Sign Gheorghe Muresan

In light of the Yankees signing Billy Crystal to play against Pittsburgh on Thursday, I'm pleading the Pirates organization to make a splash themselves.

Sign Gheorghe Muresan.

I know the Pirates front office hasn't listened to the fans in, oh, 15+ years, but now is the time to hear our voice. In Muresan's case, we'd at least get a former athlete rather than his fellow My Giant headliner, better known as the guy who brought us Analyze That.

We only need him for like a one-day contract. I'm not saying to invest an entire season on Muresan's rock-solid knees. Just enough to intimidate the hell outta the Yanks.

If Crystal lights up the Buccos, I will give up my undying allegiance to the team.