That Dude Behind Dan Potash Sucks

h/t to The Pensblog for the video.

Guess what, dude? Dan Potash is unflappable.

I've never really liked it when idiots purposefully interrupt stuff just to get their face on t.v. The only thing remotely close that was still acceptable was back when I was younger and still living in the 'Burgh, my dad had a business trip to New York City (where I now live), and waved to the camera on Good Morning America. Now, its acceptable because that kinda thing is the norm on GMA when they, you know, pan to the crowd.

But if you're at a Penguins game, and the amazing Dan Potash is interviewing Robert Morris' head coach, don't pull a "look at me" with a terrible attempt at The Robot or some shit.

Potash is the pinnacle of professionalism, and always seems to put forth a solid interview. He might be one of the best on-field (on-ice?) reporters in the game. If I was in his place, and some fool started showboating behind me just to get on camera, the mic would instantly drop, and a haymaker would be flying in the direction of said asshat.

And that's why I blog and Dan Potash gets things done.

Bob Smizik Hates You Because Someone Else Booed Jaromir Jagr

(tiniest. picture. ever.)

Shame on Bob Smizik.

As seen in today's MPotD links, The Pensblog called out Bob Smizik for, well, calling out all Pittsburgh fans. Unfairly, I might add.

Just listen to this logic:


In Pittsburgh, they regularly and vociferously boo the second-greatest hockey player to perform for the beloved home team.

In Pittsburgh, they boo the kid third baseman who had put up Roberto Clemente-type numbers until he was mysteriously traded.

...

And now these people are rubbing their hands in glee with anticipation of Feb. 8, when they can show the world the depth of the Pittsburgh knucklehead population. That's when the Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings make their only appearance at Mellon Arena in the 2008-09 regular season. The knuckleheads aren't excited about a chance for the Penguins to get some measure of revenge for their loss in the Cup final. No, what they can't wait for is the chance to rain down boos on Marian Hossa.


The dreaded "They" and "These people." Really? Let's look at this rationally. Many Pittsburgh fans boo Jaromir Jagr. I am a Pittsburgh fan. By Smizik's math, I boo Jaromir Jagr, am wetting my pants about the possibility of booing Marina Hossa and I'm a knucklehead for my antics.

Filler newspaper articles like these absolutely kill me. The blogosphere catches way too much flak for irrelevant stories, made up rumors and downright mean pieces. We (yes, I'll speak for more than just myself) get yelled at by the Bissingers, put down by mainstream media outlets and are generally kicked around by anyone with a beef. What mystifies me is how mainstream media outlets allow articles to be published with little to no research. Why didn't Smizik go out on the street and grab a couple Penguins fans to see if his assumptions were true? Is he above that? Does he have that much of a thumb on the Pittsburgh landscape that his assertions more or less sum up the local experience?

Look, I don't boo Jaromir Jagr. The man is a legend in my eyes and I'll always respect what he did in Pittsburgh. Hell, I even admitted my hatred for Jagr-booers (?) back in April. But alas, my wrists have been sufficiently slapped by the investigatory journalism of Bob Smizik.

So let's flip the script. Time to use the Smizik Method for Successful Journalism:

"In Pittsburgh, all newspaper writers are bitchy and complain as if they have gas."

"In Pittsburgh, they (all writers) refuse to research, or at the very least, interview a fan."

"In Pittsburgh, all writers pass off gravy articles thinking this is still the 80s where the only cognitive response would be in an unpublished letter to the editor."

I'm sure no other writer in the city would take offense to being grouped together with this clown. Either evolve or disappear, Bob.

Janne Pesonen's Cult Song Is Insane

Someone hand me a bunch of acid please. At least then I'll have a bit of an explanation for this.

Jesus Pesonen? Wait...two chicks? Dammit, back to Janne Christ.

I never question where nicknames or theme songs come from. I like to sit back, enjoy some fan's creation and laugh at the absurdity. The Pensblog and Free Candy? Awesome. It even spawned its own video. At least it was in English, though.

I've made no effort to hide the fact that Janne's my guy going into the season. However, I'd like to better understand his cult song.

Does anyone speak Finnish? All I hear is "Nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah nah nah nah."

I've tried to translate the song, which is "Pelimies" by Martti Vainaa & sallitut aineet. The only semi-normal-sounding phrases are:

"package Teen mitä but , pump iron"

"scurrying screw vernacular"

"Teen bundle its less tense out-of-date"

"Tactful touch ( touch ) health its concede ( concede ) Access move ( move ) night too?"

"package Is anybody extraneous , which pattern stumble"

"Tule thus mild thee cafeteria"

"meat is robust while meat is dull"

"night am victor"

"Glorious hirvet and glorious lion"

Awesome. I'm going to go ahead and guess the Finnish-English translation failed on several different levels. Because when I think Janne Pesonen, I think, "meat is robust while meat is dull."

This crazy video makes me so happy.

Ryan Malone Is Gary Roberts?

Gary Roberts can dunk a basketball with his feet.

Gary Roberts is so tall, he did a backflip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.

These are some of the Pensblog-inspired Gary Roberts Facts that make up half of the legend (okay, I made that second one up myself).

The other part of his legend includes his playoff performances, especially against Ottawa. All legends need substance, right?

This may seem a little far fetched right now, but I see Ryan Malone at the onset of his own Roberts-like career. I'm using no stats, merely my own opinion. I'm too lazy and bogged down with actual work to look up stats right now.

Watching Malone tirelessly work the top of the crease this postseason, I can't help but notice how much he plays like a younger Gary Roberts. Roberts immediately impacted the Pens with his presence around the net when he was acquired last season. Pittsburgh fans appreciated that on a level unrecognized before #10 came to town. Throughout this playoff run, Malone has matured into the type of crease-invading player that alters the course of the postseason. And he's conveniently doing it to pick up the slack with Gary out of the lineup.

Malone helped his boyhood team reach the final for the first time since '92 with two goals and an assist in the series-clinching game 5 win over the Flyers. Should the Pens win the Cup this season, Malone's contributions to help get the team this far would be seen as inspirational.

Roberts won a Cup early in his career, which is one of the reasons why his name invokes so many unique images. Would Roberts-facts Facebook pages exist if he was just another Cup-less player?

So if the Pens win the Cup, will Malone be that gritty, physical, garbage-goal scoring vet 10 years down the road? Will he get his own, Ryan Malone facts? He's physical (fought Hatcher), can score in the crease, knows how to check...and now has a chance to win a Cup.

Roberts-esque, if you ask me.

And too bad for us that he's going to be an unrestricted free agent.

Fear The Playoff BTM: Part 2

The BTM is growing.

That's Bad Teenage Moustache, for you Philly fans.

Game 2 starts soon. Can the Flyers withstand another BTM-lead assault? I'd like to think not.

Go Pens!

Pensblog Photoshop Expo

If you have a decent amount of free time on your hands, be sure to head over to The Pensblog to check out their massive Photoshop Expo.

My above MS Paint Photoshop from this post made the cut, as did several thousand golfing/sweep entries.

There are some fantastic pictures. Great way to start your Friday.

Go Pens!

(yes, I did just pull that off a live-stream of tonight's anthem)

Game 2.

Go Pens!

UPDATE: Is Don Cherry subconsciously rooting for the Pens?

Time For Revenge

(picture blatantly stolen from, then credited to, The Pensblog)

I'm not that pissed about yesterday's loss to Philly. How can I be, when we wrapped up a season that saw the Penguins secure the 2 seed in the East? Getting the 1 seed would have been a paper championship, and the team needn't focus on those with the grueling playoffs starting in a handful of days.

The real reason I didn't mind the loss is because our first-round opponent is set. And they're a familiar foe. The Ottawa Senators.

You may remember the Senators destroying Pittsburgh in the opening round of last-season's playoffs. Pittsburgh was on the wrong side of the 4-5 series, playing more games in Canada than in the States. The Pens won only one game, then hit the links early. If you hadn't prayed for this matchup in the first round of this year's playoffs, then you are not a Penguins fan. We need to serve up some revenge. Senators beware.

I don't mean to sound over-confident, just excited. The Sens will likely be without Daniel Alfredsson, which coincides nicely with the return of Senator-killer Gary Roberts. Also, I enjoy knowing that Ottawa played sub-.500 hockey since Christmas. Happy holidays, Penguins fans!

My head is nearly exploding with the possibility of destroying Ottawa in the first round. Now, they still have Spezza and Heatley, so I'm not writing them off before we even play a game. However, not having Captain Alfredsson makes MAF's job that much easier.

The puck drops in two days. All the accomplishments of this past season are gone. Evgeni Malkin is 100-some points lighter, and MAFer is looking for his first win of the season. Sid the Kid has two healthy ankles. There's blood in the water, and the Penguins have the scent.

Go Pens.

Gary Roberts Will Check Someone In Half In The Playoffs

(Picture ripped directly from The Pensblog. However, I'm not the asshole who wouldn't credit them)

First things first...I don't like stealing some other blog's inside jokes and using them to make myself look funny and unique. Gary Roberts (and all the myths/urban legends that go with him) is The Pensblog's baby. Several other blogs (not naming names or trying to hate on anyone specific) have referenced Gary Roberts in attempts to be funny/cool, and didn't even give credit where credit is due. I'm not piggybacking on Pensblog's ideas with this title...it is merely what I believe as a Penguins fan.

Lots of people were concerned when Roberts broke his leg. He's old, and prior to his injury, he struggled at the onset of the season. However, before he got injured, I still wasn't worried about his offensive output. Looking back on what he contributed after Ray Shero traded for him last season...he's a guy who is much more valuable in the playoffs. Even if Roberts played all 82 games this season, I would have been okay with no goals and no assists. The man is a playoff force, and frankly, anything positive he gives the team in the postseason trumps any struggles he had prior to breaking his leg.

So my excitement was unparalleled when I heard Roberts was back at (non-contact) practice. He's even practicing more of late (at the bottom of the article).

And I doubt Roberts' presence will do anything to hinder the team's ability to gel as a unit (heh-heh...does anybody wanna see MY unit?). Hell, the team knows this. Roberts hasn't been off by himself during his rehab. The dude's been with Lemieux in the owner's box for games, hanging at practices, even serving food for rich people alongside his 'mates. Its amazing that injuries have forced the team to use 37 different players this season, but the way the Penguins continually produce at a high level kills any thoughts of team chaos. Roberts was a part of that team before his injury...he'll fit right in upon his return.

Gary Roberts has had a lot of time to contemplate just how he's going to make his voice heard when he gets back. I expect to see two halves of the same person from the opposing team laying on the ice in the playoffs.

And Gary Roberts skating away with a smile.

Robert Ullman Rules

...Hey, baby (x3).

Robert Ullman rules (kinda NSFW).

Props to Ape for bringing these to my attention.

And Pensblog brought you the bottom one yesterday. I actually found these over the weekend, if you wanna believe that.

That win last night was huge.

Go Pens.

Attention Pensblog Readers

PSaMP is not...I repeat, NOT, the site that's going to help you get tickets to the Winter Classic.

Figured I'd make that easy for you.

However, Pensblog has been a solid friend of PSaMP. Here's some entertaining stuff they wrote for PSaMP a while back, if you're interested.

- PSaMP's Halfie Birthday Extravaganza: The Pensblog
- Mini Pony of the Day 9-25-07 [The Pensblog]

PSaMP Had A Father

In honor of the best blog post of all time, I decided to track down my original attempt at a website. This was many, many moons ago, so please be nice.

http://wickedawesome.20m.com/

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was totally wrong. I can't believe I actually found it.

I suck.

ESPN Sucks At Covering Hockey

Strugglin'.

Espn.com has had its share of realtime stats troubles, but this is just getting ridiculous.

Here is a screenshot from 9:51 P.M. on Friday night ( my life is mucho exciting), roughly 20+ minutes after the completion of the Pens/Canes game. According to Espn.com, only 2 minutes and 6 seconds has gone by in the game, and the puck currently sits in the crowd. As you can see through my MS Painting (click on the picture for a bigger, clearer view), I'm concerned as to why the crowd won't give the puck back. I've also highlighted the actual time of night, which drastically conflicts with Espn's take on the game.

I know tWWL is trying to kill hockey, but this is just ridiculous. And no, I wasn't relying on the big E for game coverage. I watched it with my eyes on the godsend that is FSN Pittsburgh. I only came across this tidbit through the comments section of Pensblog. If you click on the pic, you can see that I've got Pensblog opened as well.

We don't need no steenking Espn hockey coverage. Give me FSN Pittsburgh and Pensblog all night.

P.S. Ducks are going down tomorrow.

Best. Penguins. Preview. Ever.

Don't care who you are, Wallace and Gromit will kick your ass.

Back to the point, Pensblog absolutely dominated their Penguins season preview. I nearly cried.

Even if you don't read Pensblog (and if you don't, you suck), any season preview means the season is about to start. I'm expecting big things from Sid and Co. this season. Every hockey "expert" can go eat me with their New York Ranger-bandwagon-jump-on-ing (sorry, that was the best I could do). Ooooh...they got Chris Drury, they should be the favorite to win the East. Bullshit. Last I checked, we still have the reigning league MVP (and Gary Roberts...and Georges Laraque). Sure, Drury makes the Rangers better, but its sick how the "experts' are already foaming at the mouth over New York.

Last I checked, they had the bottom-rung Staal brother. Pens have Jordan "Upped My Cred By Getting Arrested" Staal. End of argument.

Those of you who haven't been around these parts since PSaMP was founded (all of you) don't know that the Penguins were the muse for this blog. PSaMP was born out of my overflowing emotions as the team announced that they wouldn't be leaving Pittsburgh. That caused me to create this blog and write the first (shitty) post. And during those formative times, all I covered was the Pens. Pirates season hadn't started, the Steelers were a distant memory, and the massive strides made by Sid and Co. filled my every thought.

Now, with the '07-'08 season about to start, all I can do is bow to Pensblog for giving such an amazing preview. Well done.

Oh God, its time.

PSaMP's Halfie Birthday Extravaganza: The Pensblog

(To commemorate the 6 month anniversary of PSaMP, I invited some of my favorite bloggers to take over PSaMP for a week. I'm calling it, PSaMP's Halfie Birthday Extravaganza. Well, its been extended to an obnoxiously long two week blogapalooza, per se. Several kickass local and national blogs agreed to share their feelings on Pittsburgh sports. Hopefully, some will also provide a Mini Pony of the Day. In my mind, it will rule. I hope you enjoy it. Tuesday's blog is The Pensblog. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you don't read Pensblog, you don't read anything good. This whole half birthday extravaganza has been purposefully obnoxious. Pensblog, though is here to shed some light on blogging for you non-bloggers (noggers, if I do say so), including why a 6 month anniversary rules. Tons of kind words from an awesome blog. I can now say that Pensblog has touched me. Take that however you want.)
-

We joined the blogging ranks in September 2006.

Just as we assumed when we heard the word "blog", a lot of people hear the word and immediately think of Jimmy Nerd clacking away at a keyboard, typing out some self-gratification and the meaningless minutiae of his daily life.

That misconception was justified when blogging was in its infancy, but it's not the case anymore.

The more and more blogs you find on the internet, the more you realize you are reading the writing of someone who is either passionate about a topic or knows a buttload about a topic.

There's blogs for celebrity gossip, cooking recipes, and video games.

Anyone with an inkling to write and something to write about can start a blog with the click of a button.

Coupled with a peeked interest in the topic, you'll be talking about a big-time blog.

A true case-in-point for this is the blog NHL Tournament of Logos; a blog that was started in early 2007 with an aim to bring all news and rumors surrounding the NHL's league-wide shift to new uniform designs during the summer of 2007.

The result: It became the one-stop shop for anyone wanting to know any information regarding the uniforms.The site achieved 1 million hits by mid-August.The author was featured in an interview on CBC Radio.

............................................................................

And now, easily the biggest genre of blogs on the internet are in relation to sports.

A specific sports team is a never-ending topic. You always have something to write about, nearly every day.

With our blog, we realized that we didn't want to just recycle news stories from major newspapers and media outlets.

We didn't want to read four paragraphs of analysis.

We'll go to a newspaper for that: The newspaper will even have quotes from athletes and the insight that only a beat writer covering the Penguins for 20 years can bring.

On the same token, we were tired of being talked down to by some blogs and columnists, making us feel like we need to baby-fed information on a topic that the said blog or columnists thinks he knows more about than anyone.

Our goal with this blog has never been to be funny.

We write things that make us laugh when we write it, and if it happens to make other people laugh, sweet.

We don't claim we know everything about the Penguins.

Saying you're a team's #1 fan is something that should've faded from your vocabulary by freshman year in high school.

But forming this blog has let us meet and talk to people who love the Penguins as much as we do.

.........................................

And this is where PSAMP comes in. Created on March 13, 2007, it has been entertaining us with unreal pictures of mini ponies and solid commentary.

Now, a lot of people will say, "Big deal. Six months ain't nothing."

But running a blog ain't no picnic. Many blogs have the shelf-life of a month. It takes time, a lot of work, and passion in order to do something that has no return benefits whatsoever. Some people just give up.

But not PSAMP. It has been consistent, refreshing, and always there. And really, how is it possible to find so many pictures of mini ponies?

As much as we are all trying to build our own websites up, without the whole blogging community thriving, everyone suffers.

Now, mind you, there are blogs we think suck. But that's with anything. People will come to our blog and immediately despise it for no reason.

All in all, PSAMP, we salute you. Your presence in the blogosphere makes us all better humans.

Congrats on the six-month, and we'll see you in March for the one-year.

- The Pensblog

Wait. Did I Say That?

Ever wonder what a sports symposium consisting of several Pittsburgh sportsbloggers would sound like?

Sure, you may not have thought of the idea, but the good guys at Doubt About It certainly have.

In a highly entertaining post, DAI examines how a Sports Reporters-esque roundtable discussion between some of their favorite local bloggers would go down. I must say, I feel much flatter knowing that PSaMP was included as a mock guest.

The end result is Ode to Pittsburgh Sports Blogs: A Symposium.

The guys hit the nail on the head by mimicking/mocking/imitating the styles of PSaMP, ThePensBlog and Mondesi's House. What you're left with is well-done parody discussion that is well worth your read.

Maybe next time, we'll do it for real.