ESPN's Mount Rushmore Of Sports For Pennsylvania Includes 3 Guys That Weren't Born In The State

ESPN just announced their Mount Rushmore of Sports for Pennsylvania. And it's just another weird way to get weird Rick Reilly to justify his weirdly huge contract.

The legends are Joe Paterno, Wilt Chamberlain, Mario Lemieux and Roberto Clemente.

I have no idea what criteria was used to determine these "faces," but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't confused. Here we have guys born in Brooklyn (Paterno), Philly (Chamberlain), Montreal (Lemieux) and Puerto Rico (Clemente).

All of 'em are guys that represented the places where they coached/played, so I guess that was the basis for their inclusion? I'm kinda lost at this point and haven't seen any of the other Rushmores...would Joe Montana be a nominee in California? 'Cos we lay claim to him in SW PA.

Whatever, I'm over it.

Rick Reilly is weird.

The Thirstbuster is Money

I know Tampa isn't really cold, but if this dude can somehow tweak his invention to serve beer, he'd be the hit of any Super Bowl XLIII tailgate.

Some inventions are downright crazy. Octa-bongs, motorized beer coolers, wiffle bats as beer cups...they do little more than blow your mind. This guy had some damn initiative, using 4 1/2 hours to make something to keep him and his friends warm during cold Steelers pre-games.

I don't know if I'd go with the name Thirstbuster, though. I usually only drink hot chocolate to warm myself up, not to quench my thirst. Now, if he can rig up a liquor or beer tap (maybe even some Kool-Aid or something else, too), then that beast is a definite Thirstbuster. For now, I'd stick with HotLiquidGunPack or something.

And that's why I'm not an inventor/namer.

I'm On Hard Drugs

Look, I'm a pretty badass, hardcore, diehard, any-other-similar-adjective kinda Steelers fan, but I'd like to think my style doesn't come off as acid-trip inducing. I love the team as much as the next guy, but there's certain limits.

As in, lay off the Alvin and the Chipmunks voice.

I'll give props to the guy for being that devoted to the team. Hell, I'll even respect the A-Ha, Take On Me graphics. But at what point does it become too much? I think that point is where there's two of the same guy talking to himself.

Or it might just be the drugs talking.

G-go Steelers? G-go Steelers?

TEH STEELERS R TEH GHEY! OMG WTF LOLZ

I'm amazed at what people put on Youtube sometimes. The above fan video is a bit disturbing, which makes me question the motives of the fan. We all know athletes love the butt-slap, but I didn't think it made for good Internet video.

Oh wait.

And the video's uploader described the video with one word:

"sorry.."

Well played, highlightkey.

If you, too, enjoy watching a fully-grown Pittsburgh Steeler place a well-executed butt slap onto another fully-grown Pittsburgh Steeler, the video is above for your pleasure(?).

I Trust Other Countries with the NFL

Football is an American game. That's why in all those other countries, it's referred to as American Football. Not that soccer bullshit.

So when I want information on my Steelers and the current state of the NFL, you bet your ass I'm gonna go to some counties whose languages I don't comprehend.

The above video comes from some country. That's about as far as I can understand. If you can translate the Youtube page, that's be much appreciated. I'd put it into some online translator, but I don't know which language it's coming from.

But it shows a Madden simulation of the Steelers beating the Colts 27-20, along with a Troy Polamalu 102-yard interception return for a touchdown, so...yay! And that's a badass song in the background.

The next is also from some country. I won't post the video, but you can watch it here. It has a whole bunch of other player analysis, I'm guessing, so I don't want to take up your time with it. But here's a screengrab from the Steelers section:



Leftwich oder Big Ben? More like Leftwich ODOR Big Ben. BURN!

And here's a play they have drawn up:



N needs to get the hell open! No doubt Bruce Arians has already inserted this play into the offensive scheme.

I Am More Confident Than CNN

(click the picture to put it on blast)

I get a lot of strange looks and questions when I tell people that I love miniature horses. Especially when I tell them that I have a sports website that's also dedicated to the cute little beasts. So I'm used to this kinda shit.

The site is for Pittsburgh fans that are confident enough to say, "Yeah, mini ponies ARE badass little critters."

Now...to the point. In the MPotD this morning, I congratulated one Barry Obama. In linking to this CNN article, the favor was re-paid. CNN will link back to blogs that mention that specific article, so I was pumped that they mentioned my site as a blog reaction to Barry's big win.

One thing...they edited the title, "Mini Pony of the Day 11-5-08," and replaced it with "No Title" (see picture).

C'mon, CNN. You used the exact titles on the other blogs you linked to. You even wrote "Mini Ponies" in my blog name! Was the title, "Mini Pony of the Day" too weird for you to re-publish?

Weak game.



/This is a farce. I could care less...just thought it was funny when I saw the title they had given it. Let's see if they link to this post as well, since I mentioned their Barry article again.

Dude, What?

I have a question for you. Have you ever tried to look up sidneycrosby.com? Crosby87, supposedly the official website, has been "In Progress" for several years now. So I tried His name dot com to see what would appear (see how I did that? I capitalized "His" so I could compare Him to Christ).

If you've never tried this, I suggest you do so now. Not only is the website devoted to something other than Sid, but the freaking site has a mini pony on it! I'm losing my shit, man!


Hello Fellow Chelonians. I am Sidney, a Red-eared slider. My owner gave me a 2nd name so I consider myself to be quite unique. Mother nature called me Trachemys scripta elegans; I ca-rum-ba! I have trouble pronouncing it myself and I am the turtle

I weigh about 2 pounds and spend most of my day in my aquarium swimming happily. I am still camera shy as you can see. When I was with my previous owner I was not treated very well. I was kept in the dark most of time, was malnourished, and did not even have claws. But after being taken care of by my new owner I have since grown claws, the spots on my shell have disappeared and I am now much healthier. I also had to learn how to swim as most of the time I had to waddle around the bottom of the tank; the water level was not high enough for me to swim like a turtle should.


WHAT?!?!? Please note that I'm guffawing and choking as I type this. It should help you if you try to read this post in a guffawing voice. The dancing turtles with banjos should help you if you have trouble laughing. The mini pony might be the best. On the page titled Sidney's Friends, the following appears:




Hi Sidney! I'm Gypsy, a Bedlington Terrier all the way from Down Under, Australia. I am very possessive of my owner and I love her to bits. She loves me too. My boyfriend is a miniature horse, James! Yep, I said it right. My boyfriend is a little horse. When I go walking with my owner I make sure we stop by my boyfriend's do I can give him a kiss. He leans right down and kissy kissy!!

My owner just got a new rug and I christened it! ** If you know what I mean. ** That's all for now, Sidney!!


I'm literally dying at this point. None of this makes sense, and I love it for that sole reason. The name, the turtle, the odd image of Muhammad Ali, the goat and mini pony lovers. It's perfect, and all I'd expect from a site bearing the name of the 21 year old hockey star from the Burgh.

Look At This Nerd

Even though I blog about sports, which pisses off a lot of MSMers to the point where they want accountability and, dare I say it, censorship, even I can admit when certain people shouldn't have access to the Internet. Or air.

Sidney Crosby gets a lot of heat, mostly because he's the face of the NHL, he's talented, and his status and skill pisses people off. Troll any blog post, message board or website that mentions Sid and you're sure to see negative barbs thrown his way. DIVER, WHINER, BABY, CINDY, FAG, WEAK, NO-TALENT CLOWN SHOES...its gotten to a point where we Penguins fans are numb to the criticisms.

However, I really don't get the point of this video. Is it mocking Sid? Or is imitation really the sincerest form of flattery? 'Cause I've made videos way back in high school with the 70 year old Spanish teacher from Italy that made more sense than this pile of garbage. Honestly, I played the Crocodile Hunter while he beat me up to the beginning riff of Thursday's Understanding in a Car Crash. See? More coherent.

Fake Crosby might be the most annoying thing I've ever seen/heard, but I'm equally weirded out by the muffled laughter of the videographer. I didn't even crack a damn smile while watching this. I almost cracked a knuckle trying to punch the computer screen, but that's another thing altogether.

Yes, I read the comments on the Youtube page that said this video is not hating on Crosby, but there are much better ways to make a point, whether positive or negative, about The Kid.

If you're going to mock Sid in a video, at least jump in a pool (to cement the diver claim), cry into the camera (to ridicule the whiner/baby insults), or make out with a dude (to imply that Sid's gay).

See folks, I'm just trying to make the Internet a better place. My Equal Opportunity Blogging even gives advice to the anti-Crosby-ites out there.

Rashard Mendenhall Is Beetlejuice

Hat tip to Mondesi's House for the picture.

MH shows evidence that Beetlejuice (nsfw), the weird, tiny little man best known for his Howard Stern Show appearances, is a proud member of Steelers Nation. Personally, I admire him most for his award-worthy role in Bubble Boy.

The picture and write-up is uncanny, because I was planning on making a Beetlejuice mention today. I've been trying to put my thumb on who Steelers draft pick Rashard Mendenhall looks like, and my thoughts echo those on several random message boards. Listen to these:

- "Mendenhall looks like a non ******** version of beetlejuice [sic]." DChess on Draft Countdown Forums.

- Posted pictures of both Mendenhall and Beetlejuice, Catch17 on CowboysZone (requires registration).

Now its time for you to decide (NFL Juice say they look nothing alike, but posted this picture):



100%.

(Side note: No disrespect to Rashard. Well, as least amount of disrespect as possible when one likens you to Beetlejuice. Its not the teeth, or short appearance or wacky antics. Its the eyes. Definitely the eyes.)

Janne Pesonen's Cult Song Is Insane

Someone hand me a bunch of acid please. At least then I'll have a bit of an explanation for this.

Jesus Pesonen? Wait...two chicks? Dammit, back to Janne Christ.

I never question where nicknames or theme songs come from. I like to sit back, enjoy some fan's creation and laugh at the absurdity. The Pensblog and Free Candy? Awesome. It even spawned its own video. At least it was in English, though.

I've made no effort to hide the fact that Janne's my guy going into the season. However, I'd like to better understand his cult song.

Does anyone speak Finnish? All I hear is "Nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah nah nah nah."

I've tried to translate the song, which is "Pelimies" by Martti Vainaa & sallitut aineet. The only semi-normal-sounding phrases are:

"package Teen mitä but , pump iron"

"scurrying screw vernacular"

"Teen bundle its less tense out-of-date"

"Tactful touch ( touch ) health its concede ( concede ) Access move ( move ) night too?"

"package Is anybody extraneous , which pattern stumble"

"Tule thus mild thee cafeteria"

"meat is robust while meat is dull"

"night am victor"

"Glorious hirvet and glorious lion"

Awesome. I'm going to go ahead and guess the Finnish-English translation failed on several different levels. Because when I think Janne Pesonen, I think, "meat is robust while meat is dull."

This crazy video makes me so happy.

I Start Seamen Rampage

Bucco fans, your Put Sabre Tips Right have all new nicknames for nearly every player on the team, including some for the older greats as well. This video (created by Nets FX), while sorta long and set to video game music from my old Macintosh Performa, is a good starting point if you're just trying to catch up.

Pact Stamp is on the DL.

In Lockjaws might (hopefully) get traded to the Dodgers.

Vineyard Rx should have made the All-Star team.

Do Each Alarm has ADD.

Bee Control Meter needs his number retired league-wide.

Mental Touch just made his first All-Star team. I shall use this as his official nickname from here on out.

Come up with your own anagrams here. Be sure to dominate any player not yet mentioned by this random-ass video.

Foreshadowing, Brought To You By Roberto Clemente

Spooky, huh?

I know its easy to make a claim that you never know when your time may be up in this world, but it sounds odd coming from a professional athlete. Nowadays, with so many players worried about contracts, injuries, playing well in contract years for bigger paydays down the road, endorsements, etc., its peculiar to think any of 'em might actually contemplate their own demise. Maybe this video shows how much the modern athlete has changed from his predecessor.

Or maybe Clemente was just that special of a guy.

We always hear of Clemente's skill and his incredible sense of compassion for disaster victims. However, his time was before that of Youtube (damn you, Al Gore), so actually seeing him talk of his own mortality is entirely spooky.

Clemente's head was in the right spot. He was a season away from his 3,000th hit, and knew it was still a distant possibility. He was injured throughout the '72 season, and his hit came in September, well after the All-Star break. Still, with such a historic achievement within grasp, Clemente knew that the plateau was still out of his hands. His untimely death is foreshadowed in this video, a thought that sends chills up my spine.

Roberto Clemente. Baseball player, humanitarian, hero, All-Star...clairvoyant?

Um...What?

Man, I don't even know what to make of this.

It mighta made more sense if Barry Bonds was still on the Giants. OR if they used any other current baseball player who has been linked to 'roids (LoDuca, Pettitte, Giambi, Guillen...I could go on if you'd like).

However, I can't pass up the opportunity to post random Youtube vids that remotely mention any Pittsburgh sports team.

So enjoy. If you can.