Friday, August 31, 2007
VotW #2, you want to know how much space you need for a mini pony? I don't know the correct answer, but I would assume the entire interior of a house would do. But that's just me...
Three cheers for a special Friday edition of MMCNY!
Hip hip! _________
Hip hip! _________
Hip hip! _________
Thanks for participating, ya jerks.
This is going to be a semi-condensed version of MMCNY, seeing as how the game was awful to watch, the starters barely played and it was the final preseason game.
Tale of the tape: Steelers won, 19-3. Underlying theme: Dan Sepulveda and Jeff Reed are tired.
Oh, and flags were flying like they were going out of style, and both offenses were sluggish to say the least.
With that being said, let's look at some parts of the team that stood out.
Jeff Reed. Shaft (I might just call him that now) connected on all 4 of his FG attempts, and prior to Tyrone Carter's interception return for a touchdown, he provided the only Steeler points of the game. And Carter's int came with a little over a minute left in the game. The Carolina game was a great regular season tune up for Mr. Reed. Special teams are oftentimes overlooked and sometimes under-practiced. Tomlin is stressing special teams, and Jeff came through when needed. Anything less than 4 of 4 would have caused some doubt in my mind about Jeff going into the season opener, but he was perfect, and we couldn't ask for anything more. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Shaft.
Mike Lorello. "Who?," you might ask. Lorello is #45, and played primarily special teams and in the 2nd half of games throughout the preseason. However, last night, Lorello came up with the kind of game-changing play that I want to see out of every player. After a Dan Sepulveda punt (and there were a few of those), Lorello came charging after the punt return specialist. He took a crappy angle, and was beat by the much faster returner. Lorello refused to give up, and continued to tail the speedy return man. Once the Panther made a few too many jukes, Lorello caught up from behind, blindsiding the returner and forcing a fumble. Sepulveda (what!?) recovered the dropped ball. I was miffed when Lorello took such a bad angle, but kept watching him as he turned and followed his missed target. His determination paid off, and he finished the play that he was originally supposed to make. And he forced a turnover in the process. 5 of 5 helmets for the spectacular display of will.
Gary Russell/Carey Davis. Both still on the bubble. Russell had a few decent runs, but one or two were called back due to offensive holding. My favorite run of his was when he took the ball, and just crammed it up the middle for 12 yards. There were Panthers and Steelers all around, but he bowled through the masses to get the first down. The final RB/FB spot might be between Russell and PSaMP fave Carey Davis. Davis impressed me by taking a pass in the flats, and refusing to go down after being hit by multiple Panthers. Russell showed a little bit last night, but nothing that clearly distinguished between the two players. 3 of 5 helmets combined for the duo, only because both players are still on the bubble. We will find out this weekend if Russell and/or Davis makes the team.
Tyrone Carter. He's not on the bubble, which is why I was surprised to see him playing so late in the fourth quarter. He'll probably be Polamalu's primary backup, and showed why he will make the team with his interception to seal the game late. In my Second Quarter Observations from last night, I mentioned that Carter was everywhere. He was involved in plenty of tackles early, and played some strong coverage. Carter validated my statement by being in the right spot at the right time with just over a minute left in the game, and he sealed a previously touchdown-free game with a pick-6. carter gets 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for a game well played.
There wasn't a whole lot to be discouraged about, aside from the slow-developing offense. The starters on both sides of the ball barely played, so most of my concerns fell on the shoulders of backups and likely cuts. The defense did step up this week, and provided plenty of turnovers to please my appetite.
Since it was the final game and we got little to no looks at the starters, I'm refraining from pointing out too many blemishes in this edition. I can assure you, that will not be the case once the regular season gets underway.
I hope you enjoyed the preseason installments of MMCNY. It was a learning experience, but also tons of fun. When the games are for real, be sure to add your own critiques, either in the comments, or emailed directly to firstname.lastname@example.org. If they're good enough, they might even make the final cut as MMCNY points of interest. Til then...
Thursday, August 30, 2007
St. Pierre - Sucks at jogging off injuries
Lorello - Determination. My favorite play of the game
Sepulveda - Cool fumble recovery
Russell - Better
Randall - Snap, handoff, repeat
Reed - Almost as many FGs as Sepulveda punts
Woodley/Timmons - Still playing
Moonlight - ...to help the living rather than feeding off them. Wtf?
Carter - Told ya
Tomlin's First Preseason - 4-1. Well done
dominated by tecmo at 11:14 PM
Bryan Randall - Tee Martin Jr.?
Haynes - Healthy?
Flags - Too Many
3rd Quarter O - Carolina penalties
Gay - Always in the right place
Russell - Good, not great
dominated by tecmo at 10:28 PM
Timmons - Solid shoestring
Davis - Beast
Sepulveda - Punts aplenty
St. Pierre - Chicken double-u-slash-o a head
Kriewaldt - Word
Turnovers - Needed
Points off turnovers - Only 3?
Carter - Everywhere
dominated by tecmo at 9:38 PM
Troy - Amazing
Keisel - Bulldozer
Reid - Decent
D - Confusion (the good type)
Colclough - Got played
Carr - Under no pressure. At all
dominated by tecmo at 8:59 PM
He deserved it.
This is the mini pony from the Wikipedia page that PSaMP hijacked for about 4 hours. The page is back to normal, but this little guy had been through a lot.
I should've tried to slip the Wikipedia trolls a fiver or something, to ensure that Shetland Ponies always rule. Alas, that will never be.
It was fun while it lasted.
In a totally unrelated story, the final Steelers preseason game starts in just under 2 hours. I'll resurrect my minimalistic observations by quarter (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th from last game), so add your own feelings/observations if you want.
Check out PSaMP's correction to Wikipedia's "Shetland Pony" entry.
I don't know when Wiki will find out about my crazy antics, but I felt it was a subtle but necessary edit.
Click on the picture to see a larger version. I copied the picture in case Wiki decides to overrule my edit. I'm hoping they won't.
And I love the Civic Arena (not the Mellon Arena).
I've been trying to stay on top of any current news regarding HOK Sports and the new Pens arena, and was thrilled to see new arena design drawings.
To me, seeing the Igloo go down will be as emotional as watching Three Rivers disintegrate. Sure, there were more memories at Three Rivers due to the fact that both the Pirates and Steelers used the stadium, but the Igloo saw successive championship banners raised to the rafters. I might cry when it ceases to be.
One thing that will help, is knowing that a ridiculously badass multipurpose arena will be waiting to take its place. I think that will soften the blow a bit.
Here's a few specs about the new arena, as written by the P-G's Ann Belser and Mark Belko (I guess your last name needed to begin with Bel- in order to participate in this article):
The new building, which is being designed by HOK Sport of Kansas City, Mo., will have its main entrance on Centre Avenue near Washington Place, with other entrances on the east side of the building off Centre Avenue and at Fifth Avenue and Washington Place.
Patrick Lempka, lead architect for the project, said the building will be 80 feet tall along Centre Avenue and about 130 feet high at Fifth Avenue.
People on Fifth Avenue won't necessarily see the arena looming above them because the facade along Fifth Avenue will be brick and cast stone storefronts that will be about 55 feet high, with the arena set back on a plaza from the top of that base.
The new building will have a corridor around the main level that will run from Centre Avenue to the plaza behind the Fifth Avenue facade. That circular corridor will be faced with glass while the top of the arena will have some sort of metal or painted metal skin, Mr. Lempka said.
Mr. Lempka said the architects are working with the city-county Sports & Exhibition Authority to incorporate features that would make it a green building.
Cool green arena.
That last part was unexpected, but I guess the team is trying to stay at the forefront of a league-wide change. Or, Al Gore claimed to have invented the Penguins, and wants them to stop killing the Arctic Circle.
No matter the case, I'm just pumped to hear any/all news regarding the new arena. I know the building has been delayed, and the newest version of the Pens will still be playing in the home of the all-time great Sudden Death, but I can't help feeling giddy about the possibility of Pittsburgh adding another amazing sports venue to their arsenal of first-class stadiums.
It will be unfortunate to see the Civic perish, but the Pens need that to happen in order to finally christen some modern facilities. I'd say they deserve it.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Lin Di is a stud. I guess.
Hines Ward apparently broke his nose during Sunday's preseason game against Philly. I was originally nervous when I heard rumors of a Steelers WR going under the knife. Fortunately, it wasn't for major surgery. Tomlin is even ready for Hines to get back on the field.
"Hines is Hines," Tomlin said. "I wouldn't count Hines out."
Ward should be on the field for the final preseason game against the annual-sportswriters-Super-Bowl-favorite-but-usual-bust Carolina Panthers. The game is tomorrow night at 8.
Owen Wilson's nose was starving for attention, and was not impressed.
Andrew W.K. then broke his own nose in a sign of solidarity.
Best. Album. Ever.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker is still in its baby stages, so this seems to be an appropriate time to explain the rating system I use.
I use motorcycle helmets in lieu of stars, or thumbs up, mainly because Big Ben could've used a motorcycle helmet (or 5) when he took on a Chrysler New Yorker prior to last season. In giving more helmets, I feel that the team/player is better prepared to survive any unforeseen crises.
You may feel that I am way too particular, but I won't be satisfied with average performances which could lead to another 8-8 season. In Pittsburgh, we've been blessed to see 5 Super Bowl trophies, and even the casual fan knows what works and what doesn't. I could easily give 5 motorcycle helmets every game for the sole fact that I'm a massive Steelers homer. In fact, you will
hardly never hear me say, "Ooh, the Steelers might lose this week." Despite my Black and Gold swayings, I know when to suspend my preferences in order to show what's not acceptable. And to me, anything short of the Super Bowl is unacceptable.
Without further ado, here is an analysis of what you can expect from MMCNY during the regular season.
5 of 5 motorcycle helmets. The Mack Daddy (or Daddy Mack...damn you, Kris Kross) of them all. If I've given 5 motorcycle helmets, it means that I am confident that this aspect of the team is Lombardi Trophy-esque. I could set my bar lower, and say 5 of 5 equals a playoff caliber performance, but this is the Steelers we are talking about. You don't win 5 of 41 Super Bowls by being content with merely making the playoffs. To me, there should be no mental lapses, or throw-away games. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets go to the stud performers of the week, or if I just happen to see an old college buddy for the first time in a few years by chance.
4 of 5 motorcycle helmets. 4 helmets signifies that the team is playoff-worthy, and possibly AFC Championship material. Again, I could use 4 to stand for something lower, but I won't accept anything lower. I don't want to go through another 2006, because I'm convinced I will pull out all of my hair. By bestowing 4 motorcycle helmets, I feel the team, or highlighted player, can cause some noise in weeks 18+.
3 of 5 motorcycle helmets. I gave the starting D 3 motorcycle helmets for the past game against Philly. This caused some concern, which I hope to explain. True, the starters had 3 sacks in their only half of action. Last year, the team averaged 2.4 sacks a game, and Joey Porter took 7 of those to Miami. Going on last game, the starting D unloaded a (would-be) 6 sack showing against a good Philadelphia team. However, there were no interceptions or fumble recoveries to go with the 3 sacks in 2 quarters. By playing at a minus 2 turnover ratio (Ben's int, Fast Bill's fumble), the team is asking for trouble. I'm not saying that the team will be at minus 2 for each game during the entire year, thus ending at an abysmal minus 32, but it can't be a good sign. Last year, division rival Baltimore owned the entire AFC with a plus 15 ratio. Cincy was respectfully placed at number 5, with a plus 5. Pittsburgh played the season at a minus 6, only better than Cleveland and Oakland. Playing below the standards of Baltimore and Cincy means the team won't even make it out of the AFC North. If the starting D can't pick up the starting O when Ben and Co. falters, then we could see another .500 season. 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets show the team/player is a playoff bubble contender at best. That's not Pittsburgh football.
2 of 5 motorcycle helmets. An absolutely horrid showing. For arguments sake, Ben would get 2 helmets for under 200 yards passing with more interceptions than touchdowns. Fast Bill would get 2 helmets for a game with multiple fumbles, or no touchdowns with less than 100 yards. These aren't the exact standards, but showings like these would not put the team in a position to win. Simply put, if I give 2 motorcycle helmets, then the team is looking at a sub-.500 season and an upper echelon draft pick. I'm content with draft picks in the upper 20s, not the low teens.
1 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Last I checked, Kent Graham wasn't on the team. Something must be really wrong if I feel the need to give a 1 of 5 rating. This means the team has minimal protection against the big, bad Chrysler, and could go flying through the windshield at any moment. As is the case every season, I think the Steelers will win the Super Bowl. I don't want to believe that I could give out a 1 of 5 rating, but it will happen if something astronomical happens, like losing to Oakland in '06.
So that's it, for the most part. I want the team to succeed, and to not be content with sub par performances. MMCNY is a place for recognition of standout performances as well as possible imperfections.
This is one fan's perspective. Feel free to add your own during any/all MMCNY installments.
I'm giving you the MPotD early today. Real early.
I have to repair the tin metal roof on my parents' house, so I wanted to get this out of the way as early as possible.
I'm also planning on posting a breakdown of the MMCNY ratings, seeing as how the column is still in its development stages, and I haven't done a breakdown/analysis of the number of motorcycle helmets yet. If I have time today, it will be up.
I used to be a tin metal roofer. Yeah, I remember that...day.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Steelers Win. Eagles lose. 27-13. The Steagles were back in the limelight, at least for a night.
For my birthday, my brother bought me a book about the Steagles. I've just started reading it, so I get to keep the Steagles emotion going.
Back to last night. Ben looked awful immediately out the gate. That "I don't wanna be sacked" interception showed promise, but was ill-timed. I like that he's trying to make a play, but he needed to put a lot more on it if he's trying to complete a pass with Eagles hanging onto his body.
Fast Bill returned to form. His fumble was costly, and made the game appear closer than it actually was. However, he recovered in time to score a touchdown before halftime.
The D, I was no so impressed with. A couple of guys made plays, but overall, the effort was shabby.
Let's look a little deeper, now.
Ben Roethlisberger. The interception...horrible. The 13 completions for 247 yards and a 9.9 yards per completion average...better. Ben made some throws that made me scratch my head, but he countered with some awesome throws at critical times. He needs to do better than the hair above 50% completion rate he posted last night (13/25), and a passing touchdown would've offset the int. I'll give the MMCNY inspiration 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for his effort last night. The careless interception brought me back to 2006, but the 247 yards in one half is really encouraging.
Fast Bill. This critique is probably going to sound an awful lot like Ben's. The fumble...horrible. The touchdown and direction changes...better. Bill only rushed for a 3.2 yards per carry average, but showed the doubters that he is recovered from the knee injury that kept him out of the first two preseason games. He was electric with the short receptions, posting 13.3 yards per reception. Fast Bill said he wants to be better than LT. I think Fast Bill is the only RB in the league who could rise to an LT-like level. He was stopping on dimes (there were obviously a lot of dimes on the Heinz Field turf), and gave guys like Reggie Bush and LT a run for their money. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the now-healthy Bill.
D. Needs to get better. A lot better. I don't want them to get hurt, but I think they need more reps in the final preseason game. If not, the early part of the regular season might be a bit of a downer. As the offense was hitting its stride, the defense was losing theirs. They need to perform better while the offense is in motion as well. 3 of 5 helmets.
Heath Miller. We really don't need the 400 big white TE's that Bruce Arians loves so much. If we would just throw 5 or 6 more balls to Miller each game, the Steelers would be in a position to compete...every game. His size is ridiculous, and he doesn't go down with the first tackler. Its impossible for tiny DBs to manhandle him, and LBs in pass coverage are hardly a match for his skill. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets, because he rules.
Steelers. Since this was likely our last major look at the first team before the regular season, the Steelers get their own section in MMCNY. Overall, I'm positive the team can contend for the Super Bowl. This is not an 8-8 team, and last year was a product of unfortunate circumstances. With a healthy Ben, a new (and awesome) coach and a 3-1 (so far) preseason, the Steelers should be in a position to win more games than last year. As long as Ben minimizes mistakes, and doesn't throw 23 interceptions again, the offense looks well-oiled and capable of putting up some numbers. Fast Bill will be an elite RB, and the defense will need to step up. Once the D comes around, the team will be well-rounded and a threat to take the competitive AFC
Central North. 4 of 5 overall motorcycle helmets for the first team this preseason.
I'd nitpick more, but I have some stuff to go do. See you in a bit...
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Andrea Kremer - Drunk? (We aarrre ready)
Madden - Confused by minorities with long hair (Tyrone Carter/Troy Polamalu)
# 41 - Plural? (Russell/Mason?)
Coors Light/Parcells/Bigfoot Commercial - Thumbs up
Gary Russell - I've seen better
Johnson - Word
Madden - Should never be on one leg. Ever. (Huck a buck?)
Final Outcome - Cool 27-13 win
dominated by tecmo at 11:25 PM
Anthony Smith - Killer
Bettis - Drug dealer
Woodley - Stalker
Gay - Basher
36 Oz Steak - Madden's wet dream
McNabb - Needs to re-grow the Tomlin mini-fro
Batch - Solid
Carey Davis - Bruiser
Dr. Robotnik's sons - Bought drugs off Bettis
dominated by tecmo at 10:33 PM
Bill Parker - Better
Young John Madden - Ugly/fat
Bionic Woman - Must see T.V.
Danny Kreider - Monster
Starks - Destroyed Gaither/Dawkins in the same block
Najeh - S-poo-ky good
Bettis - Answers?
McNabb - Too bald
One Minute O - Decent job
dominated by tecmo at 9:42 PM
Heath - Beast
Bill Parker - (Could-be) Beast. Needs to not fumble. Sorry, too many words.
Roethlisberger - Feast or famine
Sepulveda - Shank
Polamalu - Man crush
Line Judge - Owned
D - Eh...
dominated by tecmo at 8:51 PM
I'm going to (try to) summarize each quarter (at the conclusion of each) in a word or two. We will see how that goes...
dominated by tecmo at 8:07 PM
* If you haven't ever seen Best in Show, then you haven't seen good films.
Colma, California may legalize little horses as pets. You have my full support, Colma, California.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Wow. These little guys love running right next to each other. Its almost comical how they don't leave each other's side.
dominated by tecmo at 4:10 PM
Friday, August 24, 2007
These are the kind of stories that showcase why the Nutting family is so far ahead of every other owner in the MLB.
Sarcasm...for the slower readers out there.
Bob Nutting came to the unrivaled realization that his upcoming hire for the soon-to-be-vacant CEO of the Pirates position will be a baseball person.
Wow. Thank God.
With Kevin McClatchy leaving at the end of the season, the Nuttings actually have to make a decision about the baseball team's future rather than the baseball business' future.
Who would've thought that the next Pirates CEO would be a baseball person? Anybody...? Really?
Because you know, once the Nuttings hire a baseball person, that means the team has a chance of winning, therefore increasing the likelihood that the owners might have to dip into their billions on good players. And by good players, I don't mean Matt Morris.
I fully expected Nutting to come out and say that he was going to hire another incompetent puppet who would continue the trend of fielding a horrible team that doesn't look for pricey free agents and instead keeps the payroll low so that the dollar bills keep flying in.
However, Bob shocked me by announcing that the job would only go to a baseball person. I guess we can all breathe a sigh of relief now, knowing that the Nuttings finally realized that baseball people are the most suitable candidates for... A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CEO POSITION!
Sorry for the Screamin' A. Smith caps lock, but I just get frustrated with the Nuttings. Very easily. Is this really news? Did Nutting really have to proclaim that the team would look only for baseball people? That's like saying that the local college is intent on hiring only people with education degrees, rather than the stoner on the corner who wastes time by inconsistently showing up and taking your kids' money.
The Pirates are finally getting a baseball person. Hooray!
One thing I've found while searching this here information superhighway for cool pictures of neat-o little horses, is that a lot of people love to pose for pictures with their little friend.
The horse in this stellar portrait is Charlie. Charlie was going to be auctioned off for pet food (sad), until a woman dropped £70 on the doomed animal.
I'm currently giving the woman a round of applause. Best. Purchase. Ever.
That totally makes badass Charlie the MPotD.
Sweet, another two-fer.
Damn William Gay, the Steelers DB draft pick in 2007, for causing people to mistake PSaMP for something it ain't. I get it, people in England like gay things. Especially free gay superheroes.
This next one is one of my favorite lines from Grandma's Boy (give or take a word here and there):
Jeff: Alex, can we go to your Grandma's house? I have to piss.
Alex: Just go in the alley.
Jeff: No, I have to piss out of my ass.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
This is Midnight the Wonder Pony. Yes, that is its real name.
Midnight was neglected like none other. He was underweight, and his hooves were never properly maintained. Here's more info about this cool little dude.
Happy ending...Midnight was rescued. Cheers to that. And now he's MPotD. Talk about coming full circle...
Here's a closeup of those hooves:
dominated by tecmo at 5:17 PM
This picture is not the reason why.
Yesterday, in my Bettis book critique, I touched on Bettis' anger over the team cutting Tim Lester in 1999.
Bill Parker has a similar opinion in 2007. He wants Dan Kreider, not some Tight End, blocking for him when the season opens.
"I prefer to have a fullback," said Parker, who was third in the American Football Conference last season with 1,494 rushing yards and 13 rushing touchdowns. "You always want a lead blocker and someone who takes it in there. And a fullback, they just go and take it in there and block somebody to clear a path. Dan Kreider is a good fullback."
Bruce Arians' new offense calls for an assload of TEs. Tuman will make the team. '06 and '07 draft picks Miller and Spaeth will make the team. There is even a chance that either Jonathan Dekker or Cody Boyd also make the roster. That leaves nary a spot for 5 year starter Dan Kreider. Arians would prefer to have TEs line up all over the field, as wideouts, linemen, or even in the backfield as blockers for Fast Bill.
However, no one has asked Bill, and he apparently wants #35.
Dan's paid his dues. He's had his ups and downs, and is a more-than-suitable lead blocker. If he doesn't make the team, I don't see other teams waiting long to snatch him up. Besides, Willie is the first Pittsburgh RB to record back to back 1000 yard seasons since Bettis, and is a threat to take it to the house on every touch. Much of his success depends on the reliability of Dan Kreider, and discarding him for a Tight End doesn't bode well.
So yeah, there were a lot of Bettis' comments I didn't agree with, but his feelings toward the team cutting Lester ring true today. Bettis had a HOF career with or without Tim Lester, but the consistency issue is a major point. If the fans and organization want to see Bill Parker continue to develop into a consistent Pro Bowler, he's going to need Kreider, the only fullback in his career, up in front.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Sticking with the olde tyme black and white theme, Here's a really old guy with a really tiny horse next to a really confused dog.
Honestly, that horse looks like a toy. No joke. And the dog's eyes look very bewildered at this cool little sight.
Is that even a real horse? I know it is, but it took me by surprise.
Wow, I could've used any picture of Jerome for this post. He could be running over someone, scoring a touchdown...anything. Jeopardy takes the cake, though.
Back to the point. Bettis is pulling out all the stops in his new autobiography, entitled, The Bus. My Life in and out of a Helmet. The co-author is ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski, so I've already lost an incredible amount of respect for the book.
Bettis lets readers in on the aspects of his time in Pittsburgh that haven't been told to this point. Here's some key points, as brought to light by Ed Bouchette:
- He faked a knee injury in training camp of 2000, because Kevin Gilbride loved Richard Huntley, and the Steelers couldn't release Bettis once he got hurt. Well played, seeing as how the Steelers were forced to keep Bettis, and he responded by putting up 1,341 rushing yards.
- Bettis says Cowher and the organization didn't want to pay Kordell the big bucks after he made the Pro Bowl in 2001. "You bench your Pro Bowl quarterback for a guy who had been out of football for years (Maddox), who hadn't started an NFL game in 10 seasons?" Bettis wonders in his book. "That just doesn't happen by accident." Sorry Jerome, but I think I side with Cowher/the organization on that one.
- Maddox and the passing game were the chief reason the Steelers failed in the 2002 playoffs. Pittsburgh football under Cowher was built on the run. No surprise there.
- Bettis didn't like the team cutting Tim "The Bus Driver" Lester in 1999. I disagreed with this move as well. Every good running back needs a fullback that they're comfortable with. As good as LaDainian Tomlinson is today, he owes much of his success to Lorenzo Neal.
- Bettis had an emergency appendectomy in 1999. The best part was the team telling Bettis to keep it quiet, so he was forced to sign in under the alias, Tex Goldstein. For those of you wondering, this is Tex Goldstein.
- According to Bettis, Amos Zereoue wasn't a hard worker. According to PSaMP Amos Zereoue would trip over his own feet when out in the open field. Not really juicy, Jerome.
- Bettis didn't like being booed in 2004, when he replaced Duce Staley in a goal line situation. I'm sure that was all cleared up during his final home game, against the Lions, where JB scored 3 touchdowns (I was at that game, he could've had 5 or 6) and fans lost their minds to every "Thanks, Jerome" montage that was shown on the big screen (there was about 100 of these).
- Finally, for the little racist in all of us, Jerome was ashamed that his alma mater, Notre Dame, fired Tyrone Willingham after only 3 years. For the record, Willingham was 21-15 at Notre Dame, and endured 5, 30+ point blowout losses in Ty's 3-year tenure. Those numbers aren't all that successful, especially when people put Notre Dame on such a pedestal and there is such a commitment to winning. I'm no Notre Dame fan (I actually despise them), but 21-15 isn't really Notre-Dame-esque.
So Jerome succeeded in giving us a little dirt on or favorite football team, but nothing too risque. Us fans are always fed the bullshit line that "First and foremost, football is a business." I can't stand when players say that. Actually, first and foremost, football is a game. Players are so non-committal to the fans of a certain city if they can cash in with a bigger payday somewhere else. We are supposed to just grin and bear the fact that this happens in a business. In a way, I'm not going to get all heated at the Steelers for wanting to release Bettis several years before he retired. Looking back now, its easy to say that Bettis is right, because he has his ring to back him up. However, at the time, Richard Huntley/Amos Zereoue seemed like viable alternatives to the aging Bettis.
I love Bettis and all he's done for the city and organization. I just won't criticize my hometown team for wanting to release the now-surefire HOFer. If football really is a business first, then Jerome should have expected a release as he got up there in age. I'm just glad that he wanted to stay in Pittsburgh, and he did whatever it took to stay.
And if you were wondering, the answer to the Jeopardy question is Terry Bradshaw.
If this was any other team/player/situation combination, everyone from the fans to the players to the organization would be sweating. A former consensus #1 prospect slips to the middle of the first round, and now is pulled away from Team Canada in the Super Series versus Team Russia.
But its the Penguins, the most-stocked-with-badass-youth-stud-players team in the league. Esposito's groin injury won't cripple a team that returns guys named Crosby, Malkin, Staal and MAF. Even the 2nd tier players, guys like. Esposito's groin injury will keep him out of the Super Series, but should give him ample time to rehab and prepare to possibly make the team when the season opens.
And the injury is said to be a sprain, so why not hold Esposito out of a seemingly pointless game (to an American, at least) in order to have him healthy for the upcoming '07 season? I'm sure people in Canada are weeping, and Russians are pleased as punch, but as a Penguins fan, I couldn't be more happy. If it is just a strain , there is no need to jeopardize a potentially stellar young career with Pittsburgh for a Super Series, Canada vs. Russia mega-matchup.
If you are Canadian of Russian, I don't mean to offend you or your sports customs. This is just coming from a guy who is more heavily invested in his hometown Pens than he is with a so-called Super Series. I'm sure this has great meaning in your respective countries, but here in the 'Burgh, we just wanna make sure our first round draft pick is ready for camp.
The Super Series would only hamper Esposito's chances to make a speedy recovery.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
All condolences must go out to the family of my best buddy, Bob. Over the weekend, his grandmother, Patricia Jesek, passed away.
Patricia was the oft-forgotten adopted daughter of Art "The Chief" Rooney. Actually, she was Art's niece, whom he adopted and raised along with his 5 sons. That also made her the sister/cousin of currently-in-charge-Dan Rooney.
According to Bob, Art called Patricia his, "jewel."
What, you didn't know Art had a daughter? Now you know.
She battled cancer late in her life, and even had her voice box removed.
I was lucky enough to meet her before her voice box was removed, and she was truly a unique and caring individual. I know how much my buddy and his family cared for her, and saying that she'll be missed is an understatement.
All the condolences and sympathy that PSaMP can give go to Patricia's family, especially her children, Pat, Carrie and Kathleen. You will be in my prayers.
Rest in Peace and watch over your family, Patricia.
Apparently, this sign of defensive solidarity was not enough to get Dick LeBeau onto the Senior ballot for the Hall of Fame. LeBeau's name was left off the list of 17 greats. Those 17 will be whittled down to 2 players who will forever be enshrined in Canton.
I was excited to see the team unite around LeBeau by wearing his Lions jersey to the Hall of Fame game against the Saints, and hoped it would have been enough to get the attention of the seniors committee. LeBeau's time as a defensive back are only rivaled by his career as an assistant coach who ushered in the era of the zone blitz.
Unfortunately, the committee felt that at least 17 guys were better than LeBeau. Those numbers aren't too positive for LeBeau, as 15 of those will be denied this year, but will most likely be back in the coming years. It seems like Dick has been waiting forever, and there is no end to that wait in sight.
Ed Bouchette also bring sup LC Greenwood as a name that should be HOF-worthy. Greenwood made it onto the seniors committee 17 this year, as last year was LC's final year of modern eligibility. Hopefully, LC makes it into Canton soon, thus opening a potential spot on the seniors committee for LeBeau.
It really is a travesty that guys like Greenwood and LeBeau aren't already in those hallowed halls. Art Monk as well (see, I'm not always a major homer). The Steelers get a lot of flak for having so many enshrinees. However, if a team is as dominant as the Steelers, they deserve all the HOFers they can generate.
All the support goes to Greenwood, and PSaMP has high hopes for Dick LeBeau next year.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Quick summary: Keisel nearly pulled a Kimo, Todd Collins dissected the starting D, LaMarr Woodley and Deshea Townsend are on a mission, Carey Davis is a beast and Conner Hughes is making Jeff Reed look over his shoulder (which he probably already does, in order to take Motorola Razor-cameraphone pictures of the top of his fanny). Steelers squeak past the 'Skins, 12-10. Eat it, MattyG.
I needed to get that out, because I would've forgotten it otherwise.
I spent most of the game disgusted, because the combination of Jason Campbell/Todd Collins made the new Steelers D look like a Pop Warner team. Sure, Deshea and LaMarr brought some pressure, and Troy Polamalu looked good, but either the coverage was terrible, or the Redskins are going to convert 3rd downs at a record pace this season.
Despite completion after completion (mostly to Chris Cooley), the defense stepped up when needed, especially evident on Woodley's sack to force a Redskins punt. Todd Collins, however, hit Brandon Lloyd to put The Redskins up, 7-0.
The offense continued the recent cold streak, and used ill-timed Washington mistakes to sustain the most successful drive of the night, a 15 play drive that resulted in a field goal to end the first half.
Charlie Batch and Brian St. Pierre kept the team in the game late, allowing Connor Hughes (who?) to kick 3 fourth quarter field goals to defeat the home team and up the preseason record to 2-1.
Ben Roethlisberger. If I were a betting man, I'd put money on the potential captain being critiqued in a good many MMCNYs. This was our first chance to see him play for more than a drive, and I'm still left with a good many questions. Why couldn't the team convert from the 3 yard line at the end of the half? Ben finished 8 for 12 with 87 yards, so on paper, Ben looked decent. When Tomlin felt the team was "out-tempoed," he let Ben go no-huddle, which resulted in the first team's only points. However, it should have been 7 and not only 3, so I'll give Ben 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets.
Willie Parker. Not much to say. 4 yards on 4 carries. He says he's healthy. I believe him. 3 of 5 helmets.
Wood and Timmons. Lawrence got his first taste of the NFL. LaMarr got his first sack. We must remember that Timmons is a rookie, and his progress will come. Woodley has just shown a rather quick adjustment to speed of the NFL version of the game. Timmons has a bright future, and its unfair to label him a bust. He will come around and turn some heads. Woodley is already starting to do that. 4 of 5 combined motorcycle helmets for the duo.
Todd Collins. It's gotta be tough to be Mark Brunell, especially when Todd Collins gets the nod when Campell goes down with a knee injury. Then , the journeyman responds by hitting on 10 of his 13 attempts for 74 yards and a score. And this was mostly against the first team defense. Collins gets much respect, and 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.
Connor Hughes. Won the game. 3 of 3 motorcycle helmets, for obvious reasons.
Carey Davis. He needs to make the team. Didn't get any carries, which still leaves me scratching my head, but did catch 3 balls for 17 yards. The Steelers could use that little 5.7 yards per catch that Davis brought last night. Plus, dude is hittin' some people in the mouth on special teams. If he keeps making standout special teams tackles, Tomlin will recognize and the carries will come. I gotta give him 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets. Some of his greatness is below:
Preseason legend in the making?
Feel free to point out any of your own observations/critiques/personal favorites.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
This cool small pony is named Peanut.
I was a tiny kid when I was real young, partly due to my premature-ness, and Mr. Keeler, a neighbor from down the street in Christy Park, used to call me Peanut.
You rule, Peanut. Cool name!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Say those two words, and chills run through the collective spine of Steelers Nation.
The Terrible Fan. Stevie Steeler.
Say either of those two names, and you will receive high five after high five.
Many people knew the Terrible Fan. He looked like a giant Twinkie, and roamed Three Rivers as an unofficial mascot. When his tenure ended, he successfully used his platform to inform young kids about School Bus Safety. I vividly remember the lessons he brought to St. Edward parochial school. He also wore a stellar chinchilla.
Stevie Steeler was a much more mysterious cat. From 1983-1991, Stevie could be spotted at Steelers games, pumping up all Yinzers in attendance. But who was this ugly, childish creature?
Current City Councilman, Doug Shields, please stand up.
"I needed the money. It was honest work," said Shields, 54, of Squirrel Hill, the city's council president who 20 years ago was dabbling in theater. "It's certainly an eye-opener on your resume."
He wasn't exactly a grizzled steel worker. He resembled a pale Cabbage Patch Kid, who was forced into child labor at the mills.
In my own personal opinion, I think Shields should don the Stevie guise again, and go toe to toe with
Bill Cowher Steely McBeam. There has been way too much dialogue in the 'Burgh regarding mascots lately (a lot of it done by me), and Stevie should just rise up, slay Steely, and take back his throne.
Another picture of Doug...er, Stevie, is below.
As is par for the course, I tried to whittle down the VotW nominees to just one, but had trouble with that simple feat. Actually, it is really one visitor who was VotW-worthy, and one I had to post because of my own narcissism.
The true VotW is above. I wouldn't have even cared if this awesome googling didn't lead to PSaMP, because its too good to pass up. "Davenport shit closet" is something that Michiganians (Michiganites?, Michigons?) really need to know about. Come to think of it, people in Michigan have no relation to the Dump Truck. He was born in North Carolina. He played collegiate ball at Miami. He took a dump at Barry University. His pro career has taken him to Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. No Michigan connection that I could find. Well...other than just wanting to find out about the oddest/coolest instance involving a current NFL player.
This visitor isn't really VotW-worthy, but I needed to post it because it boosts my own little ego. When I started PSaMP, I was writing for the 2-to-3 people who would dominate the Blogger navbar at the top of the page. Seeing people in England who search for news about little-old Pittsburgh really makes me smile. Honestly, why would people in North Ayrshire really care about Pittsburgh? Obviously, for the little horses.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Really small horses are awesome. Zachariah is a really small horse.
According to this site, the large horse is named Strawberry, and is meeting with cool tiny Zachariah. Granted, Zach is a baby, but the difference between the two horses is four feet! Imagine meeting someone who was four feet taller than you! I'd probably shart if that happened.
Zachariah didn't shart. He acted taller than his frame, and stood out amidst his larger company. Well played, Zachariah! For that, I bestow upon you the honor of being the MPotD.
You might not know it, Steelers fans, but this is Lawrence Timmons, your first round draft pick in the year 2007.
He is trying to prove that he can be a welcome addition to a team that is emphasizing a change to a 4-3 defense. If done properly, Timmons could play a vital role as a dominant linebacker. There is one obstacle that is preventing this from happening. That obstacle is Lawrence Timmons' groin.
I never thought I would type that. Ever.
To this point, Timmons has shown us fans absolutely nothing since the team drafted him back in April. In the time that Timmons should have been proving himself on the practice field, he has instead become a fixture on the bench. All while he's been riding the pine, second rounder LaMarr Woodley has filled in nicely. In fact, more people are discussing LaMarr Woodley's bright future rather than Timmons'. I am one of those people.
The pundits said the Steelers took Timmons too early. I try to look on the bright side, but Timmons hasn't showed me anything. Correction, he has showed me that he is oft-injured, and isn't a speedy recoverer (don't know if that is a word, but I'll use it anyway). Hopefully, his elongated absence is more precautionary than anything.
But chin up, Steelers fans. This weekend's game against the Redskins will provide you with a chance to see Mr. Timmons in action. This comes fresh on the heels of Bill Parker announcing that he, too, will be ready to play. Rejoicing can be heard throughout Steelers Nation.
Coach Tomlin also stated that the first team should play more against Washington. Thank God.
Without the extra playing time, Ben can shrug his shoulders and blame the lack of cohesiveness on his short outing. We are halfway done with the preseason, and there are still a lot of questions to be answered. Can Ben look good for more than a minute? Will Bill Parker rebound from his knee injury in camp? And most importantly, how the hell will Lawrence Timmons look?
The Skins game should shed some light on how the team might/will look once the season starts. Ben will play more, significantly cutting into his cheerleader routine. Fast Bill will see if his fifth gear is finally back. And Lawrence Timmons will show us who he is.
Good to finally meet you, Mr. Timmons. Now show us what ya got.
If you haven't checked out the leaked Steelers hotel demands, then you should probably head over to The Smoking Gun now.
Most of the guidelines are pretty normal. The team is only allowed to use Heinz ketchup. Would you really expect the Steelers to blast one of their biggest sponsors by eating some off-brand tomato mixture?
Others demands...not so normal. No phone calls are allowed into players' rooms after 11 P.M., although the players are allowed to phone out. Dan Rooney, Art Rooney and Mike Tomlin need concierge escorts to their respective rooms. Dan also gets foam rubber pillows, whatever those are. An omelet station is required, as is 35 copies of the local daily newspaper. NO ALCOHOL! AT ALL!
Toothpicks for take-out are a must. Chidi Iwuoma and Chukky Okobi obviously need to be placed together in room 906, thus creating the greatest-named roommates in the history of humans. And, Joel Steed and Brenden Stai are still mentioned in the sample room list. Seems like the Rooneys can't erase these great players from their minds/hotel demands.
For more fun facts and interesting tidbits, check out the entire document at TSG. It really lets us "normies" see how the other half lives.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
To make up for the lack of a MPotD yesterday, I present you a video today.
The song is unexpected/kinda funny.
I'm sorry. I truly am.
I needed to apologize for not being able to post yesterday, which included the absolutely rare omission of a tiny horse of the day. Internet access has been shaky at best for the past several days, and yesterday included no internet. At all. I'm hoping it doesn't kick out while I'm writing this, because at this point, I've prepared myself to expect anything.
But I'm back. And so is Fast Bill. Appropriate timing, #39.
Fast Bill's 10-day absence was felt by a much larger audience than my small sabbatical. However, Parker will make his preseason debut against the Redskins on Saturday night.
"I think I'm ready now," Parker said after going through a full afternoon practice. "I'm 100 percent. It's the other things I need to work on, like the plays. I'm trying to get that back in my memory bank."
Parker wanted to play last week, but was held out for preventative reasons. His acceleration was down, and I don't fault Tomlin for holding him out of an extra game.
With Fast Bill in the lineup, I have to say that the Skins have no chance (take that, MattyG). My buddy is a huge Skins fan, and he went to college with me at St. Vincent. Nothing like a Skins fan (or any other fan, for that matter) at Steelers training camp.
I'm anxious to see what kind of RB depth chart Tomlin uses. Bill will be playing approximately 20 snaps with the first team. Najeh is sure be up there, with Verron Haynes and Kevan Barlow also filtering in. Gary Russell looked strong last week, and Carey Davis proved himself the week before. Will Davis see more playing time this week? Or will Iron Mike reward Russell for his 6.2 yards per average against the Pack?
Good to have you back, Bill. You presence will add another dynamic element to the offense (who needs to rebound after last week).
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sorry for the lack of posting so far today. My internet won't connect.
I'm not ignoring you on purpose. I swear...
dominated by tecmo at 2:58 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007
I'm proud to share my birthday with the greatest group of human beings ever assembled. Spanning the ages, us 13thers have kicked some ass. Here's my homage to those who came before, and those that are still here crampin' my style.
Fidel Castro (1926) - I don't care if your duties have been transferred to your brother Raul, in my mind, you still rule.
Danny Bonaduce (1959) - Congratulations on openly taking steroids and getting less heat than Barry Bonds. Well played, oh red-haired one.
Marty Turco (1975) - In the regular season, you're a beast. Too bad they don't give out Stanley Cups at the end of the regular season.
Mark Lemke (1965) - For some reason, I cherished your baseball cards. I didn't even know you were born on my birthday then. I thought you were awesome. You fooled me. However, you were the inspiration for Homestar Runner. That boggles my mind.
Don Ho (1930) - Rest in Peace. I, too, dig tiny bubbles.
Ben Hogan (1912) - The original Tiger. Also known as The Man.
Theophilus Howard, 2nd Earl of Suffolk (1584) - Dominated the Second Charter of Virginia. Also dominated Catherine Knyvet of Charlton.
Jay Buhner (1964) - I had your Bowman Rated Rookie card, and thought it was the coolest because it had a gold cup on it. I was young, and that was one of my first rookie cards. Mariners for life!
Annie Oakley (1860) - Shot some guns.
Phil "The Power" Taylor (1960) - One Hundred and Eighty! Since this is text-only, I guess I have to describe that. I said that in an enthusiastic English voice, like on the World Series of Darts. But you knew that...
Heinrich, count von Brühl (1700) - Dude had twelve tailors, and wore a new suit every day. This fly noble made sure he was always in fresh threads. Innovative.
Shani Davis (1982) - I think you're black.
Katharine Close (1992) - You spelled Ursprache (Blogger spell-check fails to acknowledge this word) to win the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee. Lucky for you, because Mike & Mike weren't there yet.
Brittany Andrews (1973) - The only other females on this list so far are the Spelling Bee winner and Annie Oakley. You are a pornstar. Well done.
Arnulf of Metz (582) - Holding down the saintly angle. You are the patron saint of brewing. I couldn't thank you more.
Dan Fogelberg (1951) - You got a mention in BASEketball. I didn't. Fogelberg: 1, PSaMP: 0.
Corey Patterson (1979) - I needed to boost your spirits, since you play for the Orioles. Happy birthday, buddy!
Eric Medlen (1973) - Rest in Peace. You were taken too early in that unfortunate drag racing accident back in March. You were a courageous sonuvabitch. Seemed like a good guy.
Aradia de Toscano (1313) - Cool witch. Can you honestly claim that?
Boone Logan (1984) - Boone was ... looking to make his first all-star team in the 2007 MLB season.
Happy birthday to all these spotlight vultures.
Yes, that is a stock pixture.
Y'all might not hear from me today. Maybe I'll drop by with a cool little horse at some point. Maybe...
dominated by tecmo at 12:27 AM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Hooray! Here's a special Sunday evening edition of Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker. Technically, it works, seeing as how the game was yesterday. Also, your hard-working part-time Pittsburgh blogger might not make it around tomorrow. I have my reasons.
We lost. Simple as that. All the positives from last week went down the tubes, so its time to call it even, and start from scratch.
Like an escape tunnel in prison, I started from scratch...
If you know what that is, you rule. It seemed to fit.
I, personally, had an awesome time at the game. Win or lose, Steelers atmosphere is the best. I went with my buddy Bob and his pal Kev. Me and Bob had a great time. Kev would've had a great time as well, but the (hick-ish) family sitting next to him talked at great lengths about everything under the sun. To Kevin. Who they never met before. Many a knowing/hilarious glare was passed through section 521.
I even saw an old college friend who moved to another school. I hadn't seen him in a couple years, but their he was, climbing the ramps of the closed end of the stadium with right with us. For sheer fun, long-lost Craig gets 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets!
The Steelers scored the first 9 points in the game. Sweet. The Pack scored the final 13. Not so sweet. In my usual (still tentative) fashion, I'll pick several of the bright spots, while also acknowledging the warts.
Ben Roethlisberger. He finished 2 for 2. A 100 percent completion rate is nothing to gripe about. However, Ben looked out of rhythm. One of the completions was low, and the much-lauded no-huddle looked shabby. I want Ben to play more, and I know this will happen as the preseason wears on. However, the preseason doesn't last forever, and Ben needs to get more reps. 3 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Ben.
Walter Young. Touchdown, baby. WY's been my guy (here, too.) I've been wanting him to make the team for the past few camps. The dude is 6'4, 220. He shows flashes of brilliance at odd times, then disappears. He averaged 17 yards a catch last season (although I will concede that he only had one catch last season). WY finished with 2 catches for 50 yards and a score. That score covered 41 yards, where WY bounced off a would-be tackler and made his way to the house. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the PSaMP fave.
Gary Russell. 6.2 yards per carry average. That's a hardcore number. Unfortunately for fellow PSaMP fave Carey Davis, there was only 60 minutes in the game. Davis did, however make the tackle on the opening kickoff. Here's to versatility, baby. Russell led the team with 9 carries, and seemed to hit the holes he was given. His 9 touches included a 19 yard scamper. Next week, Tomlin could surprise everyone by reversing the Davis/Russell roles. Russell played smart, and didn't waste his opportunity. Since Davis made it into Russell's mention, he gets at least 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets, while Russell pulls in 4 of 5 of his own.
Deee-Fense. The first team looks sick. The offense struggled last night. Everyone knows that. The defense made the game winnable. The sacks aren't where I'd like them to be, but Brett Favrve was under some serious pressure (see above photo. I'd lay mean skidmarks in my gutchies if I saw a Samoan blur like that). Two games in the books, and the first team hasn't allowed a touchdown. First string opposing QBs Brees (6 yards) and Favre (7 yards) have combined for 13 total passing yards. The run defense was not as flattering, but I'll sacrifice the run defense for the current pass defense. For now. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the first team, 3 of 5 overall.
Mason Crosby. Threw ya for a loop. I had to mention Crosby, PSaMP's draft pick in Awful Announcing's Sportsbloggers Mock Draft. The guy kicked a 52 yard field goal into the open end of the Big Ketchup Bottle. Deserving of a quick mention and 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets. He missed out on the fifth helmet by kicking the FG against the Steelers.
Have a good Monday if I don't see you.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
dominated by tecmo at 7:11 PM
No real underlying reason as to why this picture made it as MPotD. I needed a picture of a little horse, and this picture stepped up to the plate.
I'll be sure to send a cool panoramic picture of Heinz Field once I get to the stadium. Well, as panoramic as my awful LG-VX5200 allows.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Man, I really don't remember if I used this picture before. If I did, I allow you to ridicule me to no end. Then I will change it.
In totally unrelated news, I might make it out to the Steelers preseason game tomorrow night against the Pack. Email me if you're going and want to meet up for a quick chat.