The Pirates Are Good At Baseball

Barring some ungodly circumstance, this might be the last I write about the Pirates until next season. Steelers season has begun and the Pens are gearing up for the coming year as well. But I need to comment on some recent happenings on the Pirates landscape and how we should effectively deal with the news.

A few days ago, the Buccos clinched their 16th consecutive losing season, tying them with the 10,000+ loss Philadelphia Phillies for the longest streak of back to back losing seasons in the history of professional sport. There's no NFL, NBA or NHL team that has reached that level of awfulness, and the MLB proudly(?) stands alone with two. One more year of this, and we take the top spot.

My buddy Pat had a solid look back at the streak. I was about the same age as Pat when the Braves/Bream/Cabrera/Pirates/Bonds play went down. I remember the good times, contending for the NL pennant, watching Bonds, Bonilla and Van Slyke, marvelling at Drabek. But it seems like all of my good memories about the team have been destroyed by this string of ineptitude. I chuckle now when people bring up the Pirates in conversation. It shouldn't be like that.

But it is. We're stuck with this awful team, hoping that each year will snap the skid. Raise the Jolly Roger stated that the streak-continuing loss provided for a sad day in Pittsburgh...but did it? I think we're looking at this the wrong way.

As a fan of the team desensitized by the 16 years of awful baseball, I think its time to re-think how we view the Pirates. The Buccos just accomplished something that has been untouched by everyone, save for the lowly Phillies. The team that once boasted Clemente, Stargell, Honus, Barry, multiple World Series trophies and the Maz walkoff now is known throughout the sports world as one of the worst franchises ever. So instead of crying over our misfortune...let's celebrate our new position in baseball lore.

Is anyone really going to be fiercely discussing the Ravens/Giants or Bucs/Raiders Super Bowls 30-40 years down the road? The Marlins beat the Indians to capture a World Series, and they weren't even a team when we last had a winning season. The Lightning won a Stanley Cup at some point.

My point is...so many teams best .500, go to the playoffs, win championships, produce Hall of Famers. Hell, we get spoiled by the Steelers and (hopefully) the Penguins. Only two teams have ever lost 16 consecutive times. And we're at the point where number 17 is not out of the question.

So why the sadness, Pirates fans? We've come to expect sub-.500 seasons, so why would the 16th version of the same story be any different from the previous 15? Flip the script, and take pride in your team being a conversation point for years to come. Shit, we've just done something astoundingly special and seemingly impossible. If this is all we have to look forward to, why not make the best of it?

Rappers Do Not Follow Baseball

If you're like me, you constantly ask yourself things like, "I wonder if awful, mainstream, wanna-be hip hop artists are good at keeping up with the national sports scene..."

Don't lie. You've thought of that word-for-word. You can admit it. I don't judge.

Above is a screenshot of the new video for Shawty is a 10, by flavor of the month The Dream. These dudes obviously don't watch baseball.*

Dude on the right is lookin' fly in his pinstripe Hotlanta Braves lid cocked ever so slightly to the right. Only problem is that the Braves finished the season with a record of 84-78 (.519), putting them 5 games behind the Phillies in the division and 5.5 games back in the wild card. Sure, they made a splash by picking up Teixeira, but they couldn't keep up with the NL top-feeders. No playoffs...no respect from PSaMP.

Fatty on the left did a little better by riding the Phillies bandwagon. At least his choice made it into October. His pea-soup-green Phillies hat, also cocked (with more emphasis than his Braves-loving boy) to the right, says that he don't mess around with no non-playoffs teams' hats. Philly was 89-73 (.549), which magically won the East. Once they got to October, the Phillies were owned by the Colorado "Used To Employ Dante Bichette" Rockies. In game 1, Philly got straight worked by Jeff Francis. John Madden has dropped Brett Favre cliches that are older than Francis looks. Plus, the hat is pea-soup-green! In a black-and-white shot! How the hell did he do that?

The combined winning percentage of these two teams represented is 173-151 (.534). In the National League, that winning percentage is only better than one NL playoff team, the Cubbies (.525). For those who forget, the Cubbies won the Central, possibly the worst division in baseball. The Cubbies also got swept.

Without the nearly unprecedented Mets collapse, we are talking about two non-playoffs teams with a combined winning percentage that barely eclipses the cursed Cubs.

But I guess if we're supposed to look at the bright side, they weren't supporting the Nats and Reds (or...dare I say...the Pirates),

Great choice of headgear. I'm certain your music will have a shelf-life of more than 15 minutes.








*Me being stupid. I don't need the hatemail from people defending these tools who are probably reppin' fo they hoods. Sorry.