I'm back from Steelers training camp...everybody dance!
The drive from Latrobe to NYC sucked, but what could you expect? Latrobe and NYC are two different states of mind, and the gap is huge. You don't really realize the difference until you go back after an extended absence.
Dance for me like the above little horse, and then read all of these:
I have a question for you. Have you ever tried to look up sidneycrosby.com? Crosby87, supposedly the official website, has been "In Progress" for several years now. So I tried His name dot com to see what would appear (see how I did that? I capitalized "His" so I could compare Him to Christ).
If you've never tried this, I suggest you do so now. Not only is the website devoted to something other than Sid, but the freaking site has a mini pony on it! I'm losing my shit, man!
Hello Fellow Chelonians. I am Sidney, a Red-eared slider. My owner gave me a 2nd name so I consider myself to be quite unique. Mother nature called me Trachemys scripta elegans; I ca-rum-ba! I have trouble pronouncing it myself and I am the turtle
I weigh about 2 pounds and spend most of my day in my aquarium swimming happily. I am still camera shy as you can see. When I was with my previous owner I was not treated very well. I was kept in the dark most of time, was malnourished, and did not even have claws. But after being taken care of by my new owner I have since grown claws, the spots on my shell have disappeared and I am now much healthier. I also had to learn how to swim as most of the time I had to waddle around the bottom of the tank; the water level was not high enough for me to swim like a turtle should.
WHAT?!?!? Please note that I'm guffawing and choking as I type this. It should help you if you try to read this post in a guffawing voice. The dancing turtles with banjos should help you if you have trouble laughing. The mini pony might be the best. On the page titled Sidney's Friends, the following appears:
Hi Sidney! I'm Gypsy, a Bedlington Terrier all the way from Down Under, Australia. I am very possessive of my owner and I love her to bits. She loves me too. My boyfriend is a miniature horse, James! Yep, I said it right. My boyfriend is a little horse. When I go walking with my owner I make sure we stop by my boyfriend's do I can give him a kiss. He leans right down and kissy kissy!!
My owner just got a new rug and I christened it! ** If you know what I mean. ** That's all for now, Sidney!!
I'm literally dying at this point. None of this makes sense, and I love it for that sole reason. The name, the turtle, the odd image of Muhammad Ali, the goat and mini pony lovers. It's perfect, and all I'd expect from a site bearing the name of the 21 year old hockey star from the Burgh.
Solid black and white! This logo (?) comes from Southern Star Minis. It's amazing the different mini horse websites one comes across after starting their own mini horse blog.
If you aren't starting a mini horse website, read these links:
HHR gives AFC North training camp postcards. The Ravens one is hilarious! [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
Speaking of training camp, remember to come out and meet me and Cotter this Sunday. Shoot me an email if you plan on going to camp. [PSaMP]
Brett Favre has doubts about the Jets. Great. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
Guaranthony Smith clobbered Hines Ward in non-contact drills earlier this week. I haven't used the word "clobbered" in a minute. I shall use it more often now. [The Black and Gold Blog]
Send your Pirates tattoos to Big League Stew. [Big League Stew]
Yeah, you heard correctly. Me and Jeff Karstens are the same person.
Karstens had a perfect game going last night through 7 2/3 innings before surrendering a two-out double in the 8th. We as fans have no idea what was going through Karstens' head in the 7 full innings prior to the hit, and how he handled losing a perfect game that late in the contest. I mean, if you're attempting to throw just the 18th perfect game in the history of the sport, you gotta be feeling it throughout. Karstens and his teammates can lie all they want and say they weren't thinking about it, but I know the truth. Because I've had perfection spoiled before.
Prior to dominating Weezer on Expert for the first time, I had a few shots at perfection, only to lose my killer streak in the waning moments of the song. Eyes focus harder, hands get sweaty, surrounding distractions become blurry, friends/family/bandmates are no longer in the peripheral vision. You try to block out the "oh no, I'm gonna lose this" feelings, but they're there...they're there.
Which is why Karstens had to know he hadn't surrendered a baserunner through nearly 8 innings. Every batter he faced lost the singular battle, and collectively, they'd wind up losing the war. He could try and block out the anxiety and nervous ambition while trying to complete the task which seemed so distant in the early innings, but the thoughts had to be slaughtering his mind.
So don't feel bad for losing the perfect game, Jeff. Hell, you still won the game on a two-hit shutout. You at least have one supporter who knows what you were going through. Even I've had to settle for gold stars on Expert without achieving 100% "Flawless Fretwork."
Even though I blog about sports, which pisses off a lot of MSMers to the point where they want accountability and, dare I say it, censorship, even I can admit when certain people shouldn't have access to the Internet. Or air.
Sidney Crosby gets a lot of heat, mostly because he's the face of the NHL, he's talented, and his status and skill pisses people off. Troll any blog post, message board or website that mentions Sid and you're sure to see negative barbs thrown his way. DIVER, WHINER, BABY, CINDY, FAG, WEAK, NO-TALENT CLOWN SHOES...its gotten to a point where we Penguins fans are numb to the criticisms.
However, I really don't get the point of this video. Is it mocking Sid? Or is imitation really the sincerest form of flattery? 'Cause I've made videos way back in high school with the 70 year old Spanish teacher from Italy that made more sense than this pile of garbage. Honestly, I played the Crocodile Hunter while he beat me up to the beginning riff of Thursday's Understanding in a Car Crash. See? More coherent.
Fake Crosby might be the most annoying thing I've ever seen/heard, but I'm equally weirded out by the muffled laughter of the videographer. I didn't even crack a damn smile while watching this. I almost cracked a knuckle trying to punch the computer screen, but that's another thing altogether.
Yes, I read the comments on the Youtube page that said this video is not hating on Crosby, but there are much better ways to make a point, whether positive or negative, about The Kid.
If you're going to mock Sid in a video, at least jump in a pool (to cement the diver claim), cry into the camera (to ridicule the whiner/baby insults), or make out with a dude (to imply that Sid's gay).
See folks, I'm just trying to make the Internet a better place. My Equal Opportunity Blogging even gives advice to the anti-Crosby-ites out there.
I'm a fan of dogs in addition to miniature horses, so any picture including both critters is like the mother load. This one would fit in that spectrum.
If you aren't watching a cool parade right now, you should be reading some links:
Crazy storms in Chicago two nights ago. Fan-shot video had me scared the Cloverfield monster was coming. [GoatRiders of the Apocalypse]
You know how I know you're gay? You listen to Coldplay. And in this case, you = Tom Brady. [Inside Track]
Does it surprise you that a Seahawks blog would predict the Browns to finish with a better record than the Steelers this season? GET OVER SUPER BOWL XL, SEATTLE! YOU LOST. DEAL! [A Seahawks-Centric NFL Blog]
Where: Steelers Training Camp, St. Vincent College
When: Sunday, August 10
Time: Practice starts at 2:55 P.M.
As a Steelers fan who currently lives in New York City, I feel semi-disconnected from all I hold dear (Pittsburgh sports). Now, I moved in February, so it hasn't been that long, but I've only been to the area to see my younger brother at Point Park University. That's about to change.
This weekend, PSaMP and my good buddy Cotter from One For The Other Thumb will be making a trip from the big city into Latrobe for Steelers camp. Since St. Vincent College is my alma mater, it will be good to revisit my old stomping grounds.
Any fans of the Steelers, PSaMP or OFTOT who want to discuss football at camp with two (kickass) Steelers bloggers should feel free to drop me a line at psampmail@gmail.com. Plus, I'll tip you off on where to find mini ponies right next to camp!
So yeah, email me if you plan on visiting camp this Sunday afternoon. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to say it now, Ryan Mundy will team up with Troy Polamalu to make a sick defensive backfield in the future. It might happen this year, it might happen two years down the road, but I really enjoyed the pick late in this year's draft, and I'm certain the local kid can contribute as a solid starter.
Plus, he's humble. When questioned by the hot chick from Jocklife in the above video, Mundy says that his presence makes parties hot hot hot! His dance skillz need some help, though. He should take a cue from the Pittsburgh Colts' dance team.
Here's one more interview Mundy had with Jocklife. We as fans rarely get candid looks at rookies, mostly because they're young guys who need to entrench themselves in the new system. Mundy's favorite websites are actually pretty unexpected.
Tiny horse better wipe the hair outta his face, lest he stumble and get caught on his freedom trip. And big ups to the little girl for helping old boy exkape.
Mini horse left the farm, went to an Internet cafe, and immediately read these links:
How many hashmarks does a football field need? Oh, 24 every 5 yards, you say? [The Sports Hernia]
Georgia football took the Bengals' business plan to college. Where's the "Outside the Lines" investigative report on schools like Georgia and USC? Oh wait, those are too high profile for ESPN to go after. [The Sports Lounge]
Vikings punter Chris Kluwe believes himself to be top-100 in Guitar Hero. I'll slay him on "Cherub Rock" on Rock Band, tough. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
Are you Bill Simmons, Chuck Klosterman, Stephen A. Smith or Rick Reilly. Either way the quiz turns out, you die a little on the inside. [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]
Amanda Beard to pose nude for PETA in Beijing. Awesome. [Larry Brown Sports]
It cannot be stressed enough. Every training camp, the Steelers go for the early goal-line drill, hoping that someone will stand out as a versatile short-yardage back with substantial power. Since The Bus left, the drill seems to come up empty year in and year out.
"But Nick, our running game is fine. We have Beetlejuice, Fast Bill and a backup plan in Mewelde Moore that other teams would love to be afforded. And Willie was leading the league in rushing up to his injury in week 16 last season!"
I've tried to use this excuse in my mind, and it isn't working anymore. Willie scored two touchdowns all of last year, both on the ground. That's a massive drop in production, going between yards gained and touchdowns accumulated. You can run a 99 yard play every time you snap the ball, but if you can't punch in the ball while letting the other team score, well...it's hard to justify the lack of production in the points category.
Now, I'm not necessarily worried about the RB corps entirely. If Willie can shake off this, he should re-take his spot on the list of top RBs in the league, and Mendenhall could be a perfect compliment.
Stellar defense, Pittsburgh, but someone needs to break the plane.
Super sexy tipster Holly sent in this website, which she saw on a billboard in Cali. I know my birthday is in a week, so I might have to try and get Mini Horse Parties out to NYC for a few days.
Little boy looks terrified of the cool mini horse. Don't worry, son, these aren't weird, regular-sized horses. This one just wants to hang out and let you ride him.
I have no related quip to give you, so just read these links:
NHL 09 features that didn't make the cut. Hilarious. [The Pensblog]
