Verron Haynes Likes To Bounce Checks

Stupid Verron and your flashy cars.

It appears that (former?) Steeler Verron Haynes sucks at paying bills (he was released, but still appears on the team's roster). He's being sued by A&L Motor Sales in Monroeville for deciding against paying for a 2001 Aston Martin. God, I'd love to be rich and (quasi-) famous.

Verron obviously likes to live beyond his oft-injured-barely-a-third-down-back means, paying only $7,650 on a $67,500 luxury car.

What in the hell is Verron Haynes buying that he's bouncing three checks to a car dealership? Has he already blown through his entire contract?

Oh...obviously hyperbaric chambers (image NOT Photoshopped/MS Painted by me):

Fast Bill to Debut His '07 Skillz Against Redskins

I'm sorry. I truly am.

I needed to apologize for not being able to post yesterday, which included the absolutely rare omission of a tiny horse of the day. Internet access has been shaky at best for the past several days, and yesterday included no internet. At all. I'm hoping it doesn't kick out while I'm writing this, because at this point, I've prepared myself to expect anything.

But I'm back. And so is Fast Bill. Appropriate timing, #39.

Fast Bill's 10-day absence was felt by a much larger audience than my small sabbatical. However, Parker will make his preseason debut against the Redskins on Saturday night.

"I think I'm ready now," Parker said after going through a full afternoon practice. "I'm 100 percent. It's the other things I need to work on, like the plays. I'm trying to get that back in my memory bank."

Parker wanted to play last week, but was held out for preventative reasons. His acceleration was down, and I don't fault Tomlin for holding him out of an extra game.

With Fast Bill in the lineup, I have to say that the Skins have no chance (take that, MattyG). My buddy is a huge Skins fan, and he went to college with me at St. Vincent. Nothing like a Skins fan (or any other fan, for that matter) at Steelers training camp.

I'm anxious to see what kind of RB depth chart Tomlin uses. Bill will be playing approximately 20 snaps with the first team. Najeh is sure be up there, with Verron Haynes and Kevan Barlow also filtering in. Gary Russell looked strong last week, and Carey Davis proved himself the week before. Will Davis see more playing time this week? Or will Iron Mike reward Russell for his 6.2 yards per average against the Pack?

Good to have you back, Bill. You presence will add another dynamic element to the offense (who needs to rebound after last week).

Fast Bill Won't Play On Sunday

The Steelers play their first preseason game on Sunday. Willie Parker will not.

Soreness in his left knee will sideline Fast Bill for the NFL's Hall of Fame Game against New Orleans.

Ed Bouchette is claiming he jinxed the stud running back. I say shut up before anything else goes wrong, Ed.

Parker's knee injury is not said to be serious, but there is no reason to push the LT-wannabe to a more serious ailment.

With Willie officially out, Iron Mike can take a better look at the guys vying to be Willie's primary backup. Dump Truck Davenport will likely get a decent amount of reps with the first squad, as will new addition Kevan Barlow. Aside from these two, Verron Haynes will have to show how his surgically-repaired knee holds up.

I'm not too worried about Parker's knee. To this point in his career, he has stayed away from major injuries, and holding him out of the Hall of Fame game will only improve his chances of a quick recovery.

Willie's "I want to be better than LT" speech shows his passion for the game, and not playing the first preseason game will probably eat at him. However, sacrificing a a meager preseason game for the ability to rehab a minor injury should be a worthy deal. There's no reason to risk blowing out a sore knee in the Hall of Fame game.

Can Kevan Barlow Catch 3rd Down Screen Passes?

The Steelers signed RB Kevan Barlow. His most notable success came as a member of the 49ers. Last season, Barlow was used sparingly in New York as a member of the Jets. He also called Mike Nolan, Hitler.

Barlow is a local kid, having played college ball at Pitt. Kevan's signing suddenly makes Verron Haynes expendable. Haynes is recovering from a knee injury, and was hoping to be re-signed after being cut earlier this offseason. Lets hope Barlow is up to the task of catching repeated screen passes on every 3rd down.

At the Steelers' Super Bowl victory parade, I got Haynes (and Chris Hoke. Backups of the world, unite on my hat brim!) to sign my Super Bowl Champions hat. Thanks for the autograph, Verron. You will be (kinda) missed.

Oh, and no more national "experts" calling him Vernon. What was up with all that, anyway? The mispronounced name group lost a key member. We're left with Jerame Tuman. Its "Jeramy," not "Jer-aim," you toolbags.