Steelers Beer Cooler Scooters Are Too Badass

You know, I live in NYC, so getting around means lots of walking to public transportation. The subway may be your friend, but the walk to the subway sucks. To remedy this problem, someone please get me the scooter seen in this video for Malcolm Xmas.

But you don't live in NYC, do you? Well, this little bad boy seems to be going at least 2, maybe 3 MPH, so you should have no problem scootin' down the Boulevard of the Allies.

Someone bothering you at the tailgate? Just pretentiously drive away from the negative asshole. I'm telling you, this thing is a problem solver. And I don't have one yet.

Malcolm Xmas is only days away, people.

Magic is Only Cool When Beer and the Steelers are Involved

I'm not gonna lie, magic freaks me out from time to time. Sure, card tricks blow my mind, and I'm almost sure that Criss Angel is Jesus, but magic is just...weird.

However, if you can somehow combine magic, beer and the Steelers, well...I just might tune in.

The fellow in this video is named Al Hastings, and he's obviously trying to convert me into a magic-lover. With merely a Terrible Towel and a camera mounted on the shelf or some shit, Al makes beer...uh...magically appear (sorry). This dude would be a hit in section 521 at Heinz.

I kinda need to learn this trick.