Jordan Staal Is A Golfer

(h/t to Bleacher Report and Net News Ledger)

Following the Happy Gilmore standard for getting people interested in golf, the Freedom 55 Financial Thunder Bay Hockey Celebrity Golf Classic, held this past weekend, used hockey players as a means of upping the cred of the tournament. My only question, why didn't the tournament invite Chris Simon? They missed a golden opportunity, what with "most time spent in the penalty box" and "taking off a skate and trying to stab someone."

Pittsburgh's own Jordan Staal, seen on the far left, was present at the tournament. This picture signifies a change in PSaMP, where I can only give you grainy pictures where you can barely make out the subject. Stay tuned next week, when I find the world's first camera phone and use it to take you inside the Pirates' locker room.

Jordan's brothers Eric and Marc played in the event, as did NHLers Mike Richards, Alex Auld, Patrick Sharp and Taylor Pyatt. The golfers bid at the beginning of the day on which athlete they wanted golfing in their group. Eric went first, with a bid of $1,500. Whore. Well, in the best sense of the term "whore." The tourney has raised over $50 grand over the past two years for cancer research. Cancer in Thunder Bay is about to be murdered, thanks to time donated by the classy NHLers.

Trevor Letowski was also there. Good thing the organizers didn't invite Colby Armstrong.

My only question, did Jordan use the NHL's hockey stick putter? Since Jordan's still a year away from contract negotiations, I'm gonna guess the $115.00 asking price might be a bit too steep.

Jordan Staal's Mug

Since we're on the topic on sports and mug shots, here's underage drinker Jordan Staal's booking photo from his wild bachelor party experience in...Minnesota?

According to a Cook County Sheriff's Office news release, that office began receiving complaints of "screaming, yelling and playing loud music" around 12:30 a.m. because of the party at the Lutsen Resort and Sea Villas. Sheriff's deputies issued multiple warnings to be quiet, under threat the group of about 20 might be "removed from the property, issued citations, arrested and/or deported from the country."

Had Jordan Staal been deported, I would've lost it. That would be tooo funny, being deported for a bachelor party. That would be a bragging point.

Apparently, Jordan and his broter, Eric, were sleeping while the party was still going on. They were all kicked out around 3 A.M.

The group then began "harassing passing motorists," and were promptly arrested. Several dudes fled into the woods. Jordan Staal didn't

He was released shortly after booking. His brother Eric, the bachelor in question, was held overnight.

Never a dull moment with those crazy Canadians.

BREAKING NEWS: Jordan Staal Arrested

Shortly after I remark how slow the sports day has been, Jordan Staal goes and gets himself arrested.

Eric Staal was also arrested in a busted bachelor party. It was for Eric. They were among 14 dudes arrested for disorderly conduct and obstruction of the legal process.

Jordan, who is still 18, was cited for underage drinking.

More on this tomorrow.