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Monday, June 30, 2008

Passion Beat Mayhem, Advance To Eastern Conference Finals!

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The win streak has reached 22 games.

The Passion destroyed the Orlando Mayhem in their first-round playoff game, 41-6. Thanks to loyal reader smarchit for the info.

Despite heavy rain, Lisa Horton threw two long touchdowns to deep-threat Lori Johnson. The TDs were 48 and 63 yards respectively.

Longtime PSaMP friend and Passion running back Torina Henley doubled her season totals by rushing for 3 touchdowns. While not as prolific as last season, and even through contemplating retirement after last season's championship, Torina showed she still has game, finishing with 92 yards in the rain.

The Eastern Conference Finals are in two weeks, and the Passion will travel to Chicago to play the Force. Success in that game will pit the Passion against either the West's Seattle Majestics or Dallas Diamonds on July 26th.

Also, thanks to Torina for emailing me the above picture (from an older game against the Cleveland Fusion of the NWFA) as well as the link to this video. My skills fail to let me embed this video, but click the link to check it out.

Go Passion!

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The Saturday Evening Post Rules

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I guess this image effectively ushers in the A.J. "The Balls" Daulerio era at Deadspin.

I was visiting my parents this weekend with my sister Kate, her fiancee Matt (also here) and my other sister Hannah. I was a history major in college, and Matt is also a huge history buff/nerd. My folks brought out an old issue of The Saturday Evening Post (April 11, 1953), one that I had seen countless times in my youth for Matt to check out. However, it was in flipping through this old issue that I saw the above image.

I guess times were simpler in 1953. The ad wizards who came up with this one clearly overlooked a few chuckle-inducing aspects of the picture.

"Have More Fun" indeed.

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Mini Pony of the Day 6-30-08

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Today's MPotD comes from former Ladies... writer and PSaMP friend Holly.

Although I love me some Vitamin Water, I've yet to see this commercial on t.v. Carrie Underwood is now my new favorite person in the world. You can sing awful country to me anytime, Carrie. Screw Tony Romo.

I heard Carrie Underwood was chirping about these following links:

From last week, but still one of the funniest loljocks. [Loljocks]

While we're at it, here's one for you Euro 2008 fans. [Loljocks]

Race relations, as only NoISB can bring it to you. [Nation of Islam Sportsblog]

Halfway through the season, and the Tigers are finally over .500. See, Pirates, .500 can happen. [The Big Tilde]

In case you hadn't heard, Roberts and Malone are now Lightning(s?). [Empty Netters]

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Evgeny Grachev Wants To Be Like Evgeni Malkin

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Wanna feel old today?

Evgeny Grachev, drafted by the Rangers in the third round last week, made sure everyone knows the player he's trying to emulate.

Evgeni Malkin.

Grachev is 18. Malkin is 21, soon to be 22. I can't think of any 18 year old wanting to be like me when I was 21. Except for the kids who couldn't get served at the bar. But even then, it was a totally different emulation.

This shows just how far our young stars have come in the past 2 seasons or so. We could easily attribute failure to having a young team, or the fact that our players weren't battle-tested. Not anymore. What with Sid destroying last year's NHL awards ceremony and Malkin finishing second in the MVP race this year, its easy for top prospects to admire the kids. Couple that with the recent Finals appearance, and you've got heroes who struggle with growing facial hair.

Sure, Grachev and Malkin are countrymen and have similar builds, but I'd attribute Grachev's respect of Malkin to Geno's on-ice accomplishments.

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Mini Pony of the Day 6-27-08

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Yes!

I know I end up saying that for about 9 out of every 10 MPotDs, but its usually the first thing that pops into my head. Gimme something else to say, other than "yes," or "sweet," or "awesome," and I'll do it. But until then, these will have to do.

This unreal miniature horse would read these links if he knew how to read:

Blog Show might be over, but Steinz and Mottram reunited for a bit. [Mister Irrelevant]

Buy Bob Wickman's pants for $30? Best. Investment. Ever? [The 3 Idiots on Sports]

Mike Wilbon doesn't change. His clothes, that is. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

I need two people to chime in and agree to play 3-man beer pong with me. [PhillyBurbs.com blog]

Yup, I'm in Meeting People Is Easy again. [One For The Other Thumb]

Applause to Will Leitch, as today is his last day at Deadspin. Here's some fantastic interviews with him. [TalkingHeadTV]

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Blue Jays Fans Are Creative, Classy

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Baseball fans are unique. And original.

Let's get specific, and single out some of our Canadian fan-brothers (if that's even a word). The last interleague series we played prior to the current Yankees series involved another AL East team, the Toronto Blue Jays. I'll forever respect the Jays solely for the Joe Carter home run to win the World Series. Their fans...not so much.

With Freddy Sanchez up to bat, these geniuses decide to give up on the name Freddy, and instead, use the term Dirty Sanchez (language NSFW).

Excuse me while I laugh for a few minutes.

"Ooooh, his first name ends in a Y and his last name is Sanchez. I wonder how we can make something hilarious out of this?"

It was funny the first time. It was funny the second time. Hell, it was funny the third. By now, though, I'm sick of losers thinking they're so damn original by chanting "Dir-ty San-chez."

And according to the Youtube page, these idiots were sitting right in front of Freddy's wife and two kids when they proved how hardass they were. Real classy, dicks. I hope Freddy shows up at their cubicles next week chanting, "Micro-managed, corporate-slaves making minimum wa-ge."

At least they coulda got creative and gone with some of these:

"Ilich Ramírez Sán-chez"

"Ros-elyn Sán-chez"

or even

"Matt San-chez"

Do some research next time, jerks.

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Mini Pony of the Day 6-26-08

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C'mon, three of a kind...

What will the river hold?

After gambling away all his money, this mini pony left the casino and read these links:

An update on Euro 2008, and just how close some teams were to not making the cut. [Digital Headbutt]

Former Bucco Shawn Chacon was suspended indefinitely by the Astros. [You Been Blinded]

An unreal photo of Gary Roberts. Plus some Gary Roberts jokes, to send him into the non-Pittsburgh sunset [The Sweater Ted]

You could buy adult-sized Big Wheels before they were discontinued. They might be making a comeback. Read the "Adult Size - Chopper County" description. "Badass not included." [Big Wheel Rally Store]

John Kruk Celebrity Roast. [The Fightins']

An interview with the Ballhype founder. [The Big Picture]

The petition for Marian Hossa to stay with the Pens. Sign it. I did. [Please Stay Hossa]

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Turning Point? Please?

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Gotta show love for Rick Chandler today.

In Deadspin's MLB Closer, Rick asks:


Wouldn't it be ironic — in a fun, cosmic sort of way — if the turning point for the Pittsburgh Pirates' franchise came on Tuesday night? It was the first time since 1960 that the New York Yankees had played in Pittsburgh, when, as you surely recall, Bill Mazeroski won Game 7 of the World Series with one of the most dramatic walkoff homers in baseball history. The Pirates celebrated that day 48 years ago with another win on Tuesday; 12-5, featuring 19 hits and homers by Jose Bautista and Ryan Doumit.


In light of last night's drubbing of the Yanks, the question seems fit. Pat at WHYGAVS admits that the win feels like more than just a win...maybe not season-changing, but special enough. We've suffered through a stretch of losing baseball rarely seen in the MLB. One more year of this bullshit, and we tie the Phillies, yes, the 10,000+ loss Phillies, for the record of 16 consecutive losing seasons. So why couldn't last night be the turning point?

I'm a relatively young guy, but I've been blessed to see the Pens win multiple Stanley Cups and the Steelers get that one for the thumb. I'm not predicting a World Series win in the near future, but damn it I wanna see it happen. Now, we need much smaller goals at this point...win streaks, .500 baseball, consistent pitching...but the goal of every team should be to win it all.

We entered last night's game with the worst interleague record in history, and fittingly, were playing the team with the best interleague record in history. I'm not going to pretend the fans of the Buccos know anything about the MLB playoffs thanks to the string of sucktitude, but beating the Yanks the way we did last night felt awesome.

I've told you about the group of people who gather in NYC to watch the Pens games before. Myself and a good number of the same people do the same for Buccos games. Since I've moved to New York, I haven't been able to watch as much baseball as I would like, what with starting new jobs and all. But last night, one guy summed up what we were all feeling when he said, "If we win tonight, this is our World Series." There's no better way to say it. The Buccos won a playoff game (in our minds, at least). We showed that our offense is legit, if at least for one night. Why can't this be the 15-year-old spark needed?

To be honest, I really don't know where I'm going with this post. The Pirates played awesome, a bunch of us actually felt good watching a Pirates game, Rick asked a similar question to what we were all thinking in a Manhattan pub on a Tuesday night, and I really want nothing more than to see that little bit of success duplicated.

So come on, Buccos. End our suffering, please? Build off last nights win.




(Disclaimer: This post sucks and I know it. Direct hate mail to psampmail@gmail.com)

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Mini Pony of the Day 6-25-08

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Thanks to the millions (kidding) of readers who sent this one in. Off the top of my head, I can think of Al, Matthew, Kate G...I know I'm forgetting a bunch. If you're not mentioned, a digital fist bump goes your way.

Thumbelina, the mini pony in the picture, sponsors today's links:

Pogo Balls are unreal. [Deuce of Davenport]

That link gives me permission to mention this video. I plan on doing this in Union Square. [Youtube]

Hockey on ESPN will suffer without Barry Melrose, but this was a classy send-off. [Awful Announcing]

Who will replace The Mullet at tWWL? [Sean from Going Five Hole on Puck Daddy]

There are always players on other teams that you can't not like. Clinton Portis is one of 'em. [DC Sports Bog]

Sneaky bastard. [With Leather]

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Thanks For Everything, Gary Roberts!

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Photo appropriately lifted from The Pensblog.

Moment of silence, as Gary Roberts has apparently played his last game for the Penguins.

...

Although I knew this was bound to happen, what with the tight cap space and all, its still sad to see such a beloved player leave your hometown team. Hell, Jagr played in the 'Burgh for 11 seasons and left with less tears in the eyes of Pittsburghers than with the departure of Roberts, who played a total of 57 regular season games in the black and gold.

Malkin needs a contract. MAF needs one soon. Orpik should get paid, provided he stays. Gary Roberts is old. I hate myself for trying to justify this, but we need to stay positive. We're no longer an inexperienced team who needs older wingers to help the kids along. Its time for the young players to step up.

I'm most curious about who will fill that tough, hard-around-the-edges spot on the wing. Roberts is gone. Ryan Malone is likely out the door. If Ruutu is re-signed, could he show the constraint needed to fill that void? Time will tell.

Oh, and sucks to be this dude on Craigslist, tryin' to sell a Roberts stick in Pittsburgh.


i got an untaped gary roberts stick it is in mint condition...... serious replies only call me 412-969-XXXX we can meet to make deal cash only.....! or feel free to write me.





Good luck, buddy.

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Mini Pony of the Day 6-24-08

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Today's MPotD comes from Carolyn. Its a newborn, and if you ask me, its pretty badass. Look how young and awesome this little horse is! Unreal.

Remember, send your mini pony pictures or videos, or any useful link to psampmail@gmail.com for future MPotDs.

This little guy totally approves of the following links:

Granny basketball. Hot. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Terry Bradshaw used steroids, but only from doctors to heal. [Fanhouse]

Is there a sniper at Euro 2008? [The Sports Hernia]

So is it Geno or Gino? I'm still confused. [The Sidney Crosby Show]

The Yankees have already swept the Pirates. Without even playing a game. Sounds about right. [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

MJD want to see Jerry Rice's daughter's thighs. [MJD's Shutdown Corner]

Ty Cobb could sell energy drinks? [Futon Report, from Fark]

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Monday, June 23, 2008

Foreshadowing, Brought To You By Roberto Clemente

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Spooky, huh?

I know its easy to make a claim that you never know when your time may be up in this world, but it sounds odd coming from a professional athlete. Nowadays, with so many players worried about contracts, injuries, playing well in contract years for bigger paydays down the road, endorsements, etc., its peculiar to think any of 'em might actually contemplate their own demise. Maybe this video shows how much the modern athlete has changed from his predecessor.

Or maybe Clemente was just that special of a guy.

We always hear of Clemente's skill and his incredible sense of compassion for disaster victims. However, his time was before that of Youtube (damn you, Al Gore), so actually seeing him talk of his own mortality is entirely spooky.

Clemente's head was in the right spot. He was a season away from his 3,000th hit, and knew it was still a distant possibility. He was injured throughout the '72 season, and his hit came in September, well after the All-Star break. Still, with such a historic achievement within grasp, Clemente knew that the plateau was still out of his hands. His untimely death is foreshadowed in this video, a thought that sends chills up my spine.

Roberto Clemente. Baseball player, humanitarian, hero, All-Star...clairvoyant?

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Mini Pony of the Day 6-23-08

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As promised last week, the new, revamped MPotD makes its debut today.

In case you were scared, nervous or just plain indifferent, there's going to be no real earth-shattering changes. I'm still going to give you a cool picture or video of a mini pony, but each mini pony is going to sponsor a handful of links. I tend to stay away from link dumps, but each MPotD will give you, the reader, a chance to read along with some of the articles in blogosphere that I'm reading every morning. I've been trying to update the MPotD for some time now, and tinkered with the idea of giving you links, some cool ass song to listen to, or something completely random. The links won out.

If you find a cool picture or video of a miniature horse or any interesting link (preferably sports-related, but anything will do), email me at psampmail@gmail.com and your selection will be used. Simple as that.

To kick off the new MPotD format (which is remarkably similar to the old one), we have the above video from Doug. Doug gave us the MPotD on Friday, and this is the video that accompanied that picture. Manheim, PA just got a lot cooler.

Today's MPotD approves these links:

Mike and the Mad Dog could be done. [Larry Brown Sports]

The LPGA rules! [Awful Announcing]

Nathan Moon, your newest Pittsburgh Penguin [Faceoff Factor]

Speaking of the NHL Draft, who was its Mister Irrelevant? [Wyshynski's Puck Daddy]

Rod Woodson loves 1987. [One For The Other Thumb]

R.I.P. George Carlin. [More Handy Than Capped]

Pitt Basketball, getting some love. [Pitt Blather]

Ian Snell, injured. [Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke?]

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Friday, June 20, 2008

State Farm, The MLB, Fuhbaw and One For The Other Thumb.

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Here's some stuff you should check out while you fritter away your Friday:

My buddy Cian had a solid post about chaos in the NFL, and even name dropped Dick LeBeau and the Steelers. You should probably frequent his site.

Also, head over to One For The Other Thumb, where I was a panelist again for Meeting People Is Easy.

And finally, check out the cool happenings going on with State Farm and the MLB. There's a contest going on called Call Your Shot. Sign up at the link I just provided, and you could win a trip to the Home Run Derby. If you pick a spot in the ballpark and said Derby contestant hits a home run to your spot, you could win tons of cool prizes including a Chevy Tahoe and season tickets for the 2008-09 season for the team of your choice.

I wonder how they'll get their hands on Buccos tickets, seeing as how there's never any empty seats at PNC.

Again, the link is here. Be sure to sign up.

Thanks to Abbey for sending me that link. Plus, if you win, I'll make a personal visit to meet you, being that I live in NYC and State Farm is trying to set you up with cushy accommodations in the city for the game. And that's better than a car and tickets, right?

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Passion Beat Divas, Clinch Second Straight Undefeated Season

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Congrats to the Passion, who defeated the D.C. Divas 17-12 this past weekend to finish the regular season undefeated. This marks back-to-back undefeated seasons in two separate leagues for the Passion. The win streak has hit 21 games.

The team was only one of two teams in the Eastern Conference to finish the season at 8-0.

With the win, the Passion will host a home playoff game on Saturday June 28th. They'll play the Orlando Mayhem, a team the Passion is completely unfamiliar with. Orlando went 7-1 this season. Should Pittsburgh win, the next round of the playoffs resumes on July 12th.

Here's all the regular season games wins, for your convenience:


Game 1: 62-0 win over Central PA Vipers

Game 2: 34-8 win over Boston Militia

Game 3: 38-34 win over D.C. Divas

Game 4: 38-0 win over Columbus Phantoms

Game 5: 28-0 win over Baltimore Nighthawks

Game 6: 28-21 win over New York Sharks

Game 7: 54-6 win over the Holyoke Hurricanes

Game 8: 17-12 win over D.C. Divas (above)



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Mini Pony of the Day 6-20-08

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I decided against a CMPotD for today because I found this in my inbox. It comes from good friend, Doug, who found cool small horses in Manheim, PA.

I promise more from Doug at the start of next week. CMPotD is about to be blown up, and a new MPotD format will be taking over.

That's called a tease.

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Best Defensive Outfielder In MLB History

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That is an image of the best outfielder in MLB history, according to Rawlings.

Recently, Rawlings announced the Gold Glove All-Time Team. The mashup at the top of this post takes the 3 outfielders and makes one super baseball player. The three honorees are Willie Mays, Ken Griffey Jr. and Pittsburgh's own Roberto Clemente.

And now you can have night terrors about that image.

The Pirates are planning on celebrating Clemente's inclusion at this Saturday's home game against the Blue Jays. Pittsburgh will host Clemente's widow, Vera, as well as Roberto's sons Roberto Jr. and Luis. Roberto Jr. will throw out the first pitch.

Clemente was a 12-time Gold Glove recipient during his 18 years as a Bucco. He helped pave the way for the modern Latin ballplayer and became an inspiration to Pittsburgh kids of all generations. Though I come from a different age group, I was taught at an early age to respect and admire anything Clemente-related. This is why I've wanted the league to retire Clemente's #21 league-wide.

And in case you were wondering, I used these pictures of Mays, Grif (classic)and Clemente. Horrifying.

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-19-08

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(originally published on 6-19-07)


Some days, I might think I'll never find a cool enough little horse for the MPotD. Then, I fire up that information superhighway, and it rarely fails me.

This awesome pony is named Daisy. The dog is named Freddie. I'd like to think that they both know how much they rule. I mean, look at Freddie's face. Its like he knows how efficient he is. And Daisy knows how useful he/she is (I'm guessing she).

A cool small horse and another little critter. A well-rounded example of a quality MPotD.


(Editor's note: Want a tip to finding the perfect MPotD? Anything involving multiple little horses or a mini pony along with another critter. They never fail.)

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Who Will Be The Penguins' Alternate Captains?

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I've told you before that I call my writing style at PSaMP "stream of consciousness sportsblogging." When I give you the MPotD (or CMPotD), I have no idea what I'm going to write about later that day regarding sports. Ill flip through the blogosphere, check some newspaper websites, Google News, Youtube, emailed tips from readers, whatever it takes to find something that sparks my interest. I can count on one hand (maybe two) the amount of times in the 15 or so months of PSaMP's existence that I've actually prepared a post prior to the day it gets published.

Writing like this can really stress me out at times, but I've been able to give my two cents on topics that I wouldn't have thought of had already prepared something. Case in point, this morning, I got my daily Pensblog read, which linked to Pens Nation (which is now making its way to the Wild Ass Links in my sidebar). On Pens Nation, their sidebar has a ton of information that you usually don't find on blogs: team captains, HOFers, free agents, trophy winners, etc. It was in looking at the team's current captain/alternate captains list that I came to a realization, could we potentially lose 75% of our alternates?

Sergei Gonchar is locked up. There is no way he loses the A next season. The other 3 might not even be in Pens unis next year. Ryan Malone seems to be on his way out. Pensblog asks if the $2.5 mil Sydor is owed next season could be better used elsewhere. Would Sydor be traded or let go? Gary Roberts made $2.5 mil this year, and could potentially retire or seek a one year contract for a similar amount elsewhere. As much as he's loved in Pittsburgh, these are the truths in hockey that fans have to understand.

That makes Gonchar the only sure alternate. Who gets the other 3 spots if Roberts, Sydor and Malone don't return and the team figures on keeping 4 revolving alternates?

Geno Gino. Apparently, its spelled with an I rather than an E. I'll still use Geno as a tag on posts mentioning Malkin to keep consistency, though. If the Pens don't trade the kid (I'm sick of hearing that nonsense, bullshit rumor), he'd have to be next in line to don the A. With Sid out this past season, Gino was the unspoken captain of the team, elevating his play to heights unseen. The weight of the A should ensure his continued upward progression by adding team responsibility.

Hossa. If he is indeed in line for a contract from Ray Shero, I'd imagine Hossa getting an A to go with the money. He could be a captain on several lowly clubs, a notion that might've scared potential suitors prior to this year's playoffs. He showed that he can perform with the spotlight on, and should proudly wear the A.

Sykora, Staal or Fleury. The last alternate is a tough one. I've ruled out any big name free agent (hinging on a potential Hossa contract), seeing how the tight money issue should nullify any chance of acquiring a free agent worthy of wearing the alternate's A. Long term contracts for both Staal and Fleury are still a thought for the future, as would be the addition of an A to their jerseys. Staal is still young, and could be an option down the road if Shero can find money for a contract for Staal. Fleury has played well, but his name might be a stretch. If its Sykora, that would make a Canadian captain and 4 European alternates (provided Gino and Hossa join Gonch).

Also, adding Gino would officially signal the new era of Pens stars. Prior to Malone getting the A this season, Mark Recchi joined Sydor, Gonch and Roberts. It was all about veteran leadership and experience. What with making the playoffs the past two seasons and suffering incredible heartbreak both times, I think the young stars have gained the experience to begin a new era of Pittsburgh dominance on ice. Giving Gino an A to compliment Sid's C would effectively tell the rest of the league that there's no more excuses revolving around youth inexperience, and our young stars are leading the way.

So, any thoughts on who might back up Sid in 08-09? I know I picked three forwards in Gino, Hossa and Sykora, but would a blueliner accompany Gonch?

Or will Shero find a way to keep as many of the current alternates as possible?

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-18-08

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(originally published on 6-18-07)


Coolest. Site. Ever.

Today's MPotD is lifted from the Personal Ponies Ltd. blog. What is PPL? Glad you asked.

PPL is dedicated to providing children with special needs a tiny Shetland Pony to love and care for -- completely without charge. Our ponies make magic in children's lives!

Awesome! Although the site hasn't been updated in some time, the mission is great!

Mini ponies. Being cool and helping special needs kids at the same time. PPL is very deserving of a spot as MPotD.


(Editor's note: One year later, and it still hasn't been updated. I want to know more of your exploits, PPL! Get back in the blogging game.)

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Rashard Mendenhall Doesn't Like Ron Zook, Illinois

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(picture blatantly stolen from Kiss 96.1)

From Foul Balls via Deadspin comes news that Steelers first round pick Rashard Mendenhall is not a fan of former coach Ron Zook. The story comes full circle for Pittsburgh fans, as their newest player is upset with a former Steelers special teams coach.

Foul Balls links to this article, and pulls some very interesting quotes:


"Everything always looks good on the outside," Mendenhall said. "Nobody really knows except for the people who are there and involved with it. The only thing being on the outside that you can know is what people allow you to know from talking to me or from talking to (Ron) Zook or anybody within the organization."

Bottom line for Mendenhall was that he didn't enjoy the season the way you think he might have.
"When you find things that were said, you can kind of read between the lines and see that everything wasn't as it appeared to be," Mendenhall said.


Mendenhall's current relationship with the Illinois football program can best be described as strained. You won't see him on the sidelines of Illinois games during the upcoming season. Or in future years either.

"To tell you the truth, as long as Ron Zook is there it will be hard for me to support the University of Illinois football team," Mendenhall said.

Reached Saturday afternoon, Zook said "I feel bad that he feels that way."


Wow, tough words for Zook and the Illinois program. I wonder what actually set him off? FB speculates about playing time for both Rashard and Rashard's brother, Walter, who just transferred out of the program.

Either way, Rashard Mendenhall won't be cheering his former team, or making any appearances at his alma mater.

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-17-08

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(originally published on 6-17-07)


I'm giving you another video, mainly because it rules.

I imagine this conversation to be something along the lines of this:

"What's up, bro?"
"Nothin' much. Hangin' out. Bein' cute. You?"
"Yeah, I got the whole cute thing goin' on, too."
"Being small rules."
"Yes. Yes it does."

Fin.


(Editor's note: That conversation would be between the first two cool little horses in the vid. I couldn't even begin to imagine how sweet the conversation would be when all the little horses got together at the end.)

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Monday, June 16, 2008

Let's Get Some Perspective On This "Tiger's Knee" Business

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This is not a knock against Tiger Woods. I find it impossible to root against the guy, as he is a rare superstar that consistently gets good press and love from the fans. Not even an MJ, A-Rod or Tom Brady could remain as socially bulletproof as Tiger. Brady has three Super Bowls, but the Brady lover and Brady haters cancel each other out. The Tiger haters are severely outnumbered, despite the fact that no one on this Earth can touch his talent level.

I can't hope he loses in today's US Open playoffs, although Rocco Mediate is the hometown kid. I went to college a stone's throw from Greensburg (Latrobe. Arnie Palmer, anyone?). So I'll be pulling for Rocco, but a win by Woods wouldn't cause me to run off into a hissyfit. Hell, halfway through yesterday's round, I went out and bought one of Tiger's G2 beverages (ed. - I just found out that Gatorade Tiger and G2 are two separate drinks upon returning from the store. Yesterday, I tried the 32 oz. Quiet Storm. Today, its the same-size Cool Fusion), primarily because I hadn't ever tried one and most reviews I had heard said it tasted like the opposite of absolute dog shit (absolute cat shit).

So you know where I stand. Until Tiger brutally murders a family of 4, he can do little to no wrong in my book.

With that being said, everyone needs to shut up with this bullshit surrounding Tiger's knee. Honestly, on a Google image seach for KNEE, Tiger appears in 7 pictures on the first 2 pages.

He's so courageous. I can't believe he's golfing with a sore knee.

Shut up. Shut up right now. With all the hooplah about Tiger's surgically-repaired right knee, I found myself constantly watching said knee to see if the damn thing was going to implode upon itself. Was he going to take a shot and have the bone rip through the skin based on the amount of twist his shot gets?

I'm no expert on golf. Sure, I've taken lessons, gotten to the course from time to time and absolutely love to hit the range, but I don't know the type toll 72 holes puts on the body. I'm no expert in surgery, too. Aside from a few oral surgeries when I was a tyke, I'm a stranger to scalpels and the like.

Still, I'm amazed by the press Tiger's knee has gotten. Tiger had arthroscopic knee surgery to repair some cartilage two days after the Masters. Recovery time, according to Wikipedia:

Usually a patient can fully load his leg already within a couple of days and after a few weeks the joint function can fully recover. It is not uncommon for athletes who have a beyond average physical condition to return to normal athletic activities within a few weeks.

The Masters was over on April 13th. Tiger had his surgery 2 months ago. And you should take this in the least-gay way possible, but Tiger is ripped. Look at Lefty and Tiger side by side and tell me who is in a state of "beyond average physical condition."

But Nick, isn't this PSaMP? Why does this have to do anything with Pittsburgh?

Well, Rocco is Tiger's opponent in today's playoff. But more importantly, other Pittsburgh athletes have had the same procedure, and haven't been pampered the way that Tiger has.

Three years ago, Josh Miller, PUNTER for the Steelers, had the same surgery and expected to miss two weeks maximum. This is a dude who uses his legs/knees to kick for a living. And punter's are in arguably equal physical shape to Tiger.

But what about more high-risk players. Later in that same season, Ben Roethlisberger had arthroscopic knee surgery. He missed two weeks of games. If I was a betting man, I'd have put money on a golfer coming back from arthroscopic knee surgery faster than an NFL quarterback!

Now, for the sake of fairness, the Steelers lost the first three games in Big Ben's return. However, the team went on the tear of all tears, winning the Super Bowl as the Wild Card.

So what's Tiger's deal? Is the concern over his knee a mere media fabrication to help more people sympathize with Woods? Then what of the grimaces? Is Tiger just a wuss? How can a quarterback, who is the sole focal point of an entire defensive line, recover from a surgery in 1/4 of the time it takes the world's most physically fit golfer? I don't get it.

As I've said, this isn't me knocking Tiger. I can't fault him if he wins today, even though he'd have to beat the fan-favorite, local elderly guy in Rocco Mediate.

But can we quit it with all the nonsense surrounding Tiger's knee?

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-16-08

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(originally published on 6-16-07)


Since this is all you're getting today, I figured I'd better give you a video. I can't remember if this was MPotD before, but even if it was, it still deserves a replay. This video is hilarious. And it involves tons of small horses. That makes it A-Okay in my book.

I'll get you more news tomorrow. Hopefully, the Passion win today and finish the regular season undefeated.


(Editor's note: Last summer sucked. I was all into not updating the site. Musta been busy. Oh, and the Passion won this weekend, keeping the undefeated streak alive. And don't fret, I'll get you a sports post today.)

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Friday, June 13, 2008

Myron Cope Is An Asteroid

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File this in the "Badass Department."

Okay, so I made that department up, but if it was real, this would be the first entry.

The International Astronomical Union has officially named an asteroid after late Steelers announcer Myron Cope. Far out (sorry)!

The asteroid orbits the sun in between Mars and Jupiter, so you or I will never see it. However, you can sleep better tonight knowing that 7835 Myroncope is flying around in space somewhere.

Myron Cope-steroid is only about 3 miles wide, making it a tiny body that will never come close enough to Earth.

Still, cool acknowledgement!

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-13-08

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(originally published on 6-13-07)


Coolest. Picture. Ever.

This is Thumbelina, the world's smallest horse. Thumbelina has been the MPotD before, but that was 3 months ago, and it was during the earliest moments of this site. I'm guessing about 3 people read my site then, so Thumbelina deserves another go-around as MPotD. And this picture is so much sweeter.


(Editor's note: I'm very tired today. Feel exactly like this cool little horse.)

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Passion Beat Hurricanes, Push Winning Streak To 20 Games

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20 games.

20 wins.

Your Pittsburgh Passion beat the Holyoke Hurricanes this past weekend to up their record to 7-0 on the season. It was the team's 20th consecutive win. 54-6 was the final.

If you've never heard of Holyoke, you're not alone. The Passion website mistakenly has Columbus on the schedule, a mistake that I ran with last week. The Western Massachusetts team is new to the league this season. Not new as the Passion (who played in the NWFA before) is new to the IWFL, but new as in brand new.

Lisa Horton was firing the ball everywhere, with TD passes on the second play of Pittsburgh's first two possessions.

Trumane Rogers was an absolute star on D, collecting ten tackles and a fumble recovery.

Next week, the Passion travel to D.C. to take on the Divas. For those of you with short memories, we barely pulled out a win against D.C. earlier this season. While already in the playoffs, the Passion need a win to extend their streak to 21 games, and to host a home playoff game in the first round.

Oh, and congratulations are in order for Passion owner and co-head coach Teresa Conn, who was inducted into the Minor Pro Football Hall of Fame this past Saturday. Conn is only the third female in the Hall.

PSaMP applauds you, Teresa!

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-12-08

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(originally published on 6-12-07)


This MPotD is more about the kid in the picture rather than the horse (although the tiny horse is still a badass).

In honor of today being the 1-year anniversary of Big Ben crashing his Suzuki into a Chrysler, today's MPotD is telling everyone to be like this kid. ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET!

Sure, the PSa in PSaMP can now stand for Public Sevice Announcement rather than Pittsburgh Sports and, but helmets are never a bad deal. Sure, they may mess up your 'do, but they also save you from frightening head injuries.

So kiddies, no matter if you're riding Suzuki Hayabusas or mini ponies, don't be like Big Ben, and always wear your helmet.

(I type this as a kid rides past my house on an aluminum scooter with no helmet and two Turner's Iced Teas in one hand. The two cartons in one hand was pretty impressive, though.)


(Editor's note: That makes today the 2 year anniversary of Big Ben's crash. In honor, here's my remembrance of the date, as well as Deadspin's reaction to my story from last year. Stay healthy, Ben!)

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Matt Capps Blows First Save, Sleeps With Fishes

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Sure, last night's game was memorable for the game-winning homer by Lastings Milledge, or the dugout words between Elijah Dukes and Manny Acta, but lost in the loss was a stark realization...Matt Capps blew his first save of the year.

Considering where the Pirates stand in the NL (near the bottom), its amazing to think that Matt Capps has been this strong through 65 games. Capps had been 15 for 15 on save attempts before the inevitable blown save.

The people in the above video must have taken the blown save to heart (I know the video precedes last night, but it sorta works). According to the Youtube page, that's a Matt Capps bobblehead getting tossed into the river. C'mon folks, its just one blown save! 15 of 16 is still pretty respectable. I mean, he does play for the Pirates.

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-11-08

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(originally published on 6-11-07)


(Editor's note: I'm not pasting the text from the original MPotD. It was all some noise about the Hot Blogger Bracket from last year that doensn't mean anything today. Instead, I'm just going to notice that there's a chick in the picture, and give my traditional...Hey, baby.)

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Randy Johnson Is A Pretentious D-Bag D-Back

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Yes, I said it.

And this is coming from a guy who loves Randy Johnson. The Mariners-era flying mullet? Awesome. The exploding bird? Priceless.

However, the comment he made after the Pirates' 5-3 win last night was a little egotistical, if I dare say so.

To set the stage, the bottom of the 3rd inning provided some fireworks. Neither team had scored, and Doug Mientkiewicz had called a late timeout in the batter's box. Johnson had gotten ready to pitch, and was obviously perturbed at Mientkiewicz's timeout. The two players exchanged words, Johnson started walking toward Mientkiewicz and the benches cleared. Cooler heads prevailed, and nothing of significance happened. Except for Johnson walking Mientkiewicz, then walking in the first run of the game.

Dougie tried to dismiss any friction, and offered the closest thing to an apology:

I'm not going to say much about it, but those things happen, especially when it's hot outside," Mientkiewicz said. "I just asked to get set in the box. Obviously, when pitchers get started it's hard for them to stop.

I'm not trying to get anybody hurt. I don't get many at-bats these days, and I want to at least be ready when I get one.


Johnson tried to forget about the situation as well, but couldn't resist acting like an asshat:

It's not really the storyline," he said. "It didn't bother me at all. If it would've, he'd probably be on a stretcher and I'd be out of the game.

Really? You're 8,000 years old. I'm no huge Mientkiewicz fan, but Johnson comes off looking like a fool. If it didn't bother him, why did Dougie walk? Why did Johnson then walk in the game's first run? Why was he unable to reverse his love for the base-on-balls, issuing 5 of 'em in just under 6 innings?

Johnson was obviously rattled, and allowed the Buccos to win their 5th of their last 8. As my buddy Pat at WHYGAVS said:

...the Bucs are two games under. 500 on June 9th and with the Nationals and Orioles looming on the horizon, they're not going to get a better shot at .500 this year. If they don't do it now, it's not going to happen.

Perfectly put.

And Johnson is still a douche.

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-10-08

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(originally published on 6-10-07)


Yo kid. Move. You're blocking the cool little horse. And you got poo or something on your face. Go clean up.


(Editor's note: That kid is a mess. If we could have less of the kid and more of that second horse in the bottom-right, this picture would be perfect. But, alas.)

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Monday, June 9, 2008

Griffey Hits His 600th

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Congrats to Ken Griffey Jr. Griffey hit his 600th career home run earlier tonight.

I've told you before that Junior was one of my favorite players growing up, so I just wanted show my appreciation for all that Griffey has accomplished in his years in the MLB. The past few years have not been kind to The Kid, but 600 homers really defines a career. Injuries or not, Griffey was one of the most fun players to watch. And that swing...

Drinks are on the Donora boy tonight.

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Tony Gallagher Has A Beef With The Pens, Officiating, Kids On His Lawn

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We're now in a new week, beyond the Penguins season and into some dumb hot weather. I guess the end of the playoffs segues into the start of a new season...Trash The Penguins Season.

My name is Tony Gallagher.

I write one-sentence paragraphs.

My view on the NHL sucks.

I like to complain about the Penguins.

My opinions mean nothing.

Seriously, read that link. Here it is again, in case you're an idiot.

For those of you not up to date on the Stanley Cup Finals...they're over. Detroit showed they were the better team and took the Cup with them. Empty Netters has an entire season recap posted. The Pensblog is about to write their own recap. Nothing that I, or any of those guys, say makes any difference in what happened in the Finals. We lost, Detroit won, let's move on to next season.

For Tony Gallagher, that isn't enough. He has the balls to question the officiating in the final minutes of Game 6:


While nobody really wanted to say so, how could you have possibly watched the calls in that series and not had the feeling that somehow, consciously or more likely unconsciously, there was a slant toward favouring the Pittsburgh Penguins?

While it seemed to be prevalent most of the series, at times to a far lesser extent, the final 20 seconds of Game 6 illustrated the problem perfectly.

With Detroit just having given up a power-play goal that allowed Pittsburgh to get to within 3-2 with under two minutes to go, the Pens had their goalie out and the Wings under siege.

But with about 18 seconds left, Pavel Datsyuk of the Wings managed to skate free with the puck, skate it out over the blue-line, but as he readied a shot toward the open net, he was hauled down with an abundantly obvious stick foul so blatant that Helen Keller would have been forced to raise her arm.

No call.

Pittsburgh then got the puck, stormed the other end and nearly tied the game in the last second.

This call wasn't missed. There is absolutely no conceivable way it could have been missed.

But the officials chose not to end the Penguins' season. In fact, for the first time in all my years of viewing hockey, I was overwhelmed by a sense that there existed a desperate need to keep this series going for the good of the game, no matter how far rule interpretations had to be stretched.


Um...wow! Not just for the completely ridiculous "argument," but for the fact that I had to copy/paste 8 paragraphs that should have been merged into one.

I find it hard to believe that an editor would allow this filth to be published. We, as bloggers, take so much heat for publishing vile, salacious crap while The National Post greenlights complete b.s. The Wings won the Cup, dumbass. And see, we aren't the only ones making Helen Keller jokes.

Let's look at the numbers. There were 6 games played in the Finals. Over the course of the series, The Penguins were called for 41 penalties. That's almost 7 a game. Detroit was called for 36 penalties. That's 6 a game, for you math-starved kids. Half of the games in the series (3) showcased more Penguins penalties than Red Wings penalties. Detroit was called for more penalties in only 2 of the games, with Game 5 evenly distributed at 6 penalties apiece. Factor in that the first two games, in which Detroit went up 2-0 in the series, the Penguins were called for 8 more penalties than the Wings (21-13). Now, a number of those penalties were a result of the scrum at the end of Game 2, but Pittsburgh was penalized to a greater extent in that fracas despite both teams pushing and shoving.

Gallagher is more concerned with the Pens not being called on a trip with hardly any time left in their season. Using this logic, should I write a freelance article for The National Post complaining how the disparity in penalties in the first two games changed the course of the series? Because last I checked, Chris Osgood still hasn't been called for his dives.

Now, let's look at penalty minutes. Cumulatively, the Penguins were assessed 94 penalty minutes. Detroit was assessed 74 penalty minutes. Again, taking the Game 2 scrum into account, there is no reason why in that game, the Penguins had 30 more penalty minutes assessed (46-16). Also, Gallagher talks about the goalie interference calls in the OT winner in Game 5. In that game, Detroit only had 4 more penalty minutes than the Penguins. (14-10). If I remember correctly, the Penguins won on a 4-minute high sticking penalty that drew blood. Prior to that, the officiating "slant" was pretty damn close (10-10).

So let's base our arguments off one missed call at the end of a fantastic Game 6 in which both teams had legit scoring chances late. Please don't look at the entire series, in which the Penguins had more penalties and penalty minutes than the Red Wings. Conspiracies obviously exist because the officials allowed the beaten team one last chance at a goal, not because we were seemingly in the box at every possible moment.

Tony Gallagher, go complain about something else. The Wings won and the series is over. Quit fabricating "stories" in your own mind.

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-9-08

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(originally published on 6-9-07)


This is all you get today. After a hellstorm yesterday, power was finally restored at my house after 18 hours. This is my only free moment today, so I decided to give you a video. Videos of mini ponies > pictures of mini ponies. Have fun. We will talk more tomorrow.


(Editor's note: Power loss sucks. I promise to get you a story today, unlike last year. Mother nature sucked last June 9th.)

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Friday, June 6, 2008

Rest In Peace, Dwight White

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Sad news in Steelers Nation, as Dwight White has passed away. He was only 58.

We don't have 4 Super Bowl wins in the '70s without White. The Defensive End anchored the most fearsome defensive line in NFL history, the Steel Curtain.

The cause of death was unknown.

Rest in Peace, Mad Dog.

RIP "Mad Dog"

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Playoff BTM/Beard Update

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The Penguins season is over. What does that mean for all the facial hair that blew up during the playoffs?

Well, according to the above picture, Sid is still in love with his Playoff BTM. The rest of that junk around his ears and all is gone, but the 'stache is still in place. He should keep it, a la Jason Giambi.

As for playoff beards, I'm sad to see my good buddy Ed Spags shave his beard. It was truly epic. Video evidence is below.



What a video. What a movie reference.

UPDATE: Thanks to reader The White Boom Boom for the below image. Just look at what a massive playoff beard and a few stitches could do to a guy.




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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-6-08

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(originally published on 6-6-07)


Even with all the love from the Ladies..., there are times when I just want to lay low and throw a few back with the boys.

Yeah, that could mean my college buddies, but I was really referring to The Boys. Meet Jingler (I think that is the name. Can't really tell), Peanut, Buddy and Barney. I'm guessing the only reason they are hanging out next to each other is the whole leash/wooden post thing, and also because they don't have opposable thumbs (or any thumbs, for that matter). However, I like to think that The Boys are fast friends, who'd have their chums' backs in case a rival was throwin' up gang signs or disrupting R. Kelly or something.

No matter the case, The Boys deserve their spot as MPotD.



Side note: Blogger Spell Check does not understand the word "opposable." Guess its a bunch of monkeys running the site (ba-zing).


(Editor's note: Fantastic picture. And this was when I was a part of the Hot Blogger Bracket. Because I'm hot.)

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Thursday, June 5, 2008

66 Things That Suck More Than Losing In The Stanley Cup Finals

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First off...congrats to the Wings and Wings fans. Detroit proved that, at least for this season, they were the best team in the NHL. We have a very bright future to look forward to in Sid, Geno, MAF and the guys, but that doesn't ease the immediate sting of losing in the Stanley Cup finals.

Well, take it easy on yourself, Penguins fan. Here's a list of 66 things that suck worse than losing in the Stanley Cup Finals:


1. Losing in the first round (cough...Ottawa...cough) (cough...us last year...cough)
2. Losing in the second round (cough...Rangers...cough)
3. Losing in the Eastern Finals (cough...Philly...cough)
4. Not making the playoffs
5. Not having an NHL team
6. Not being an NHL fan
7. Someone kicking you in the balls
8. Someone punching you in the balls
9. Punching yourself in the balls
10. Kicking yourself in the balls (for all my double-jointed folk out there)
11. Realizing that all we have right now is the Pirates
12. Getting a paper cut
13. 9-5
14. Watching Rachel Ray
15. Being from Cleveland
16. Being friends with Nick Hogan
17. Listening to Yanni
18. Gary Bettman
19. Balsillie
20. Kansas City
21. Ed Rendell
22. Constipation
23. The runs
24. Hangovers at work the day after watching your team lose
25. Sid Bream
26. Possibly losing Orpik, Hossa AND Malone
27. Ghosts
28. Dumb people
29. Vomit
30. Getting shat on by a bird
31. Stepping in dog poo
32. Stepping in human poo
33. Any skateboarding video where dudes break bones
34. Hospital-based movies and tv shows where they show awful injuries
35. Falling down
36. Sneezing and sharting
37. Negative people
38. 2girls1cup
39. Being sick
40. Reality tv
41. Bryan Murray
42. Tom Renney
43. John Dellapina
44. Onions
45. Getting cockblocked
46. Michelob Ultra
47. Hungarian Goulash
48. Your mom
49. Republicans
50. Democrats
51. MSMers who hate bloggers
52. Trying to think of a solid number of things that suck
53. The Browns
54. Rich people
55. Taxes
56. Rent
57. Violence
58. Flossing
59. Scott Burnside trashing Lemieux
60. Authority
61. Humidity
62. Roadkill
63. People who hate the movie "The Jerk"
64. MTv
65. Listening to Rascall Flatts
66. Waiting for next season to start


Thanks Pens, for an unbelievable season! Here's to next year.

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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-5-08

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(originally published on 6-5-07)


Visible high five!





Much respect to ichc.

This one is funny.


(Editor's note: Thanks, Pens!)

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Passion Hold Off Sharks, Clinch Division

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Thank God for the New York Sharks' website.

Usually, I have trouble giving you adequate Passion recaps of the games, because the IWFL sucks at keeping the (supposed) masses informed. This is what we get from the IWFL site.



All the points were scored in the 4th? Incredible!

And that's it. Thankfully, though, the Sharks have a decent recap posted. I won't give you all the details, but you can read about it there.

The win clinched the North Atlantic Division for the Passion, who have won it in their first tour of the IWFL. The Sharks had won the division every year since their inception in the league. Pittsburgh's move from the NWFA to the IWFL had to worry New York from the get-go.

Both Pittsburgh and New York traded touchdowns before the Passion jumped to a 28-14 lead. New York scored again, keeping the deficit at 7, but couldn't overcome the mighty Passion. New York had a chance to tie the game, getting the ball back with just under 50 seconds left in the game. Despite a few generous completions, the clock worked against the Sharks.

The team sits at 6-0, with the now 4-2 Sharks holding a distant second. The division is clinched, and Pittsburgh will now look to winning back-to-back championships in two different leagues. The Passion proved that their NWFA success was no fluke, and can hang with just about anyone, including the powerhouse Sharks.

Next week, the undefeated streak goes up against Columbus, a team that Pittsburgh has already dominated this season.

Playoffs begin June 28th. Pittsburgh's ticket is already punched.


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Classic Mini Pony of the Day 6-4-08

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(originally published on 6-4-07)


This is either the smallest mini pony, or the largest dog I have ever seen. I'm trying to judge their relative sizes by the human folk who are behind them. But I keep getting distracted by the fact that this pony can probably walk under this dog with little to no problem. And the pony's hair is luxurious.


(Editor's note: I know that's a pretty big dog and all, but the smallness of that tiny horse cannot be adequately expressed. I'm still in awe.)

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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Find The ESPN Mistake

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(click for larger view)



This is a hard one. I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't find it.

Its from this Scott Burnside piece.

Why is Georges Lara...

...I'm gonna stop.



UPDATE: Took less than 10 minutes to fix.

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