Jordan Staal Is A Golfer

(h/t to Bleacher Report and Net News Ledger)

Following the Happy Gilmore standard for getting people interested in golf, the Freedom 55 Financial Thunder Bay Hockey Celebrity Golf Classic, held this past weekend, used hockey players as a means of upping the cred of the tournament. My only question, why didn't the tournament invite Chris Simon? They missed a golden opportunity, what with "most time spent in the penalty box" and "taking off a skate and trying to stab someone."

Pittsburgh's own Jordan Staal, seen on the far left, was present at the tournament. This picture signifies a change in PSaMP, where I can only give you grainy pictures where you can barely make out the subject. Stay tuned next week, when I find the world's first camera phone and use it to take you inside the Pirates' locker room.

Jordan's brothers Eric and Marc played in the event, as did NHLers Mike Richards, Alex Auld, Patrick Sharp and Taylor Pyatt. The golfers bid at the beginning of the day on which athlete they wanted golfing in their group. Eric went first, with a bid of $1,500. Whore. Well, in the best sense of the term "whore." The tourney has raised over $50 grand over the past two years for cancer research. Cancer in Thunder Bay is about to be murdered, thanks to time donated by the classy NHLers.

Trevor Letowski was also there. Good thing the organizers didn't invite Colby Armstrong.

My only question, did Jordan use the NHL's hockey stick putter? Since Jordan's still a year away from contract negotiations, I'm gonna guess the $115.00 asking price might be a bit too steep.

Penguins Halloween

Ever wonder what your favorite Penguins stars are being for Halloween? Turns out everyone is dressing up as...Colby Armstrong.

If you need a last-minute costume idea, you can't go wrong with a Pens jersey, some white face and a witch nose/beak.

And EC as Urkel? I can totally see that for some reason. And best part is Talbot saying he's going as Colby, then the camera panning to Army...who is sitting right next to Max. Priceless.

Pens Avoid Arbitration with Armstrong's Beak-Nose

Winger Colby Armstrong showed the team he could levitate. The Pens rewarded him with a 2-year deal, successfully avoiding arbitration with all restricted free agents.

The Pens needed to keep him because his nose looks like a beak...so now they can probably get rid of Iceburgh, and just use Armstrong as the team mascot.

Armstrong started this past season on a rather slow note, but picked up the scoring as the season wore on. Its important to know that Armstrong was one of the first teammates that Sid felt comfortable with in his rookie season, so there was no reason to break up that kind of chemistry.

Colby brings the type of physical play that Gary Roberts would be proud of. Don't believe me? Check out his hit on Trevor Letowski. Call it dirty...call it clean. I don't care. Colby hits people in the mouth, and now he's getting $1.2 large ones a year to do it. I would destroy Trevor Letowski for that kind of bank.

The Post-Gazette brings up an intriguing stat. Colby had 12 goals and 22 assists for 34 points this past year. Armstrong...

...scored each of his 12 goals when the game was tied or the Penguins were trailing.

I'd say worth $1.2 bills a year.

Pens Re-Sign Christensen's Faux-Hawk: UPDATED

After re-signing center Maxime Talbot to what appears to be a two-year deal, the Pens agreed to terms with forward Erik Christensen, successfully avoiding arbitration with two restricted free agent priorities.

Christensen's faux-hawk, a promising young forward, reached a deal that is worth $750k for each of the two years.

He tied the league lead with 8 shootout goals. His 8 for 14 (51.7%) mark upped his career totals to 9 of 15 (60%) in the shootout, which is the best mark in team history. He had 33 points (18 goals, 15 assists) last season.

This leaves Colby Armstrong's beak-nose as the only restricted free agent from last year's squad who is still unsigned. Tim Brent and Ryan Lannon, two guys who have done most of their damage in the minors, also remain on the market.

UPDATE: Colby Armstrong has elected to go to arbitration. The Pens' 2001 first-rounder felt the right deal wasn't in place, so arbitration is the case. Craig Oster, Armstrong's agent, says things with the team aren't ugly, just not productive. The hearing won't be until August, so the sides will still be in contact until then.

Pens Ink Talbot

With the Crosby talks on the imminent horizon, the Pens signed another Pat Brisson-represented center, coming to terms with Maxime Talbot.

The length is not known, but Talbot will receive $650k this season. Pens fans are assured of more Talbot partay-ing in the coming months/years.

With Ryan Whitney signing his 6 year/$24 mil deal and Crosby talks expected soon, Talbot was signed at a bargain. Maybe he can catch up in the dough department with a win at the World Series of Poker.

Talbot's deal helped the Pens avoid an arbitration hearing. Only Colby Armstrong, Erik Christensen, Tim Brent and Ryan Lannon need to be signed by 5 P.M. tonight to avoid arbitration as well.

100th Post! Awesome.

And the 100th post is about...the Pens. Come on, with game 4 tonight and the Pens looking at a 2-1 series deficit, what else could consume my attention? Also, since I'm graduating from college in a couple weeks, I need to get my mind off of the tragedy at Virgina Tech yesterday. Seriously, all prayers and thoughts go to the entire Hokie nation.

With that being said, its time to look at what the Pens need to do differently in game 4 (uh...everything?), in order to have a fighting chance against Daniel "I'm going to outshoot the Pens in this series" Alfredsson and Company.

The shooting is a big problem. Although Geno has 4 assists in only 3 career playoff games, he has been nearly nonexistant. 8 needless penalty minutes in the series will do that to a player. If he doesn't snap out of this shooting slump, there might be problems in Penguins-land. Sidney Crosby needs to pull the trigger more as well. Actually, all of the Pens need to start firing the biscuit. How many times has just putting the puck on net helped the team? Isn't this one of the reasons that we picked up Gary Roberts? Haven't both of his goals in the series come while cleaning up in front of the net? And what about redirects ? Even unintentional redirects will find the back of the net. Ryan Whitney's goal in game 2 hit a Ottawa leg before going in.

But back to Sid. I know he's already got a goal in each game and he's a great passer, but he is passing up way too many scoring opportunities by trying to feed his teammates with better shots. I can't count how many times during this series, as well as the final 2 weeks of the season, in which Sid was streaking down the right wing with a teammate to his left, and he opted to pass to the teammate rather than shoot (for which he still had a good angle). Many of these passes were intercepted or blocked by the opposition, so the Pens got no shot rather than a clean look. Its a best of 7 series, and any smart team would put a lot of time into learning the tendencies of a superstar like Sid. Eventually, they are going to figure out that Crosby looks to pass first when he's coming down the right wing with a teammate to his left, and blocking these passes become an easier task. If Crosby puts the puck on net rather than passing to the guy to his left, he can set up a perfect rebound just as easily as he can fire a perfect pass. All I'm saying is mix it up, Sid. What's the harm in putting the puck on net? There's 3 outcomes.

1. Save
2. Goal
3. Rebound

Plus, more shots equals a greater chance of numbers 2 and 3 happening. The Pens have been outshot 99-66, so its not hard to see the biggest reason we're down 2-1. Actually, the Pens are fortunate to have 1 game. A few different bounces in game 2, and we're down 3-zip. Good article here regarding the "must-win" status of tonight's game, by Penguins playoff-beard wearer, Larry Brown.

I think Laraque needs to play game 4. He seemed kinda frustrated with not being in the lineup for games 2 and 3. I read an article yesterday, but can't seem to find it again, where Laraque basically said, "I'm not going to talk about it now," in response to his benching for games 2 and 3. If I was Laraque, I'd be upset, too. The Senators have been much more physical than the Pens, and its come down to Sid, Max Talbot, Gary Roberts and Colby Armstrong to provide the physical plays to boost the team. Now each guy can hold their own, but no player on this list is Georges Laraque. And now with a huge bullseye on Colby Armstrong (that was a legitimate hit, though), Big Georges needs to be in uniform for game 4.

The game starts at 7. My predicted score for game 3 was right, but the Pens scored the 2 rather than the 4. Tonight, I think the Pens will (must) win, by a score of 3-2. I know, I'm boring. I always pick the Pens to win. However, tonight can be (needs to be) the Penguins night, because a 3-1 hole might be impossible to climb out of. Plus, LBS will have to shave his playoff beard, which is just starting to come in nicely.