Friday, August 24, 2007

What About Bob?

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These are the kind of stories that showcase why the Nutting family is so far ahead of every other owner in the MLB.

Sarcasm...for the slower readers out there.

Bob Nutting came to the unrivaled realization that his upcoming hire for the soon-to-be-vacant CEO of the Pirates position will be a baseball person.

Wow. Thank God.

With Kevin McClatchy leaving at the end of the season, the Nuttings actually have to make a decision about the baseball team's future rather than the baseball business' future.

Who would've thought that the next Pirates CEO would be a baseball person? Anybody...? Really?

/crickets...

Because you know, once the Nuttings hire a baseball person, that means the team has a chance of winning, therefore increasing the likelihood that the owners might have to dip into their billions on good players. And by good players, I don't mean Matt Morris.

I fully expected Nutting to come out and say that he was going to hire another incompetent puppet who would continue the trend of fielding a horrible team that doesn't look for pricey free agents and instead keeps the payroll low so that the dollar bills keep flying in.

However, Bob shocked me by announcing that the job would only go to a baseball person. I guess we can all breathe a sigh of relief now, knowing that the Nuttings finally realized that baseball people are the most suitable candidates for... A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CEO POSITION!

Sorry for the Screamin' A. Smith caps lock, but I just get frustrated with the Nuttings. Very easily. Is this really news? Did Nutting really have to proclaim that the team would look only for baseball people? That's like saying that the local college is intent on hiring only people with education degrees, rather than the stoner on the corner who wastes time by inconsistently showing up and taking your kids' money.

The Pirates are finally getting a baseball person. Hooray!

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2 comments:

smarchit said...

Temper that enthusiasm... Considering what this franchise has deemed to be "Baseball Players", do you really want to get too excited that they are looking for a "Baseball Person"? Technically, Joe Fan qualifies, as do the Pirate Parrot and the saps that run around in the pierogie suits. Perhaps they'll choose one of the latter 2 choices and claim that they are promoting from within the organization. Some of the top outside candidates probably include Mr. Met, the Milwaukee Sausage Racers, and for local charm, the guy in the Washington Wild Things costume.

tecmo_bowl_bo_jackson said...

Hmmm...Mr. Met, an upgrade from McLatchy?