The Pirates Are Good At Baseball

Barring some ungodly circumstance, this might be the last I write about the Pirates until next season. Steelers season has begun and the Pens are gearing up for the coming year as well. But I need to comment on some recent happenings on the Pirates landscape and how we should effectively deal with the news.

A few days ago, the Buccos clinched their 16th consecutive losing season, tying them with the 10,000+ loss Philadelphia Phillies for the longest streak of back to back losing seasons in the history of professional sport. There's no NFL, NBA or NHL team that has reached that level of awfulness, and the MLB proudly(?) stands alone with two. One more year of this, and we take the top spot.

My buddy Pat had a solid look back at the streak. I was about the same age as Pat when the Braves/Bream/Cabrera/Pirates/Bonds play went down. I remember the good times, contending for the NL pennant, watching Bonds, Bonilla and Van Slyke, marvelling at Drabek. But it seems like all of my good memories about the team have been destroyed by this string of ineptitude. I chuckle now when people bring up the Pirates in conversation. It shouldn't be like that.

But it is. We're stuck with this awful team, hoping that each year will snap the skid. Raise the Jolly Roger stated that the streak-continuing loss provided for a sad day in Pittsburgh...but did it? I think we're looking at this the wrong way.

As a fan of the team desensitized by the 16 years of awful baseball, I think its time to re-think how we view the Pirates. The Buccos just accomplished something that has been untouched by everyone, save for the lowly Phillies. The team that once boasted Clemente, Stargell, Honus, Barry, multiple World Series trophies and the Maz walkoff now is known throughout the sports world as one of the worst franchises ever. So instead of crying over our misfortune...let's celebrate our new position in baseball lore.

Is anyone really going to be fiercely discussing the Ravens/Giants or Bucs/Raiders Super Bowls 30-40 years down the road? The Marlins beat the Indians to capture a World Series, and they weren't even a team when we last had a winning season. The Lightning won a Stanley Cup at some point.

My point is...so many teams best .500, go to the playoffs, win championships, produce Hall of Famers. Hell, we get spoiled by the Steelers and (hopefully) the Penguins. Only two teams have ever lost 16 consecutive times. And we're at the point where number 17 is not out of the question.

So why the sadness, Pirates fans? We've come to expect sub-.500 seasons, so why would the 16th version of the same story be any different from the previous 15? Flip the script, and take pride in your team being a conversation point for years to come. Shit, we've just done something astoundingly special and seemingly impossible. If this is all we have to look forward to, why not make the best of it?

Randy Johnson Is A Pretentious D-Bag D-Back

Yes, I said it.

And this is coming from a guy who loves Randy Johnson. The Mariners-era flying mullet? Awesome. The exploding bird? Priceless.

However, the comment he made after the Pirates' 5-3 win last night was a little egotistical, if I dare say so.

To set the stage, the bottom of the 3rd inning provided some fireworks. Neither team had scored, and Doug Mientkiewicz had called a late timeout in the batter's box. Johnson had gotten ready to pitch, and was obviously perturbed at Mientkiewicz's timeout. The two players exchanged words, Johnson started walking toward Mientkiewicz and the benches cleared. Cooler heads prevailed, and nothing of significance happened. Except for Johnson walking Mientkiewicz, then walking in the first run of the game.

Dougie tried to dismiss any friction, and offered the closest thing to an apology:

I'm not going to say much about it, but those things happen, especially when it's hot outside," Mientkiewicz said. "I just asked to get set in the box. Obviously, when pitchers get started it's hard for them to stop.

I'm not trying to get anybody hurt. I don't get many at-bats these days, and I want to at least be ready when I get one.

Johnson tried to forget about the situation as well, but couldn't resist acting like an asshat:

It's not really the storyline," he said. "It didn't bother me at all. If it would've, he'd probably be on a stretcher and I'd be out of the game.

Really? You're 8,000 years old. I'm no huge Mientkiewicz fan, but Johnson comes off looking like a fool. If it didn't bother him, why did Dougie walk? Why did Johnson then walk in the game's first run? Why was he unable to reverse his love for the base-on-balls, issuing 5 of 'em in just under 6 innings?

Johnson was obviously rattled, and allowed the Buccos to win their 5th of their last 8. As my buddy Pat at WHYGAVS said:

...the Bucs are two games under. 500 on June 9th and with the Nationals and Orioles looming on the horizon, they're not going to get a better shot at .500 this year. If they don't do it now, it's not going to happen.

Perfectly put.

And Johnson is still a douche.

I'm A Poet

Yesterday, I received an email from Pat at WHYGAVS and the AOL Fanhouse asking if I'd be interested in writing a poem.

I agreed, mainly because I haven't written a poem since about 5th grade, and my poetry skillz could use some practice.

As it turns out, Fanhouse is pimping out some solid local bloggers to write a short preview for their respective MLB franchise...in poetry form. So far, there's been poems, limericks, a haiku or two...the whole deal.

Now, there are not enough drugs and not nearly enough booze to inspire someone to write a poem about our Pittsburgh Pirates, but I gave it a shot anyway. You can find my submission right here. Don't hate (too much).

MLB Poetry Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates