Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!

Just wanted to say that again. I woke up this morning to find out that the absolute elation of a Super Bowl-winning touchdown drive in the closing seconds was no dream. Big Ben was good Big Ben in those final minutes, and Santonio came up huge, seemingly making all the tough catches look easy.

A lot of people are complaining about the lack of replay on that final Warner fumble. Sure, it could've been reviewed, but I still don't think the outcome would've changed. Since there was no replay, the aggravated fans who didn't have a team in the Super Bowl are all ripe for trying to discount our win. "Ooooh, Arizona would've gotten the ball at the 30 and Warner would complete a jump ball to Larry Fitzgerald and all would be right in the world. Screw Steelers fans. The refs give them everything!" Shut up.

Your speculation doesn't change the outcome. Fans are almost getting to the point where they want replay after every snap, it seems like. Fumble?!?!?!?!? NO, IT CAN'T BE!?!?!?! CHECK THAT SHIT AGAIN!!!! The rule on the field was a fumble, and there was nothing to show that it was a forward pass. Inconclusive evidence? Nope. If it was an incomplete pass, why wasn't Warner pleading that he was throwing the ball like he did on a similar play earlier in the game? I'd almost expect more outta Warner in that situation. But you know why he didn't? Because he knew he fumbled.

So quit over-analyzing just to piss off a bunch of happy fans. Your team didn't make it, so quit trying to bring us down with your meandering bullshit.

Now, I just spent the entire beginning of a SUPER BOWL RECAP IN WHICH MY TEAM WON discussing how obnoxious other fans can be. The Cardinals, Whis and the staff were all respectful after the game, focusing on their positives and how they can improve their team in the future. Warner wasn't running after the officials, screaming for Goodell to fine him. These idiots fans are doing the same thing Baltimore fans did after the Santonio "was-he-over-the-line" touchdown in the regular season. How about, don't surrender the lead on an 80+ yard drive in the closing seconds. The Cards, just like the Ravens, let that happen, and one non-replay doesn't change the outcome.

But now that that's outta the way, how about our team? Mike Tomlin, as improbable as it may have seemed, won a Super Bowl in his second year, easily eclipsing the time lengths set forth by legends Noll and Cowher. Ben has two rings, and must be applauded for leading a run-first team to multiple Super Bowls in which a WR wins MVP. Someone needs to throw to those wideouts, so Ben should take some sort of pride in being a part or two MVP performances in the past 3 years (4 seasons).

The run game didn't hit like we wanted, but that's a non-story if you hoist a trophy after the game. In my mind, the game was perfect in all aspects. If I was giving ratings like I do during the regular season, every facet of this team would get 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Sure, I wanted to punch Chris Kemoeatu if he false-started or held one more time, but since he just won a ring, I'll echo Big Ben and say "Who's laughing now, O-Line?"

Enough can't be said about James Harrison and the defense he leads. Much was made about all the other regular-season-award-winners bowing out of the playoffs early. Manning was MVP, Ryan was RotY, and both exited early. Brees was offensive player of the year and didn't even make the playoffs. James Harrison was the top defensive player in the league, and made the longest play, defensive OR offensive, in Super Bowl history. Backed up to his own goal line, Harrison potentially created a 14 point swing with his 100 yard INT return TD. People aren't lying when they say defense wins championships.

There's way too many people I'm forgetting, but you know the facts. There were no truly weak performances last night, and the end-result was the best we could've hoped for. Every negative from the preseason was addressed throughout these grueling past 5 months, from the O-Line, to Ben's decision-making, to the schedule and Mike Tomlin's justification.

At the end of the day, an inconclusive non-replay won't take away our record 6th Lombardi Trophy, one that was earned, not given, on a legendary, game-winning drive. Party hard and burn another couch, Pittsburgh fans.

Hope you're proud, Myron.

ON METH

Remember when I said Pick-6 was my tagline for the drive for 6 Lombardi Trophies?

Silverback is doing everything he can to make it happen!

Go Steelers! Not a bad first half.

Video of the amazing play is below.

James Harrison > You

Remember when James Harrison used to be number 42? As in, before he was cut by the team and signed to the practice squad in 2002?

I only post this because my buddy Bob and I love the numbers 14 and 42 for some reason. Makes us giggle. They're just fun numbers to say.

Pre-Silverback is plotting his eventual conquest of the DMVP award.

China Toasts the 2008 NFL Season

Last month, we found a video of 3,000 Chinese people cheering for the Steelers in unison and posted it to the site. It was one of those things that boggles the mind, and something you don't really expect to see.

Well, I got in touch with the guy who led the cheer, a guy named Gavin, who is teaching English in China until sometime in June. Those were his students supporting Pittsburgh. He keeps a pretty badass blog of his time and experiences in the country, but its private, so there's no use linking to it.

Anyway, Gavin assured me that he's a legit Steelers fan, and promised to send along at least another video from China. That video is above. It is of a Chinese man named Jack toasting the 2008 NFL season. Because why wouldn't he?

I'm not gonna re-type everything he says, but he does give props to guys like Aaron Rodgers and Matt Ryan, teams like the Eagles and Cowboys, and especially the Steelers. Here's what he had to say about our team:

"To James Harrison, for playing like an animal. To the Steelers, for battling through injuries and the league's hardest schedule."

Actually, it was more of "hardest skey-jer." And they say Pittsburghers have accents. Really dude, we don't have a league called the NFAir.

Still, China is pretty much the other side of the world, so I'm impressed that Jack got it right for the most part.

James Harrison = AP Defensive Player of the Year

Congrats to James Harrison, who was just voted as AP Defensive Player of the Year. He beat DeMarcus Ware and Ed Reed, who were the closest competitors. Troy Polamalu got a few consolation votes.

Silverback ended the year with this line. 101 tackles, 16 sacks, 7 forced fumbles and an interception. In 15 games.

Add a shotgun to the mix, and that fern stands no chance.

Normally, when a player gets a weekly award, I'll MSPaint them with a chickadee or two. Since this is a massive award, you get Silverback with guns.

Congrats, James!

Time For People To Bitch About Steelers Pro Bowl Snubs

Pro Bowl results came out yesterday, and the Steelers will be represented by 3 players. Jameses Harrison and Farrior will accompany Troy Polamalu to Hawaii to wear Steelers helmets with vomit-inducing jerseys in early February.

Ed Bouchette, Steelers writer for the Post Gazette, seemed a little pissed that the team only has 3 representatives. I mean, this IS the league's best defense, right? And the team in the hunt for the top seed in the tough AFC?

Here's Bouchette:


The team with the second-best record in the AFC and with the league's best defense placed just three players for the Pro Bowl. Free safety Troy Polamalu and linebacker James Harrison will start, and linebacker James Farrior is a reserve.

If that does not rile up the 11-3 AFC North Division champs, there's more. The New York Jets placed a league-high seven players on the AFC team, the Tennessee Titans have six and the Baltimore Ravens, who lost to the Steelers twice, have five.


To which I say...who cares how many representatives are on other teams? Who cares that the Steelers only have 3 guys going to Hawaii (likely more once every big name player pulls out with an undisclosed injury)?

Doesn't this speak more to the Steelers being a team rather than a collection of individuals? Our team isn't just a handful of stars with no depth. Go down the Steelers depth chart, and a high percentage of those guys have made plays this year.

And they've had to, because of injury! Casey Hampton and Brett Keisel have missed games. Aaron Smith is having arguably his best year, but he's a no-name. Ben's thrown his share of interceptions, and Willie's been trying to contribute whenever he can get on the field.

Look, I understand that good teams have good players, and those good players should be rewarded. Hell, I wouldn't mind seeing every Steeler starting at every position on the AFC Pro Bowl squad. Seriously, Pittsburgh versus the best the NFC has to offer, only we get to wear our regular Steelers unis rather than those awful get-ups they're supposed to wear. But it ain't gonna happen.

I'll take our 11-3 record, AFC North division title and the shot at home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. Pro Bowl snubs SHOULD NOT motivate this team.

Because the Pro Bowl IS MEANINGLESS. So chill out for a sec, Ed.

Steelers Have 3 Pro Bowlers

The NFL announced the Pro Bowl rosters today. Your Pittsburgh Steelers have 3 representatives, all on the defensive side. They are:

James Harrison
James Farrior
Troy Polamalu

Harrison and Polamalu are starters. Farrior is a reserve. Each of these guys deserves strong consideration for NFL Defensive MVP.

In random news, Polamalu will be backed up by his former partner, Chris Hope.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

I woulda got this to you a little sooner, but T.O. affected my timing with multiple, uncalled, hands-to-the-face infractions.

We won! Gatorade baths for everyone! 20-13 Steelers. But isn't that always the score? Or like, 23-10...or somewhere around there?

I'm a chronic nail-biter, but last game did me no favors in trying to stop my fixation. I have about no nails left. Actually, I think I have negative nails at this point. I owe my fingers some nails. Thanks, Cowboys-Steelers!

At some point, I'm gonna have to stop saying "We let the other team hang around too long...it's going to bite us in the ass at some point." I really do, because these Steelers have a habit of coming through games like this relatively unscathed. Yeah, the Cowboys moved the ball in the 3rd, but that was with the aid of the wind. I tried to keep my composure, knowing that any rally would have to come in the 4th, when WE had the wind. And that's why I'll start my ratings off with...

...Mike Tomlin. Man, I love how this guy constantly employs my Madden strategy, and ALWAYS defers to the Second Half when he wins the coin toss. In a place like Heinz Field, this is critical. Perhaps not so much when we're in Baltimore next week, or Tennessee the week after, but this seemingly unimportant decision looms large when you play a minimum of 8 games next to the Confluence. I can't fault Tomlin for the Cowboys making big defensive plays near the goal line...their team was on a mission (being on the outside of the playoffs will do that to some teams), and Tomlin stayed the course. He played the wind/field position game perfectly, and his playmakers stepped up to the challenge. The Steelers DID miss near the goal line, so I can't give Tomlin a perfect score, so we'll go with 4.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Sasso. His game was all-around meh, but Ben understood the urgency of the situation in the 4th, and brought his team back in it like he has many times before. Another near 50% completion game, with one passing TD to go with a lost fumble and 204 passing yards. No interceptions in the wind, so there's that. And that 40+ yarder to Santonio was perfect, even though it was into the wind. Ben didn't lose the game for us, which can't be said about Romo. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Ben. That First Half was tough to watch.

D. We got outworked by Dallas on many occasions. Their O clicked in the 3rd (partly due to the wind), and Tashard Choice displayed his talents against the top ranked defense. But the D didn't cave when Dallas was moving, and refused to be completely outplayed by the 'Boys. Silverback looked tired by the end of the game, but still got his usual sack and forced fumble. It's pretty cool when I'm pretty indifferent about 9 tackles, a sack and a forced fumble. Overall, the unit had 3 sacks to go with 3 picks and 5 total turnovers. Dallas' last play on 4th Down was huge, as they had 289 total team yards, and a conversion would've likely ended the streak of not allowing a 300 yard game this season. Big stop to keep the win and streak alive. They'll mirror Tomlin here, and get 4.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Deshea. He gets his own spot today because he quietly does his job with little problem and is always solid on the field. He rung up 3 tackles, but its nice to see a 65 year old vet like Deshea factor into the winning points. Romo served him up an easy pick, and he outraced a hobbled Jason Witten to the end zone. Deshea, you get a perfect 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the icing on the cake.

Mitch Berger. Negative 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. I may owe myself some fingernails, but you owe me a bunch of motorcycle helmet ratings.

In Baltimore next week. The Ravens D is looking just as good as ours. Glad we got a 1-game lead going into this.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

Well that was pretty damn satisfying. There have been few times over the past 6-7 seasons where we could go into Foxboro and lay down 30 unanswered points in a beautiful 33-10 win. So lets bask in this one for a second before turning our attention to Dallas.

I've seen us begin games on a better note, but we haven't finished a game like that in quite some time. Usually, we let the other team hang in for much of the game, either to win/lose a close one or to pile on with garbage points in the 4th. This time, we took over the 3rd Quarter, strangling any possible hope of a New England comeback. This is what aids a deep playoff run...the ability to put good teams away. Not that bullshit we've been doing for 11 games prior.

So enjoy it, Steelers fans. We took down the Patriots on their home field. We'll go through the usual ratings before immediately switching gears to the Cowboys.

Sasso the Giant. Ow, that early interception was rough. And it was the perfect way to show just what our defense is capable of. Ben makes an early mistake, spotting the opposition a short field and eventually, a 7 point lead. They get 3 more the ENTIRE GAME! Alright, this is reading like too much of a rating for the D, so remember that Ben completed 50% of his passes for 179 yards, 2 scores and a pick. The weather was bad, so I'll forgive the 5.4 yards per completion. Not a fantastic game, but Sasso did make it count when needed. I'm on the fence between 3.5 and 4...I don't want to give too high a rating for a game that could've used less mistakes, si I'll give him 3.75 of 5 helmets. On the positive side of 3.75.

RBs. Most of Willie's 87 yards came against an already-worn down Patriots defense...but isn't that the idea? How many teams can trot out a rested, franchise back with 15 minutes to play? Sure, Willie got a few carries early, but Mewelde had the better step. Willie racked up some garbage time yards...which should be scary to our final 4 opponents. No one put up any gaudy numbers on the ground, but both Willie and Mewelde finished with just around a 5.5 yard per carry average. I'll take that. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets despite no touchdowns.

D. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. See my description in Ben's space for more in-depth analysis.

These last three guys get their own spots:

Timmons. It's taken Lawrence a while to transition from the minors to the bigs (per se), but he's really coming on strong. 5 tackles and an amazing INT return down to the goal line. I'll consider it a touchdown, man. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Troy. Jeez, I had to bring up the fact that Troy might start stealing NFL Defensive Player of the Year votes away from Silverback. If he could shake off the Ike Taylor syndrome of dropping easy picks, he'd be in the double digits by this point. He equaled Timmons' tackles and gave the fans the usual "Let's-smile-because-Troy's-returning-a-pick" routine. Honestly, the dude is so fun to watch. Another 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. He's leading the league in picks.

Silverback. After the half, I said "time for the pass rush." To be honest, it was acceptable in the first half, but not to the point that I'm accustomed to. Harrison personally made sure to exert his team's will on Matt Cassel and the Patriots. The dude rocked out 7 solo tackles within his 10 total, and stripped Matt Cassel on 2 sacks. NFL Defensive MVP. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Time to do the exact same thing next week with the Cowboys. The Patriots win is history.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

NFL Network sucks.

I've been sick this week, so I wasn't about to head to a bar and kill my immune system even more. So I got stuck with like 6 awful live feeds on my computer. One had no sound, one would only show the NFL Network analysts, one was just a video camera aimed at a shitty t.v. and one had a decent stream that would freeze every now and then.

But the Steelers won, 27-10, so all is well!

The game almost mirrored the first meeting, whereas we dominated Cincy, only to have them within a score of taking the lead in the second half. However, we did what we needed to do, and escaped the cold relatively healthy with a record of 8-3.

So let's see how it all went down.

Sasso. 17 of 30 for 243 and 2 touchdowns (one passing, one rushing). Solid numbers, which look so much better with no turnovers. Yet Sasso had at least 3 errant passes that hit Cincy defenders right in the hands. I don't know if it was a solid win, or a lucky outcome, because any one of those dropped picks could've changed the game. Yeah, Sasso had a good game, but you think I'm gonna go easy on him and pretend everything is cool? We'll say 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets, only because anything in the threes would be too low, and hi feet got a few critical 1st downs. Keep making smart decisions, man.

WRs. Not a bad game all around. The ball was distributed nicely (Receptions: Santonio - 5, Miller - 4, Moore - 4, Sweed - 2, Ward - 1), and even though they weren't all to WRs, Heath and Mewelde showed some hands. Plus, a huge 40+ yard reception by Hines was negated by a Nate Washington penalty. This was Santonio's third or fourth okay game, where he came in somewhere between 80-100 yards. I'm still waiting for that 120 yard, 1 TD game from him, but I'll take 84 in a win. I'll be repetitive and give another 4 of 5 helmets.

D. There was some good and some bad from the D last night. Willie Gay obviously smoked some of James Harrison's meth last night, as dude was playing out of his skull. Troy had another pick and subsequent laugh-out-loud return. Woodley got another sack, and we held the Bengals to 208 yards of total offense. But where was Silverback and the vaunted pass rush? Woodley's sack was the only one of the night, against a shitty line with like 30 rookies on it. I'm starting to believe in this "Steelers get held on every play" argument. There were a few times when I was about to throw Easy Mac at the computer, because Harrison was completely flattened and taken down to the ground. No call. If the officiating was more consistent, the guys would get a perfect 5 of 5 helmets, but with only one sack, I'll give 'em 4 of 5. Fine me, Goodell.

Jeff Reed. Kicking a 38 yarder in the snow is no joke. Both of his FGs were true as hell. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Ernster. 0 of 5 helmets.

Massive break until we travel to Foxboro to take on the Patriots NEXT Sunday. Rest up, guys.

James Harrison = AFC Defensive Player of the Week

Props to James Harrison, as he was just voted AFC Defensive Player of the Week.

It's hard to believe that it's his first time winning the award this year. LaMarr won in twice, in Weeks 1 and 7 (which I missed), and Troy won once in Week 2. Hopefully, this increases James' chances of winning Defensive MVP.

His stat line from the game...4 tackles (2 of 'em solo), one sack and forced fumble in the endzone, the tackle that resulted in the safety, an interception and 33 INT return yards. In other words, a typical game for Silverback. The sack/safety combination netted 2 points, and the interception set up a Jeff Reed FG. I'd venture to say that the award was rightfully given to Harrison, especially when he accounts for 5 of his team's 11 points in a 1-point win. And remember that he plays DEfense.

Congrats, Jimmy. Enjoy your ladies.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

It's getting tougher and tougher trying to put these games into words. We either play so bad that its impossible to write anything substantial, or we put together the most polarizing offense so that it mystifies the mind.

11-10 Steelers. Yeah, that about sums it up.

It was another day at the office for the league's top defense, but the O is what should've blown everyone's minds. We had a QB go for over 300 with no picks, a century WR and RB, but no touchdowns. I didn't even think that was possible before yesterday.

During that final, game-winning drive, I had to keep reminding myself that we were STILL LOSING! Ben was looking better than he had in weeks, the team was destroying San Diego in all meaningful categories, and somehow we weren't up in the scoreboard. Story of the season so far.

Were the numbers warranted, or did we get lucky on that final drive? How confident can you be in a team that is losing with less than a minute left in the game, but has the other team lapped in all stats. Or do we look at the comeback win as inspiration? Beats me.

Sasso the Giant. I was biting my fingernails when I saw that Sasso already had 25 pass attempts sometime in the third quarter. I knew he was on pace for the 40-some that he ended up throwing, which is enough to make any Steelers fan nervous. But Ben made some clutch, high percentage throws, which was reflected in his zero interceptions and 75% passing efficiency. 300+ yards is great, but he set up no offensive touchdowns, and basically let the D win the game. I can't shit on his game too much seeing that we won, but that doesn't mean I'm not perplexed. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Sasso.

Willie. Glad to have you back. Late in the game, I was pleased to see Arians giving the ball to Willie. Again. And again. One of the reasons we struggled offensively the first half of the years was because Willie wasn't on the field, which removes an entire dynamic from this offense. Still, he comes back and puts up nice numbers, but the offense still isn't in a rhythm. Hopefully, we remember how to put together complete drives now that Willie's back, and the offensive woes die off. 4.5 of 5 helmets. He's the only one that sniffed the endzone.

Hines. If the theme of this win was "PERPLEXING," then Hines embodies this entirely. Cool 125 receiving yards, but how many penalties did the guy have to take? Two rough holding calls and something else (can't remember what that third penalty was...somebody help me out) really starts to overshadow the yards. However, Hines stepped up after that third penalty, single-handedly making up all the yards lost on his way to making the first down. That's grit. But the penalties could've killed us. 3.5 of 5 helmets. I know you'll make up for it, Hines.

D. Aside from that early touchdown, I never believed the Chargers were going to score when they made it into Steelers territory. Like, the entire game. That's how well the D was playing. Pass rusher Woodley made a terrific play batting down a pass in coverage, Ike made a few, and Keisel got to the QB. And Silverback? He needs to be in Defensive Player of the Year discussions. Right away. A sack, safety AND interception. There's really no one that can stop him. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the D. And that's before I even mentioned Troy's amazing pick.

Jeff Reed. Sucks that the perfect season that Cotter and I predicted is gone, but he's killer late in the game. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Bengals like, tomorrow or something. Do we even get a rest?

Charge This

Carefully watch my bulge as I hurdle Tomlinson a la Silverback.

Go Steelers!

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

One of my biggest complaints about the Steelers is that we rarely finish teams off. Well...aside from Ben not rolling out of the pocket...and the O Line sucking...and Ben holding onto the ball too long...and...well, you get the point. Despite playing a better game than teams like last week's Giants, the Steelers allow the opposition to have a chance to get right back in it.

Not this week. 23 - 6 Steelers.

The defense more than accounted for an inadequate (and injured) Roethlisberger, and played the all-around game that we were hoping for last week. James Harrison, regularly playing on straight meth, must've given some to James Farrior, because dude was out of his mind.

And how good was it to have a guy like Willie Parker back?

Bah...don't let me spoil anything here. Wait for the rankings.

Ben. Outplayed by a 2-INT Campbell and Jacksonville and Atlanta castoff Byron Leftwich. Thanks for the sneak, but at what cost. Injuries suck, especially with the imminent schedule. Give it to your guys that are expecting to get hit. 2.75 of 5 helmets. 2.5 seemed too low, and I couldn't justify a 3.

Byron. Well that was refreshing. How, with the same O Line and Byron's 8 minute windup, did Leftwich appear to have more time to throw? Hell, big boy even rolled out a few times! Byron was an efficient asshole last night, only missing on 3 of 10 tosses with a TD somewhere in there.One helmet for every two seconds of that absurd windup. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Willie. As I said earlier, how nice was it to have him back? Notice how the offensive struggles happened in the 4 games that Parker missed. Having a guy like him on the field at all times really opens up the offense in ways we tried to dismiss. Big Ben needs Willie on the field more than he knows. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Willie for coming back from injury, outplaying Clinton Portis and reaching the endzone.

D. Who to laud? Farrior, for being a part of EVERY FREAKIN' PLAY? Wooderson, for a combined 4 sacks? Lawrence Timmons, ready to establish himself as an All-Pro (yeah, I said it)? Troy, playing for his newborn and knifing in to disrupt play after play? Deshea or T Carter's picks? That was just an amazing all-around performance. And don't think I didn't see your punt block, Andre Frazier. You get love, too. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. The 'Skins did nothing after the two gimme FGs early.

Jeff Reed. Yeah, you're still 100% on the year for FGs, but don't think I won't rip you a new one for the missed extra point. That's just weak. 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Berger. How are we trotting this guy out there? How have we not had a backup plan? 25 yard punts won't cut it. Not even taking the time to give an appropriate ranking.

Indy next week, kids. They're aren't the same team from years past, but they're still capable of giving it to us. See you then.

AND GO VOTE!

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

Despite the 38-10 win, I don't know if I agree with the use of the phrase "Steelers easily defeat Bengals." We were up 3 at half and the Bengals were within one score through 3 quarters. Without that 21-point 4th, we're looking at a headline along the lines of, "Steelers avoid letdown against Bengals."

Honestly, this bullshit is gonna catch up with us soon. We can't let inferior teams hang around with us even though we have the game dominated. The Bengals opened the game with 5 straight 3-and-outs. There's no reason that they should be within one score going into the final frame.

But on the bright side, the final frame happened. On paper, we have a 4-TD win going into a matchup with the Giants, who struggled with San Fran early. And really, if Byron Leftwich is in the game late, we're either way in front or way behind. And we were never behind yesterday.

So let's take a peek, shall we?

Ben. You know it's a good game when en doesn't really confuse you with his decisions. Sure, he tried to force a few throws, and his completion percentage wasn't pristine, but he took control of the middle of the field as well as the sidelines, and he went deep when it was given to him. However, defenses are going to catch on to the screens and passes to Mewelde in the flats real quick if you keep that up. 3.5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Mewelde. Jeez, at the beginning of the year, I didn't think Mewelde Moore would be analyzed so much in this spot. And most of it has been positive! How 'bout that? He didn't crack the century mark last game, something I was hoping he'd do, but he more than made up for it this week. What did he put up, like a buck twenty with 2 rushing scores and a TD catch? Who needs Willie Parker? 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets!

WRs. I couldn't break these guys up. Nate (more on him coming later today), continues to impress with his newfound hands, Hines made some tough catches, Limas Sweed finally started representing for the '08 draft class, and Santonio had a monster game despite being held under 100 yards. This was the first game this year that I actually felt comfortable with the Ben-to-Santonio element. With the running game clicking, the WR corps took advantage of the weaker secondary. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Wooderson. I'm gonna look like a biased jerk with the good grades this week, but that's what you get with a 28 point win. Wooderson didn't miss a step during the bye, either. Both had 2 sacks (giving Wooderson a 4-sack-game), and Woodley forced and recovered the same fumble. Silverbback woulda had another sack, if not for a holding call on the Bengals O-Line. I'm at the point where I'm expecting multiple sacks by each guy every game. That's gonna suck when I'm disappointed by a 1.5 sack game outta Wooderson. 4.5 outta 5 helmets.

Farrior/Timmons. There were playing like they were the same age. Timmons looked like a vet, and Farrior was playing like a kid trying to impress. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

It sucks when you live in NYC, and the team you love is about to play the Giants. Blue everywhere. Time to keep the momentum, Pittsburgh!

Leave Ed Hochuli Aloooone

Look, I’m a big critic of refs/umps, but the criticisms of Ed Hochuli of late are going a bit far.

The guy admittedly blew the San Diego call. There’s no denying that, and Hochuli manned up and took responsibility. You can’t go back and replay those critical moments of the game…it’ll go down forever as a massive mistake. But now, everyone seems to be piling on the once-proud ref after every missed call. That, my friends, is not fair. Each missed penalty is not because Hochuli has lost a step over the past few games. That San Diego call didn’t shape his future.

Those of us who call ourselves Steelers fans know all too well about blown calls. Hell, I fully expect an official referee apology every offseason, because it seems like the calls we complain about are understandably not in our favor during the season. The Polamalu interception in the Colts playoff game the year we won the Super Bowl? The blown holding call on David Garrard’s million yard scramble on 4th down to win last year’s playoff game? One of the calls changed the outcome of the game, the outcome of the season, the other didn’t. We got public apologies on both.

Even this year. Gene Steratore and Ron Winters, in successive weeks, called questionable roughing penalties on LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison respectively when both OLBs hit Joe Flacco and Garrard as they released the ball. Harrison openly criticized Winters after the Jags game and was fined for it. However, you’d be hard pressed to find a Steelers fan who will fervently watch each future game called by either ref, waiting for them to mess up again so we can post their email addresses and let the uninformed masses have at them.

I don’t even like the fact that I had to bring up the Woodley and Harrison (Wooderson for short, all right all right all right) calls because it might come off as complaining. I’m always focused on the next game, but the bye week allows me to reminisce on how we’ve been wronged, and how it isn’t right to hate on the ref forever. So let me have this one moment.

Before this season, Hochuli was the model of muscle-bound consistency. Now, everyone wants to over-analyze each call he makes or misses. That's weak.

Leave the guy alone and let him focus on the game, will ya?

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

Don't get me wrong, I'll take the 26-21 win. However, we can't expect to always come out on top in these close games that need OT or a late 4th quarter score to win. Ben has proved to be fantastic late-game QB, but it sucks to routinely have to lean on a late push to secure the W. How about putting a team away early, no?

Example: The Steelers (save for the Mathis INT...gross) dominated the first three quarters of play, only to find themselves 6 points up on a team that should've been down a few scores. Then, only a minute into the 4th, we're losing. Look, Cotter and I predicted a 100% season for Jeff Reed, but the more we keep asking for FG after FG, the higher chance he has of missing one. The second quarter, we put up a touchdown and two FGs. Two touchdowns and a kick or, dare I say, three touchdowns and the game is over. Stalled drives will only over-work Reed and kill the perfect prediction.

But as I said...we're 4-1 going into the much needed bye. When the schedule was first released, I'm sure you, like me, were complaining about the early bye and how the Steelers always seem to get stuck with that same scenario, forcing the team into tons of consecutive late-season football games, pending a deep playoff run. Now, with the injuries to the guys, the bye seems to have come at the right time.

So, who did what?

Ben. He's still an enigma. We talked about Rashean Mathis in the damn pregame show...I don't know why Ben would look his way AT ALL during the game. Baseball pitchers regularly pitch around the guys who bat well against them, Ben needs to do the same when playing the Jags. THROW TO WHATEVER SIDE OF THE FIELD MATHIS ISN'T ON! Other than that unfortunate early pick, Ben looked sharper than the past two games, so there's that. 300+ yards and 3 TDs will quickly make everyone forget the pick, but not me. Why? Its the exact same play as all the other Mathis picks. Ben is pressured and throws an ill-timed pass off his back foot to the right side, only to see dreadlocks flying down that same sideline for a pick 6. I thought about giving Ben a 4, but he only gets 3.5 out of 5 helmets.

Mewelde Moore. I don't know why Gary Russell was in the game late leading up to that final score. Russell had played well to that point, but Moore had exceeded anyone's expectations. Plus, he finished with 99 yards, so it woulda been nice to see him top 100 with this crack O-Line and RB corps that we currently have. I liked the pickup when we first got Mewelde for this exact reason. The guy isn't a fall-forward-for-two-yards guy like Najeh...he'll actually look good picking up 10 yard clips. A perfect 5 of 5 helmets, because you didn't see him getting anywhere near the century mark.

Bruce Arians. Anyone else get physically sick when he starts talking to Ben? He tried to make some adjustments...throwing to Heath more than once, allowing Mewelde to run it outside...but he still reverted to form early and often. I texted Cotter after the half with this: "That last Arians drive inside the 5: Run up the middle into the pile? Check. Fade pass to the corner of the endzone? Check. So predictable." Sure, I saw a lot of predictability from teams like the Cowboys yesterday, but Arians does nothing to disguise his plan. Last week I gave him 1 helmet. I'll bump him up to 2 of 5 helmets this week.

Wooderson. This is my new Bennifer/Brangelina name for Woodley and Harrison. Plus, I love Dazed and Confused. The two guys are a perfect match on the outsides, so I can't look at them as anything but a tandem. Each week they do something that gives me goosebumps. Woodley's shoestring sack (last time I type that phrase) was awesome, and Silverback came through with yet another forced fumble. Everyone needs to stop calling Harrison "one of the best pass rushers in the league." He's gotta be at the top with how he puts up sacks (last time I type that phrase also) week after week. He's a half sack (gross, again) behind John Abraham for the league lead and is tops in the NFL in forced fumbles. And Woodley's only in the first half of his second year. I fear for the safety of the rest of the league. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Wooderson. That's why I love these OLBs. I get older...they keep putting up the same play. All right, all right, all right.

Santonio. I can't quite understand why he's taken a step back in performance this year. After last season, it looked like '08 was Holmes' year to break out. Hell, I felt crazy confident in my second round fantasy pick of Holmes, but he's just under-performed all year to this point. I can't tell if the blame falls solely on him, or if opposing DBs are really intent on keeping him from destroying them. Sure, he's had nice plays here and there, clutch grabs from time to time, but nothing that screams consistency. Those 65 yards were good last night, but he, not Nate Washington, needs to be the one putting up nearly 100 with a score. I'll give Nate 4 of 5 helmets for last night, but Santonio gets a 5 game, cumulative 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Heal up this week, guys. It doesn't get any easier the rest of the way.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

"The offense was terrible in the first half."

I'm probably paraphrasing a bit, but I believe Ben said something along these lines in his post-game interview. You won't hear any objection from me, Ben.

23-20. OT. Win.

I'm really just biding my time until I can rip Bruce Arians a new one in my ratings. The team sucked hard, but luckily showed that they could make the appropriate adjustments to make the game competitive. As I said in the pregame show...pressure Flacco and good things will happen. Silverback and Woodley listened, and a defensive touchdown changed the attitude in the stadium.

So yeah, now we need to deal with several season-ending injuries, but those aren't excuses for losing. Its time to show who we are in this league and step up despite the adversity. But that's for another time. On to last night's ratings...don't expect blindly high ratings just because we won. There was a lot of suck:

Ben. A tale of two Bens? Who was that dude in the first half? His expressions and demeanor were not conducive to a competitive nature, and it looked like he was frustrated and confused...two things you don't want to see in your franchise quarterback. I hope Mike Tomlin punched Ben in the face at halftime, because Ben deserved that for the shitty play and defeatist attitude. However, he adopted the no-huddle and quick two/three step drops that we've been asking for this whole year so far. And guess what...IT WORKED! I know that INT slipped outta your hands, but that's another side effect of holding the ball too long, man. 3.5 of 5 helmets.

Bruce Arians. I'm gonna be painfully honest here. Any time I see Ben talking to Arians on the sideline, I immediately say, "Ben, do the complete opposite of what Bruce is saying right now." I don't understand his offense one bit and why he makes 95% of the decisions that he does. Why he was riding Carey Davis up the middle when a fresh Mewelde Moore was on the bench is beyond me. Just because he's a third-down back, it doesn't mean he can't play on first or second. Look at how well it paid off at the end of the game! I think Tomlin's been getting too much flak for the ineptitude of the play-caller. 1 of 5 helmets. Getting down early like that will bite us more often than not, dude.

Rashard. Don't wanna add insult to injury, but I was hoping for more. He showed flashes, but was stuffed on too many runs. It was something that he'd be able to work on if he wasn't injured now, but that isn't the case. Sucks that he'll basically be a rookie next year, too. 2.5 of 5 helmets.

Moore. See? Yeah, I'm the biggest Carey Davis supporter that you'll see, but Mewelde Moore is a much better option running the ball and catching out of the backfield. He came up with several huge plays late and put us in a position to win. Can't ask for much more from a guy who hasn't really been used this year. Look for Mewelde to get more touches with Willie hurt up and Beetlejuice gone. 4 of 5 helmets. Big time.

LBs. Dirty. Cotter predicted 1.5 sacks from Wood and 2 from Silverback. They finished with 1.5 and 2.5 respectively. Pretty damn good night, if you ask me. There was some stat that Silverback's last two MNF games included 5.5 sacks and 4 forced fumbles. Both games were in the throwbacks, do we have a jersey controversy? Go to the golden oldies all season! Wood and Silverback were huge all game, but Timmons' sack nearly impressed me the most. Dude was on a mission to end that Ravens drive, and nothing was going to get in his way. How sick is he going to be in the coming years? And how sick will Tomlin look for taking Timmons and Woodley 1-2 in his first draft as head coach? A perfect 5 of 5 for the LBs.

Jeff Reed. He's making good on me 'n Cotter's prediction of a 100% FG kicking season. One helmet for each made FG, one for making the practice one in OT and one for winning the game. 5 of 5 helmets. Where would we be this season without him?

As Cotter said, I guess this can be used as a celebratory gesture. Don't ask...we were taping the opening song for the pregame show.



Jacksonville in Jacksonville next week. Time to put this win behind us and get ready for playoff redemption.

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

Hey guys...guess what? MMCNY is back! Its been awhile. You all are looking great. We should get together and do lunch.

Prior to the game (and season!) starting, I said to Cotter that we couldn't afford to start slow. One Roethlisberger pick, one slacking defense and the season already would have been in trouble. I wanted to see an efficient offense, a steady O-line and smothering defense early and often. On the whole (tee hee), I was thoroughly impressed.

No one made the mistake, other than Matt Schaub and his fellow Texans.

I'm wicked hoarse, mostly from the sick atmosphere at Texas Arizona, so I'll be coming at you with my quiet-time voice. I predicted a 35-14 win, but Doug went ahead and hit the nail on the head with the appropriate 38-17 prediction less than an hour before the game started! Can I get some lottery numbers, man?

So, I'm glad MMCNY is back (here's the ratings breakdown, if you're new to the concept). It'll shift the MPotD til later in the day following Steelers games, but you'll adjust. Let's dive in:

Ben. Yes. That is how you open the season. In only 3/4 of the game, Roethlisberger put up pre-'07-type numbers. 13-14 for 137 yards, a touchdown and a passer rating of 147! He didn't force the ball anywhere, really, and was methodical with completion after completion. The Texans didn't want to get beat deep, so Ben took what was given...which is a good sign this early in the season. I felt pretty comfortable with all of Ben's passes, and he didn't let me down at all. A perfect 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the Large one.

Byron. Didn't do anything to ease my mind about the lack of Chuck Batch on the sidelines, but he also didn't make any massive mistakes. He handed off a bunch, which is easy to do with a huge lead, but went 0-4 when asked to chuck the rock. And he was chucking it. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets, but to be fair, he wasn't expected to really do anything.

Willie. Yes. That is how you...pad my fantasy stats. Bill validated my first-round selection of the once-allergic-to-touchdowns-Parker. He continued his recent streak of huge opening-day games, topping 100 yards for the fourth straight season debut. At some point in our preview show or outtakes, we pleaded to Bill for a score. Trading a few fumbles a year for several more touchdowns will vault Willie from a decent, 1,200-yard back to a possible All-Pro. He's really that good. One helmet for each touchdown, one for going over 100 yards and another for not fumbling, and Fast Bill collects 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets in the opener.

D. They're going to get another perfect...so, um...spoiler alert? Silverback proved last year was no fluke as he played like he was on meth again. 3 sacks!? Yikes. The man is a force, and coupled with LaMarr Woodley, provides a formidable challenge to opposing offenses. Wood got in on the sack fest, Farrior pitched in, Nick Eason played a surprisingly good game, and Troy was flying around like pre-injuries Troy. 5 of 5 helmets.

Hines. Looked young all game. Even with the move to a younger WR corps, Hines showed why he still Hines Ward and should be respected as such. Those two touchdowns were critical, and really buried the Texans earlier than they probably expected. 4 of 5 helmets for the 76 yards.

San Antonio. Not really a great game, but someone is going to suffer when everyone else is killing it. I woulda liked a few more catches, but I guess he did as much as he could with what he was given. Only two catches, but a 9.5 yard average, and he converted a big third down. 3 of 5 helmets, and I expect a bigger game in the near future.

Fresh meat next week in the Cleveland Browns. Don't call me, I'll call you.

The Steelers Are Pranksters

Good to see the team gelling and having chemistry, no?

If you're Santonio Holmes, how do you fall for the oldest trick in the book? A large group of teammates hands you a water bottle, complete with shit-eating grins all around, and you still don't expect some sort of hijinks? If Silverback was staring at me with a toothy smile, I'd immediately think the worst. Pee in the bottle...a loosened lid...or anything in between. I mean, how many times do groups of people watch you drink? You're 'sposed to have good field awareness, San Antonio!

GLURB..GLURBLE GLURB.

Those speech bubbles killed me. Kinda NSFW, language-wise, but funny nonetheless.

Watch out for the Saran Wrap on the toilets, Santonio.