appropriate ranking.

Indy next week, kids. They're aren't the same team from years past, but they're still capable of giving it to us. See you then.

AND GO VOTE!

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Despite the 38-10 win, I don't know if I agree with the use of the phrase "Steelers easily defeat Bengals." We were up 3 at half and the Bengals were within one score through 3 quarters. Without that 21-point 4th, we're looking at a headline along the lines of, "Steelers avoid letdown against Bengals."

Honestly, this bullshit is gonna catch up with us soon. We can't let inferior teams hang around with us even though we have the game dominated. The Bengals opened the game with 5 straight 3-and-outs. There's no reason that they should be within one score going into the final frame.

But on the bright side, the final frame happened. On paper, we have a 4-TD win going into a matchup with the Giants, who struggled with San Fran early. And really, if Byron Leftwich is in the game late, we're either way in front or way behind. And we were never behind yesterday.

So let's take a peek, shall we?

Ben. You know it's a good game when en doesn't really confuse you with his decisions. Sure, he tried to force a few throws, and his completion percentage wasn't pristine, but he took control of the middle of the field as well as the sidelines, and he went deep when it was given to him. However, defenses are going to catch on to the screens and passes to Mewelde in the flats real quick if you keep that up. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Mewelde. Jeez, at the beginning of the year, I didn't think Mewelde Moore would be analyzed so much in this spot. And most of it has been positive! How 'bout that? He didn't crack the century mark last game, something I was hoping he'd do, but he more than made up for it this week. What did he put up, like a buck twenty with 2 rushing scores and a TD catch? Who needs Willie Parker? 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets!

WRs. I couldn't break these guys up. Nate (more on him coming later today), continues to impress with his newfound hands, Hines made some tough catches, Limas Sweed finally started representing for the '08 draft class, and Santonio had a monster game despite being held under 100 yards. This was the first game this year that I actually felt comfortable with the Ben-to-Santonio element. With the running game clicking, the WR corps took advantage of the weaker secondary. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Wooderson. I'm gonna look like a biased jerk with the good grades this week, but that's what you get with a 28 point win. Wooderson didn't miss a step during the bye, either. Both had 2 sacks (giving Wooderson a 4-sack-game), and Woodley forced and recovered the same fumble. Silverbback woulda had another sack, if not for a holding call on the Bengals O-Line. I'm at the point where I'm expecting multiple sacks by each guy every game. That's gonna suck when I'm disappointed by a 1.5 sack game outta Wooderson. 4.5 outta 5 helmets.

Farrior/Timmons. There were playing like they were the same age. Timmons looked like a vet, and Farrior was playing like a kid trying to impress. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

It sucks when you live in NYC, and the team you love is about to play the Giants. Blue everywhere. Time to keep the momentum, Pittsburgh!

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

"The offense was terrible in the first half."

I'm probably paraphrasing a bit, but I believe Ben said something along these lines in his post-game interview. You won't hear any objection from me, Ben.

23-20. OT. Win.

I'm really just biding my time until I can rip Bruce Arians a new one in my ratings. The team sucked hard, but luckily showed that they could make the appropriate adjustments to make the game competitive. As I said in the pregame show...pressure Flacco and good things will happen. Silverback and Woodley listened, and a defensive touchdown changed the attitude in the stadium.

So yeah, now we need to deal with several season-ending injuries, but those aren't excuses for losing. Its time to show who we are in this league and step up despite the adversity. But that's for another time. On to last night's ratings...don't expect blindly high ratings just because we won. There was a lot of suck:

Ben. A tale of two Bens? Who was that dude in the first half? His expressions and demeanor were not conducive to a competitive nature, and it looked like he was frustrated and confused...two things you don't want to see in your franchise quarterback. I hope Mike Tomlin punched Ben in the face at halftime, because Ben deserved that for the shitty play and defeatist attitude. However, he adopted the no-huddle and quick two/three step drops that we've been asking for this whole year so far. And guess what...IT WORKED! I know that INT slipped outta your hands, but that's another side effect of holding the ball too long, man. 3.5 of 5 helmets.

Bruce Arians. I'm gonna be painfully honest here. Any time I see Ben talking to Arians on the sideline, I immediately say, "Ben, do the complete opposite of what Bruce is saying right now." I don't understand his offense one bit and why he makes 95% of the decisions that he does. Why he was riding Carey Davis up the middle when a fresh Mewelde Moore was on the bench is beyond me. Just because he's a third-down back, it doesn't mean he can't play on first or second. Look at how well it paid off at the end of the game! I think Tomlin's been getting too much flak for the ineptitude of the play-caller. 1 of 5 helmets. Getting down early like that will bite us more often than not, dude.

Rashard. Don't wanna add insult to injury, but I was hoping for more. He showed flashes, but was stuffed on too many runs. It was something that he'd be able to work on if he wasn't injured now, but that isn't the case. Sucks that he'll basically be a rookie next year, too. 2.5 of 5 helmets.

Moore. See? Yeah, I'm the biggest Carey Davis supporter that you'll see, but Mewelde Moore is a much better option running the ball and catching out of the backfield. He came up with several huge plays late and put us in a position to win. Can't ask for much more from a guy who hasn't really been used this year. Look for Mewelde to get more touches with Willie hurt up and Beetlejuice gone. 4 of 5 helmets. Big time.

LBs. Dirty. Cotter predicted 1.5 sacks from Wood and 2 from Silverback. They finished with 1.5 and 2.5 respectively. Pretty damn good night, if you ask me. There was some stat that Silverback's last two MNF games included 5.5 sacks and 4 forced fumbles. Both games were in the throwbacks, do we have a jersey controversy? Go to the golden oldies all season! Wood and Silverback were huge all game, but Timmons' sack nearly impressed me the most. Dude was on a mission to end that Ravens drive, and nothing was going to get in his way. How sick is he going to be in the coming years? And how sick will Tomlin look for taking Timmons and Woodley 1-2 in his first draft as head coach? A perfect 5 of 5 for the LBs.

Jeff Reed. He's making good on me 'n Cotter's prediction of a 100% FG kicking season. One helmet for each made FG, one for making the practice one in OT and one for winning the game. 5 of 5 helmets. Where would we be this season without him?

As Cotter said, I guess this can be used as a celebratory gesture. Don't ask...we were taping the opening song for the pregame show.



Jacksonville in Jacksonville next week. Time to put this win behind us and get ready for playoff redemption.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

So, that was a game that down the line, when we're watching the Super Bowl DVD of this season, will remind us of how we got our ass handed to us for good reason. I personally want to thank the Eagles for dishing out a healthy dose of "shut the hell up," and I hope we learn from this experience. No two ways about it...the Eagles completely dominated us, and we pretty much deserved it. I'll admit, that as a fan base collectively, we were feeling pretty good about ourselves after beating the Texans and Browns. Playing a better team this week just shows us that we still have a long way to go, and we're nowhere near the elite team everyone made us out to be.

It's better to get a reality check in Week 3 than it is in Week 13, am I right? Let's get that underdog mentality back quick, and remember that there are no free passes to the championship.

The O-Line shouldn't have dressed, because they didn't show up at all. I'm not even going to discuss them in my rankings, because each keystroke is just going to be filled with rage. I can feel myself heating up already just mentioning their ineptitude. 0 of 5 helmets...let's move on.

It amazes me that a team can be completely confused as the Steelers were this week. It hurts more when, despite the obvious shortcomings, you're still one touchdown from the lead with only minutes left in the game. The D looked suspect at times, allowing backup RBs with multiple knee surgeries to look like top draft picks, but their play helped keep the Steelers in the game. We'll get to guys like Troy and McFadden later, but let's begin this so we can end.

Ben. What the hell, kid? I know everyone is going to say the same thing, but how is it that hard to get rid of the ball? Its awesome that you can dip your shoulder or shake off initial contact in the pocket. Everyone has known this since you were a rookie, though. Once you show that you can elude that first guy, opposing D coordinators are going to plan for this and have a second rusher close your scrambling gaps. Jim Johnson planned for this perfectly. I don't think you've understood this fact at all this season. You don't have nearly as much time as you think, and the O-Line is only going to make this worse. Philly beat us with the quick drop and short pass...watch the tapes and learn, young man. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Santonio. Its 3 games in, and you still haven't really broken out. Last week was decent, but you took a step back with the drops this week. Ben wasn't dishing, but the balls that come your way need to be caught. Another 2 of 5 helmets.

NOT TALKING ABOUT THE RUNNING GAME.

Lawrence Timmons. I don't know how many 3rd and mediums there were for the Eagles, but in this instance, you need Lawrence Timmons in the game. His closing speed is great, and I was left wanting when Philly would convert the short passes to the line of scrimmage that somehow resulted in first downs. Speed kills. Timmons needs more time in the game to make an impact. He gets 3.5 of 5 stars, but only because he wasn't used enough. Not entirely your fault, Lawrence.

Troy. That pick was one of the sickest things I've ever seen. Someone try to do that right now without breaking a minimum of 3 bones in your body. Can't do it. Troy is healthy and a terror. Every season after his rookie year, I've been hyping him up as a potential AFC Defensive Player of the Year. Is this the year? 4.5 of 5 helmets.

Bryant McFadden. How good is he playing right now? Not only did he have the awareness to pick up the easy fumble, but he also came up with a clutch pick. Who woulda thought that our defensive backfield would outplay our offense? 5 of 5 helmets for Bryant.

Arians. Keep on keeping on, man. At least we'd run twice in a row to set up 3rd and long even after knowing our running game was nowhere to be found. 0 of 5 helmets. Gross.

Ravens next Monday night. If we can't control Joe Flacco, we got some problems.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

As I said last week, the MPotD will come at you closer to mid-day.

The weather tried its best to even out the game, but only one team avoided the mistakes caused by the wind and rain. As you probably could've guessed, that team was the Steelers. And it was probably because Black and Golddust made it happen.

Listen, I don't want to hear "It's our time," or "the Steelers have won 9 in a row, so the we'll win this game" from Browns players or fans ever again. Last night's win makes it 10 in a row, and we're showing no signs of letting up on our "rival." How about field a competitive team, kill the turnovers and hold on to the ball. The weather affected both sides, but our game plan and play-calling provided us the opportunity to work the clock and gain yard when needed. Sure, there were a few too many punts for my liking, but you take what you can get when gale-force winds are flying through the stadium.

At the end of the game, we still sit at 2-0, and the Browns have the script entirely flipped. Where's that sexy pick of the Browns in the AFC North, football "experts?"

Ben. I'll admit that I was anxious to see how he'd perform in the elements, and as fans, we were allowed to expect a pick or two. Especially with the shoulder. Asshole Shaun Rogers tried his best to knock Big Ben out with the late hit directly to the suspect shoulder, but Ben hung in, and was able to rest his injury by just handing the ball off a million times. It wasn't a huge game by anyone's count, but I'll take 12 for 19 for 184 and a score most days of the week. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Ben.

Willie Parker. Not really a standout game, but using the same logic as I did with Ben above, its nice to call a 100-yard game mostly meh. That 19-yard scamper late pushed him over the century mark, and he did enough to keep the Browns offense off the field. There were no real fireworks, but we'll blame it on the rain (Milli Vanilli-style) for this game. 3.5 out of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Michael Phelps. Corona cans? I don't know whether to mock your taste or compliment your ballsiness. A solid 3 of 5 helmets? Thanks for jinxing your boy Braylon.

Troy. The NFL is in for the second coming if Polamalu is 100% after the injuries he's had the past few seasons. He's been playing like a man possessed through two games, and I'm only hoping he can keep playing at this level without getting injured again. He saw that Anderson throw before Anderson threw it, and that pick was clearly the turning point in the game. Oh, and that flip over the O-line to disrupt the inside run was fantastic. Vintage Troy all night. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Santonio. Very quietly put up 94 yards and an 18.8 yard average. Without the weather, that might've been 150 and 20. His potential is crazy. 4 of 5 helmets.

Mewelde Moore/Mother Nature. I'll forgive the muffed punts all night. But only for one night. Its a forgivable 2 of 5 helmets.

And props to guys like Bryant McFadden (starting in place of Deshea and making a huge pick), Silverback (who was on meth again) and the rest of the D. I love how the announcers always fawn over Jamal Lewis when he plays the Steelers, and our D shuts him down every game. Makes me all warm inside.

Anyone you wanna praise or call out? Leave 'em in the comments.

Iggles next week. I shall forget my respect for the Steagles for this one week.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

Hey guys...guess what? MMCNY is back! Its been awhile. You all are looking great. We should get together and do lunch.

Prior to the game (and season!) starting, I said to Cotter that we couldn't afford to start slow. One Roethlisberger pick, one slacking defense and the season already would have been in trouble. I wanted to see an efficient offense, a steady O-line and smothering defense early and often. On the whole (tee hee), I was thoroughly impressed.

No one made the mistake, other than Matt Schaub and his fellow Texans.

I'm wicked hoarse, mostly from the sick atmosphere at Texas Arizona, so I'll be coming at you with my quiet-time voice. I predicted a 35-14 win, but Doug went ahead and hit the nail on the head with the appropriate 38-17 prediction less than an hour before the game started! Can I get some lottery numbers, man?

So, I'm glad MMCNY is back (here's the ratings breakdown, if you're new to the concept). It'll shift the MPotD til later in the day following Steelers games, but you'll adjust. Let's dive in:

Ben. Yes. That is how you open the season. In only 3/4 of the game, Roethlisberger put up pre-'07-type numbers. 13-14 for 137 yards, a touchdown and a passer rating of 147! He didn't force the ball anywhere, really, and was methodical with completion after completion. The Texans didn't want to get beat deep, so Ben took what was given...which is a good sign this early in the season. I felt pretty comfortable with all of Ben's passes, and he didn't let me down at all. A perfect 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the Large one.

Byron. Didn't do anything to ease my mind about the lack of Chuck Batch on the sidelines, but he also didn't make any massive mistakes. He handed off a bunch, which is easy to do with a huge lead, but went 0-4 when asked to chuck the rock. And he was chucking it. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets, but to be fair, he wasn't expected to really do anything.

Willie. Yes. That is how you...pad my fantasy stats. Bill validated my first-round selection of the once-allergic-to-touchdowns-Parker. He continued his recent streak of huge opening-day games, topping 100 yards for the fourth straight season debut. At some point in our preview show or outtakes, we pleaded to Bill for a score. Trading a few fumbles a year for several more touchdowns will vault Willie from a decent, 1,200-yard back to a possible All-Pro. He's really that good. One helmet for each touchdown, one for going over 100 yards and another for not fumbling, and Fast Bill collects 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets in the opener.

D. They're going to get another perfect...so, um...spoiler alert? Silverback proved last year was no fluke as he played like he was on meth again. 3 sacks!? Yikes. The man is a force, and coupled with LaMarr Woodley, provides a formidable challenge to opposing offenses. Wood got in on the sack fest, Farrior pitched in, Nick Eason played a surprisingly good game, and Troy was flying around like pre-injuries Troy. 5 of 5 helmets.

Hines. Looked young all game. Even with the move to a younger WR corps, Hines showed why he still Hines Ward and should be respected as such. Those two touchdowns were critical, and really buried the Texans earlier than they probably expected. 4 of 5 helmets for the 76 yards.

San Antonio. Not really a great game, but someone is going to suffer when everyone else is killing it. I woulda liked a few more catches, but I guess he did as much as he could with what he was given. Only two catches, but a 9.5 yard average, and he converted a big third down. 3 of 5 helmets, and I expect a bigger game in the near future.

Fresh meat next week in the Cleveland Browns. Don't call me, I'll call you.

I'm Putting Peter King On Blast

You heard me. I'm calling out Peter King, and you can blame ESPN for it.

Now that your minds are completely blown, let me explain. I know King, Sports Illustrated's football guru, and ESPN have nothing in common other than a shared spot in the mainstream media, but there's reason for my rage. King is a fine writer in small doses, he's respected in the football community and my Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker column (which will return at the start of the regular season) plays off the title of his Monday Morning Quarterback column. But I have to get pissed off for something that he wrote like two weeks ago, a blatant falsity that was reinforced by ESPN today.

I like to criticize the MSM here at PSaMP, but I'm a perfectly respectful person in everyday life. I'm no Smizik fan, and I've said so in as many words, but our conversation/interview was as cordial as possible. Now, back to King. In a recent column at SI, King had the following to say about Quarterbacks and the AFC North:


[I'm] not sure if the team with the best quarterback in the division is automatically favored. Carson Palmer's the best in the AFC North, and the Bengals are the third- or fourth-best team in that division.


Ah the old "Carson Palmer is an elite quarterback argument." I wrote to King, knowing full well that he gets more email than I could ever imagine, but my question was legit. Here it is in it's entirety:


Mr. King,

I have a question, if I may. It doesn't have to be included in any mailbag or anything, but a response would be greatly appreciated. In your most recent mailbag, you reference Carson Palmer as the top QB in the AFC North. Can I please ask what information you use to grade quarterbacks? As a Steelers fan and blogger, I...and I think I speak for a majority of Steelers fans...find myself scratching my head when Palmer is constantly alluded to as a better quarterback than Ben Roethlisberger. I could ask how many rings Palmer has won, or how many wins both QBs had in their respective rookie seasons, but those are somewhat topical and overused. Last season alone, however, Ben had 6 more touchdowns and 9 fewer interceptions than Palmer, all while posting the second best QB rating in the league behind Tom Brady. I'm sure I don't need to remind you, but Ben's rating was 104.1. Carson struggled to get to 86.7. Sure, Carson threw for more total yards, but yards do not equal wins, as seen in both teams' respective records. Ben managed to get his team into the playoffs via winning the division despite being sacked 30 more times than Palmer. There's no real reason to believe that Ben, his offensive weapons and O-Line won't all improve on last season, so why the love for Palmer? You aren't the first and certainly won't be the last writer to praise Palmer over his Steelers counterpart, but it's troubling to see the same trends over and over in today's sports media landscape. Palmer has done little more than prove to be a vertical passer who can easily rack up the yards, but his resume is dwarfed by that of Roethlisberger. I hope to hear from you soon, as this is something that never seems to have a legitimate answer, and Steelers fans deserve a break from this baffling misconception.

Yours in Big Ben,

Nicholas
psampmail@gmail.com
Editor and Sole Writer at Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies


Am I incorrect in any way? I laid out nothing but solid, known facts about the two QBs, and most everything seems to go against the winless-in-the-postseason Palmer.

So, I didn't get an email back, something I was completely prepared for. I was ready to forget all about it and let Ben prove himself...AGAIN...this season as Palmer's superior. But ESPN had to go and bring it up again. tWWL has team-by-team previews up today on their website. Here's the one for the Steelers. James Walker, a .com writer I've never heard of, brought up the same Palmer-lauding. Take a look at this bs:


Best offensive player: QB Ben Roethlisberger. Roethlisberger had 3,154 yards passing and 32 touchdowns in '07. He is close to joining the NFL's elite quarterbacks and could solidify his spot next to Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer with an even bigger year in 2008.


Please, someone tell me how Carson Palmer is compared to Peyton and Tom? I'm no fan of Manning or Brady, but I respect what they've done in their careers. Hell, they both have rings. So does Big Ben. So does Trent Dilfer. And Brad Johnson. Palmer's hand is naked (a visual that made me throw up slightly). So Palmer can throw for a great number of yards when healthy...big deal. He can also throw an assload of interceptions. I guess I'm just happy fellow postseason-loser Tony Romo wasn't referenced by Walker.

So I'm calling you out, Peter King. Go ahead, Google your name and find this post. Or better yet, someone email this post to King on any of his contact sheets in his columns at SI. Steelers Nation deserves an answer.

Attention: There Will Be No MMCNY This Week

Call me whatever you want, but I refuse to write a MMCNY for the Steelers loss on Saturday.

Sure, I do get rather bitchy when the Steelers lose. However, it isn't that difficult to see how and why the team lost to Jacksonville. Ben , although he rebounded nicely in the second half, played like mud for the first 30 minutes. Special teams opened the floodgates early. And the most glaring problem was the play-calling of one Bruce Arians.

Honestly, a designed Quarterback run on a critical 3rd and 6 late in the 4th quarter? After two runs that totaled 4 yards? I know running out the clock was a top priority, but the passing game is what got the team back into contention and eventually, the lead.

BtSC asks if Bruce should stay or go. My honest opinion...can him. FIRE BRUCE ARIANS.

However he's already infused the team with so much offense based around the Tight End that it could be rather difficult for the next guy to adequately work with the personnel available. The Steelers might not get rid of him for the sole fact that he's ingrained so much of his offensive philosophy into this team. Any future coordinator would have to either make full scale changes to the team by either trade or the draft. That might be too much for the Steelers' front office to handle.

So I apologize if you were really craving a MMCNY. I'll do a final MMCNY sometime as a way to rate myself on how I did throughout the season. Who knows when it will go up, but I promise I'll get it to you.

Picture courtesy of ICHC.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

We lost. I'm over it. In trying to find the silver lining, I only came up with one positive. A win might've exhausted the team, and the excitement and energy spent could have hurt the team down the stretch. But that's just me rationalizing.

Tale of the tape: Awful defense. Underlying theme: FGs come back to bite you.

Oh, and some awesome anonymous Patriots fan decided to show up after the game spewing traditionally ignorant and irrelevant New England bullshit (I edited some of the content. For the kiddies).

Anonymous said...
Pats ruuuuullleeeeee.....Anthony who?????WHERES MY MONEY BACK?I've been to Pittsburgh and your town smells like a thousand Afghanee assholes!!! What a shitty place to live, loosers!
December 9, 2007 8:00 PM

Anonymous said...
Like it or not, both Afghanee assholes AND the city of Pittsburgh smell like shit....You can deny it all you want, but...I GUARANTEE IT!Here's a thought...Why don't you f**king p***ies do something productive instead of ranking on Patriot nation every other second. It makes me all the more satisfied when the Pats kick the living shit out of your pathetic nobody Steelers.And by the way, I took I-90 all the way out to Erie and then went to Pittsburgh the day after:All I gotta say is your entire f**king state is filled with the worst f**king smell and the shittiest f**king view I have ever seen in my entire life. Its no wonder everyone who lives there is a pathetic, depressed peice of shit who should have been killed as a fetus. Im sure your skank whore mother regrets you to this day.
December 9, 2007 11:45 PM

I thought Cleveland fans were bad. With our recent domination over the Brownies, I think New England fans are now enemy #1. Please...someone call Steelers fans classless one more time.

I'm gonna do this quick. The mistakes were so glaring that its not gonna take much to explain.

Ben. Played well. Didn't finish drives, though. 13 points should've been 21. Plus, that goal line stop hurt as well. Bruce Arians is partly to blame. Ben gets 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

RBs. Aside from Ben, they were the only other bright spot. Willie went over 100 while Najeh was looking like a WR. 3.5 out of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Bruce Arians. He is the most uncreative Offensive Coordinator. The only time he tried to do something creative was on the goal line with the WR handoff. You don't need to be creative on the goal line. Just punch it in. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Willie Colon. Wow. My first-ever 0 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Vrabel was offsides on several of the plays, but Willie looked horrible.

Secondary. I thought Troy being out wouldn't make this big of a difference. Ty Carter played well in his place the past few weeks, and Anthony Smith was starting to come into his own. However, a veteran like Troy wouldn't bite on the repeated play fakes like the younger guys did. With Troy, some of those long passes are negated, and we have a different ballgame. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Rest of D. Why did no one hit Welker when he first came off the line? You have 5 yards to beat the snot outta him. Philly and Baltimore did just that, and made the game competitive. We didn't. That, added to no pressure on Brady makes for a lethal combination. I'm hoping Mike Tomlin and Dick LeBeau were holding some of their cards in case the two teams meet again in the postseason. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets. That was awful defense.

I hope New England goes undefeated. WHAT! DID YOU JUST SAY THAT, TEC?!?!?! Yes. Go 16-0. I don't give a shit. That'll just make it so much more bitter when they lose in the playoffs. No team that passes that much will succeed in January. Everyone was writing off Green Bay earlier in the season because they had no running game. Their's is back on track. But I'm sure Maroney and Faulk can just get to normal speed in January after barely being used in September through December.

Jacksonville next week. 9-5 would suck. We better bounce back ridiculously fast.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

We won. Can't ask for much more than that. However, Ben and Fast Bill did little to impress, and the 24-10 win can be credited to Heath, Hines and the D.

Faced with less bog-like conditions than Monday, the Steelers still needed to overcome serious weather. I was pissed that I had to walk out tin the rain to get something outta my car. Playing a football game in that nasty stuff had to be awful.

Ben complained about the wet ball early, but was able to reverse his fortunes after throwing a costly interception in the first quarter. On the flip side, Carson Palmer started efficient, but then proceeded to stink up Heinz Field no matter which direction he was going.

Despite the shady offense, the team looked more like a team capable of bringing down the Patriots in a week. I wasn't ready to say that after the Jets and the Fins game. I'm ready now. Resiliency, baby. We fought through the conditions and the awful start to create a decent win.

Tale of the tape: A win is a win. Underlying theme: Our D is the (collective) man.

Ben and Bill won't be getting 4s and 5s this week.

Ben. Eh. I've seen better. I've seen worse. We can look a this performance either way. He sucked early, but turned things around throughout. Or...he blamed his struggles on the conditions, threw some awful passes and only completed as many passes as he did because Hines and Heath had glue on their hands. Ben was the winning QB, so I'll try to be positive. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Yeah, I've been giving fractions of helmets lately, but Ben can't make these same mistakes next week. CANNOT. This won't be stressed enough.

Bill. Gross. Stupid Jerome Bettis elbow condoms. Why didn't he take those bitches off? I'm not going to place the blame solely on those, however. Bill was trying to cut down on fumbles this season, and for the most part, he succeeded to this point. Fact of the matter is...Bill put the ball on the turf too much...overturned fumble or not. He somehow found a way to get 87 yards, which nearly redeemed him. Still...dude needs to find the endzone. Soon. 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Score, brother.

Hines. Round of applause, everyone. The record (64 receiving TDs) is his. No more looking towards Stallworth. Hines has cemented his legacy in the 'Burgh on more than one occasion, and this record was merely the icing on the cake. Sure, Stallworth and Swann took catches and touchdowns away from each other, but Hines has had to deal with Kordell, Kent, Tommy, etc. And he hauled in 11 damn catches a week after snagging 9. Well done. He gets 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Heath. Needs the ball more. He isn't a safety blanket. He's a game changer. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

D. Just like Ben, they faltered early, but found a way to completely turn around their performance. The D rallied after allowing an early TD, and each guy stepped up big time. Look at those stats. 2 guys with 8 tackles, one with 7, three with 6. Farrior, Foote and Carter were absolute beasts all game. This is the second straight game in which that trio belittled the opposition. That early TD damaged the ego a bit, but the D still allowed less points (10) than their prior season average (13.2). They're now allowing 12.9 a game. Ridiculous. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets. No 5 here because of that first drive Cincy TD.

If you don't know who we play next week, you are stupid. We'll win. Write that down.