Jordan Staal Is A Golfer

(h/t to Bleacher Report and Net News Ledger)

Following the Happy Gilmore standard for getting people interested in golf, the Freedom 55 Financial Thunder Bay Hockey Celebrity Golf Classic, held this past weekend, used hockey players as a means of upping the cred of the tournament. My only question, why didn't the tournament invite Chris Simon? They missed a golden opportunity, what with "most time spent in the penalty box" and "taking off a skate and trying to stab someone."

Pittsburgh's own Jordan Staal, seen on the far left, was present at the tournament. This picture signifies a change in PSaMP, where I can only give you grainy pictures where you can barely make out the subject. Stay tuned next week, when I find the world's first camera phone and use it to take you inside the Pirates' locker room.

Jordan's brothers Eric and Marc played in the event, as did NHLers Mike Richards, Alex Auld, Patrick Sharp and Taylor Pyatt. The golfers bid at the beginning of the day on which athlete they wanted golfing in their group. Eric went first, with a bid of $1,500. Whore. Well, in the best sense of the term "whore." The tourney has raised over $50 grand over the past two years for cancer research. Cancer in Thunder Bay is about to be murdered, thanks to time donated by the classy NHLers.

Trevor Letowski was also there. Good thing the organizers didn't invite Colby Armstrong.

My only question, did Jordan use the NHL's hockey stick putter? Since Jordan's still a year away from contract negotiations, I'm gonna guess the $115.00 asking price might be a bit too steep.

Pens Avoid Arbitration with Armstrong's Beak-Nose

Winger Colby Armstrong showed the team he could levitate. The Pens rewarded him with a 2-year deal, successfully avoiding arbitration with all restricted free agents.

The Pens needed to keep him because his nose looks like a beak...so now they can probably get rid of Iceburgh, and just use Armstrong as the team mascot.

Armstrong started this past season on a rather slow note, but picked up the scoring as the season wore on. Its important to know that Armstrong was one of the first teammates that Sid felt comfortable with in his rookie season, so there was no reason to break up that kind of chemistry.

Colby brings the type of physical play that Gary Roberts would be proud of. Don't believe me? Check out his hit on Trevor Letowski. Call it dirty...call it clean. I don't care. Colby hits people in the mouth, and now he's getting $1.2 large ones a year to do it. I would destroy Trevor Letowski for that kind of bank.

The Post-Gazette brings up an intriguing stat. Colby had 12 goals and 22 assists for 34 points this past year. Armstrong...

...scored each of his 12 goals when the game was tied or the Penguins were trailing.

I'd say worth $1.2 bills a year.