I Am Not That Compatible With Missy Peregrym

I came across this bullshit website called CelebMatch by doing a simple Google search for Yancey Thigpen. Because that's what I do. I Google Yancey Thigpen like its my job.

The site shows your physical, emotional, intellectual and total compatibility with desired celebrity by simply entering your birthday. The internet is wonderful.

After looking for several celebs, I decided to search for Big Ben's fling, Missy Peregrym. If I was compatible enough, I would swoop in to make my move.

I am not compatible enough.

Physical - 46%
Emotional - 78%
Intellectual - 98% (Word!)
Total - 74%

Less than 50% physical compatibility? What the hell? She's hot. I'm...decent. But I guess our brains got in the way of our bodies.

Now, back to Yancey. Since I found this site through his name (for whatever reasons), I figured to see what's up between me and Yancey.

Physical - 92%
Emotional - 33%
Intellectual - 100%
Total - 75%

Obviously, me and Yancey are made for each other, save for the emotional baggage that would come with the tryst. However, we could talk about some stuff, or just fall back on our near-perfect physical attraction.

How the hell am I 1% more compatible with Yancey Thigpen than I am with Missy Peregrym? And all this noise came to fruition because I entered my birthday. I guess people born in mid-August are more likely to dig black male athletes rather than hot female actresses. Weird.

In case you were wondering, my best matches included:

Kim Smith - 98% (Hot!!)
Mischa Barton - 98% (Hot as well!!)
Priyanka Chopra - 98% (?? but extremely hot!!)
Ellen Page - 97% (Hotter than Yancey Thigpen)
Rachel Nichols - 97% (ESPN hot)

Sorry Yancey. I'ma go hit up Priyanka Chopra instead.