Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This is the Greatest Toy in the World

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Sweet. I can't wait to adequately describe this toy to all my mature, grown-up readers out there. First, notice how the Steelers logo perfectly...

...Ooooh, bright colors.


/drools everywhere

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-30-08

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This is fantastic. Dude is so pumped to be hanging out with a mini pony.

Cheer directly into a mini pony's face, or just read these links:

Looks like Najeh is coming back. And Gary Russell. [Trib]

Drifting with Big Wheels. There is nothing more hardass than this. [LiveLeak]

Screw you, San Diegons. San Diegoites...? [Tirico Suave]

Ricky Williams wants to toke. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Hot MMA chick has an awesome way of describing her sport. [Fanhouse]

ESPN to show sports? Just like MTv to show videos? [Awful Announcing]

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Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

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"The offense was terrible in the first half."

I'm probably paraphrasing a bit, but I believe Ben said something along these lines in his post-game interview. You won't hear any objection from me, Ben.

23-20. OT. Win.

I'm really just biding my time until I can rip Bruce Arians a new one in my ratings. The team sucked hard, but luckily showed that they could make the appropriate adjustments to make the game competitive. As I said in the pregame show...pressure Flacco and good things will happen. Silverback and Woodley listened, and a defensive touchdown changed the attitude in the stadium.

So yeah, now we need to deal with several season-ending injuries, but those aren't excuses for losing. Its time to show who we are in this league and step up despite the adversity. But that's for another time. On to last night's ratings...don't expect blindly high ratings just because we won. There was a lot of suck:

Ben. A tale of two Bens? Who was that dude in the first half? His expressions and demeanor were not conducive to a competitive nature, and it looked like he was frustrated and confused...two things you don't want to see in your franchise quarterback. I hope Mike Tomlin punched Ben in the face at halftime, because Ben deserved that for the shitty play and defeatist attitude. However, he adopted the no-huddle and quick two/three step drops that we've been asking for this whole year so far. And guess what...IT WORKED! I know that INT slipped outta your hands, but that's another side effect of holding the ball too long, man. 3.5 of 5 helmets.

Bruce Arians. I'm gonna be painfully honest here. Any time I see Ben talking to Arians on the sideline, I immediately say, "Ben, do the complete opposite of what Bruce is saying right now." I don't understand his offense one bit and why he makes 95% of the decisions that he does. Why he was riding Carey Davis up the middle when a fresh Mewelde Moore was on the bench is beyond me. Just because he's a third-down back, it doesn't mean he can't play on first or second. Look at how well it paid off at the end of the game! I think Tomlin's been getting too much flak for the ineptitude of the play-caller. 1 of 5 helmets. Getting down early like that will bite us more often than not, dude.

Rashard. Don't wanna add insult to injury, but I was hoping for more. He showed flashes, but was stuffed on too many runs. It was something that he'd be able to work on if he wasn't injured now, but that isn't the case. Sucks that he'll basically be a rookie next year, too. 2.5 of 5 helmets.

Moore. See? Yeah, I'm the biggest Carey Davis supporter that you'll see, but Mewelde Moore is a much better option running the ball and catching out of the backfield. He came up with several huge plays late and put us in a position to win. Can't ask for much more from a guy who hasn't really been used this year. Look for Mewelde to get more touches with Willie hurt up and Beetlejuice gone. 4 of 5 helmets. Big time.

LBs. Dirty. Cotter predicted 1.5 sacks from Wood and 2 from Silverback. They finished with 1.5 and 2.5 respectively. Pretty damn good night, if you ask me. There was some stat that Silverback's last two MNF games included 5.5 sacks and 4 forced fumbles. Both games were in the throwbacks, do we have a jersey controversy? Go to the golden oldies all season! Wood and Silverback were huge all game, but Timmons' sack nearly impressed me the most. Dude was on a mission to end that Ravens drive, and nothing was going to get in his way. How sick is he going to be in the coming years? And how sick will Tomlin look for taking Timmons and Woodley 1-2 in his first draft as head coach? A perfect 5 of 5 for the LBs.

Jeff Reed. He's making good on me 'n Cotter's prediction of a 100% FG kicking season. One helmet for each made FG, one for making the practice one in OT and one for winning the game. 5 of 5 helmets. Where would we be this season without him?

As Cotter said, I guess this can be used as a celebratory gesture. Don't ask...we were taping the opening song for the pregame show.



Jacksonville in Jacksonville next week. Time to put this win behind us and get ready for playoff redemption.

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Monday, September 29, 2008

He's Back and Pissed That We Lost Last Week

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Go Steelers!

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-29-08

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Kickass. From the looks of it, we've got a Belgian celebrity at PSaMP today. Fun.

I'm shitting my britches about this game, and I'm finding it hard to focus on anything, so I'm just giving you the goods:

If you haven't watched the pregame show, remember to do so. [PSaMP]

Remember Rashard Mendenhall's infamous text to Ray Rice? This link will be the funniest thing you read today. Try to not cry from laughter...its impossible. [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

Anquan Boldin is alright after being knocked out cold in yesterday's game. Thankfully. That was a ridiculous hit. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Jeez, we don't need Sergei gone for the season. Say it with me; Only six weeks, only six weeks, only six weeks... [Sportsnet]

I used to be a big Cris Carter fan. Then he threatened Will Leitch a few months back. Now, he's flat out lying. Mighty fall, Carter. [Awful Announcing]

Golf claps for Pat for sticking with another awful Pirates season. Your ('08) torment is over, buddy. [WHYGAVS]

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show. Week 4

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We made a thor an intro this week, complete with theme music, so I hope you appreciate the time we've wasted on this.

This will be up all day Monday leading up to the game...don't expect a MPotD til later. If you don't stop by on the weekends to watch this, you now know what you're missing. Or not.

Watch this exact same thing at OFTOT again.

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Kris Letang Will Be An All Star This Season. Write That Down

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I find it fun to make random predictions about the teams I love so much, so let's go after the Penguins, especially with what's been going on with our defense in the offseason.

First off, how good does Ray Shero look for holding on to Darryl Sydor? When free agency began, there was much talk of packaging Sydor in a deal to get a scoring winger. Now, with Ryan Whitney shelved until December or January and Sergei out indefinitely, the retaining of Sydor alleviates some major problems. Our blue line depth would've been much more questionable had Sydor left.

But let's talk predictions. I've always been a massive Kris Letang fan, and with current injuries, Letang has a chance to shine instead of just being a role player. With our top two offensive-minded defensemen out, Letang is thrust into the spotlight, and we're in need of healthy point production from Kris. So my prediction is...All Star.

In the past, we were lucky to watch Paul Coffey come flying up from his defensive position to bury a ton of Mario passes and rebounds. Letang has that same gift, and he'll have a lot of time to work with Sid. Plus, he'll most likely be paired with defensive-minded defenseman (and pride of Wilmington, DE) Mark Eaton. This should allow him to put more shots on net while not worrying about giving up defensive position. Eaton's got his back (or Orpik, another bruising, defensive-minded guy).

I'm too lazy to look right now, but Sergei had something like 99 points in the past two seasons. Is it absurd to think Letang could top 50 this year? Of course, he'll need a strong start to the season, before Whit and Gonch come back and take their spots on the top line. Coming out strong early would give Ray Shero the same happy problem as he has with the forwards, so many scoring threats that there aren't #1 and #2 lines, just two #1s. Point production could be through the roof if Letang could hold his own until his injured teammates return.

Couple this thought with the fact that we own 2 of the top 10 hitters in the conference (Cooke on offense, Orpik on defense), and those hits could create some loose puck opportunities and scoring chances for Letang.

So yeah, ridicule me all you want, but I'm expecting big things from this team going into the season. What originally seemed like a crushing blow to our blue line now seems to be a prime opportunity for Letang to have an All Star season.

You read that here first.

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Rocky Bleier, The Rooneys and The Steelers Rule

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Take it away, Post Gazette:


An emotional Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. was uncharacteristically at a loss for words yesterday as an introduction from Steelers owner Dan Rooney stirred memories of a bright interlude in a painful time.

On a campaign stop at Greensburg Salem High School, the presence of the Steelers owner reminded the vice presidential candidate of the tragic Dec. 17, 1972, car accident that killed his first wife and daughter and seriously injured two young sons. Mr. Biden had just been elected to the Senate.

Mr. Biden paused, wiped his eyes and, at one point turned away from the crowd for a long moment. Talking of his long vigil at his sons' bedsides, he said he left the boys at some point to go out and buy a Christmas tree for their hospital room. When he returned they each had an autographed football.

"My one little boy was in traction, the other little boy had a serious fractured skull, and they were happy. ..." After pausing, and wiping his eye, he continued.

"I said, 'Guys, where'd you get the balls?'

"They said, 'Daddy, Rocky Bleier brought it for me.'

"Mr. Rooney's Dad, without any fanfare, without an announcement, without anything but this incredible decency. ..." He paused again, and as the crowd applauded, said, "I really apologize. I shouldn't have tried to do this. ... It's a hell of a family."


I love when people hate on the Steelers, the Rooneys and anything Steeler-related simply because we've had an enormous amount of success. But there's so much more to the Steelers family and organization that we never hear about unless a veep nominee recounts a horrible tragedy and touching stories like this come to light.

In a way, I'm honored to follow and write about an organization like this, but in another sense, I'm not surprised in the least. It seems that there are a never ending list of stories like this, where the front office or players have used their status as representatives of the city and organization to help those in need. Only after the world finally hears about these acts of kindness do others realize that the Steelers are more than a football team.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-26-08

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I'm gonna just re-print the the caption on the Flickr page for this picture:

tiny horse, tiny house, tiny shorts
big girl, big glasses, big bandage

WHAT A MIXED UP WORLD WE LIVE IN


Yeah, I guess so. The only thing I can add is...

...Hey, baby.

Comprehend this picture, then read these links:

Women in the NHL, will it ever happen? [Faceoff Factor]

The history of the blogosphere. Pretty cool. [MediaShift]

This dude is the biggest badass. [Deadspin]

Top ways to insult Cleveland. You'll spittake at the "New York Kikes." [Epic Carnival]

Schrutebag wants to give love advice. How about no? [Awful Announcing]

In case you missed The Office last night. Hilarious. [NBC]

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Coaching Staff Failed Against The Eagles. That Can't Happen Against The Ravens

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(pictured blatantly stolen from here)

I kinda agree with Bob Smizik. Wow, never thought I'd type that. We've had our differences, some of which we covered in our interview/discussion, but I'm actually on his side for most of this article.

Bob talks of how the coaching staff failed to make any adjustments to the Eagles' relentless pressure, and blame should fall directly on their shoulders. Tomlin agreed and accepted blame, so...good for him.

This is something that we need to take into account going into the Monday night game against the Ravens. Another birdbrained defense (get it? Ravens, Eagles...ah, screw it) is going to throw some random shit at our O-Line, and attack the Willie Parker-less running game. I'm not as concerned with Joe Flacco and the Ravens O. We held a better Philly offense in check for most of the game. But the Ravens D vs. our O-Line and running game is a different story.

So yeah, adjustments had better be made. Or else this is just going to continue to piss me off. Graded well? Wow.

However, I don't fully agree with Smiz. He mentions that Tomlin is 5-6 in his past 11, basically questioning if Tomlin is as good as we thought he was. If we aren't to get too high after wins over Cleveland and Houston, then let's not go the opposite after a Philly loss. Remember that we are still 2-1 with a division win under our belts. The failings at the end of last season have little to do with this year.

The coaching staff was rightfully criticized after the Philly game, but let's not doubt our head coach after a tough loss.

Now if we lose on Monday...

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-25-08

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Today's MPotD comes from reader Katie, who is currently interning (or something) across the pond. This is the British-est MPotD ever. Katie says:

It's Mandy the Shetland Pony. Mandy lived in Knaresborough Zoo in North Yorkshire and died naturally in the 80s.

Awesome. I bet Mandy dominated some tea and crumpets in its time (sorry, that's the only British reference I could come up with at this hour).

Read these bloody links:

Silverback > Bart Scott. In my humble opinion. [On The Black Side]

Tough talk from a dude who writes about an awful Ravens team. The Steelers have no season-changing players, but the Ravens do? [One For The Other Thumb]

Baron Davis is on Jenny Craig. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

All hail Kimbo Slice, who got to punch David Blaine in the stomach. Lucky. [Awful Announcing]

Pens won last night. [The Pensblog]

Some skier unintentionally jumped off a 351-foot cliff and survived with only minor injuries. Badass. [Homeboy's World of Skiing]

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Joe Flacco is a Muppet

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Seriously, this guy is supposed to beat us this week? You can be touted as the Next Ben Roethlisberger all day, but you'll still be going up against THE Ben Roethlisberger on Monday.

I'm calling another pick for Troy. Write that down.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-24-08

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These badass pictures come from reader Ben, who describes them like this:

Sometimes one [MPotD] is just not enough and I search for more. This little guy looks like royalty.

All hail King Mini Horse XIV.

Off with your heads if you don't read these links:

Russ Grimm > Larry Zierling. [One For The Other Thumb]

When did hazing go wrong? This is how its done properly. [Epic Carnival]

Yeah, Lil Penny still rules. [NESW Sports]

The only good about Cincinnati...the Ben-Gals. [On 205th]

One of the whores in that post-Steelers/Eagles game video was on Survivor. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Matt Millen might finally be on his way out. [Sports Inferno]

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Willie Parker, Casey Hampton Out Against Ravens

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Shit.

Whaddya got, Beetlejuice?

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Steelers and 'NSync Slash Fiction Sucks

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Here's what slash fiction is, in case you were wondering. Got it? Gross, but now you understand.

About a month ago or so, we were treated (I use that word lightly) to some disturbing slash fiction involving baseball's Drew brothers. I'm gonna get to my point quick because this is seriously freaking me out.

I don't know how old this is, but apparently the Steelers loss in Super Bowl XXX inspired some weird fan to come up with some crazy slash fiction involving 'NSync and Pittsburgh sports. Specifically...JC and Chris hook up. Don't ask me why. I don't come up with this shit...I only make it available to you. Its long, so it'll be perfect for a long dookie break. Or, considering the subject, it'll completely ruin your dookie break. Here's some nasty excerpts:


What really cemented it was Superbowl XXX. The Steelers were taking on the Cowboys, and if anyone hated the Cowboys with the fury of a thousand burning suns, it was a Redskins fan. January 28, 1996, and they were really still a fledgling group but it didn’t matter that day because Chris and JC were brothers in arms, soulmates even, bent on witnessing the humiliation and destruction of the arrogant assholes in the blue and white.

Of course, it didn’t happen that way. Dallas scored in its first three possessions and Chris was so drunk by the end of the half that he could hardly see straight. He didn’t remember much of the rest of the game, except for when Joey dragged him and JC upstairs into his bedroom after they were pretty much ready to pass out.

He probably should have been embarrassed the next morning when he woke up draped over JC, a little wet spot of drool on JC’s shoulder. He didn’t have time, though, because the previous evening’s Rolling Rock was intent on making a reappearance. He was washing his face when JC appeared in the bathroom, bleary-eyed, and rested his head on Chris’s shoulder.

...

JC endured all sorts of things. Like Chris’s diatribe about Scotty Bowman, who could have been the greatest hockey coach ever until he sold his soul to Detroit. The Steelers’ elimination in either the divisional playoffs or the AFC championships a couple years running. JC made dead sure that Barry Bonds’ name was never uttered on the bus, except with the utmost contempt. It was the little things that endeared him to Chris.



Oh, there's other Steelers, Pirates and Penguins references in there too if you keep going. I skimmed through as much as I could, but there was no way I was going to read all of that nonsense.

I guess the Steelers can bring anyone together. Even you and that other member of that boy band you're in that you've been lusting over.

I need to go vomit.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-23-08

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I guess little horses deserve little cowboys. Makes sense.

Tie yourself to the back of a bigger horse so you can read these links without interruption:

Brooks Orpik for alternate captain? [Sports is my Girlfriend]

Nate McLouth rules. [Suburban Rob Rossis]

Yeah. [Eddy Spaghetti]

Video of the aftermath of DJ AM and Travis Barker's plane crash. Jeez. [The Blemish]

The son of the Lions' owner wants Millen gone. [Larry Brown Sports]

J-E-S-T. Jest! Jest! Jest! [Tirico Suave]

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Monday, September 22, 2008

Troy Polamalu's Interception

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Because we all need something to cheer us up after that awful loss, here's video of Troy's sick-ass interception.

/shakes head in disbelief

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-22-08

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Yes! Drinking from the lake with your buds is the thing to do. I'm glad I found a picture that made me smile, because that Steelers loss will have me in a depression til at least Wednesday. Bear with me.

Put your face directly in front of these links:

Thanks to my buddy Rob, who hit me up with a ticket to Yankee Stadium on Saturday. I'm a Pirates fan, but I was kinda pissed that I never got to go to the Stadium (seeing that I now live in NYC). I even made it to Shea this year before it gets torn down, so it was awesome to go to the last day game (and last walk off win) in Yankee Stadium History. Here's more Yankee Stadium stuff. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

And more about that depressing Steelers loss. [One For The Other Thumb]

This subject line pretty much sums up the game. [Hockey, Football and Stiletto Shoes]

Sergei Gonchar is injured. Glad Ryan Whitney isn't injur...oh. [Empty Netters]

Troy's interception was better, but that WAS a sick play, Brian Dawkins. [The 700 Level]

So yeah, Pitt won this weekend. [Pitt Blather]

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Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

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So, that was a game that down the line, when we're watching the Super Bowl DVD of this season, will remind us of how we got our ass handed to us for good reason. I personally want to thank the Eagles for dishing out a healthy dose of "shut the hell up," and I hope we learn from this experience. No two ways about it...the Eagles completely dominated us, and we pretty much deserved it. I'll admit, that as a fan base collectively, we were feeling pretty good about ourselves after beating the Texans and Browns. Playing a better team this week just shows us that we still have a long way to go, and we're nowhere near the elite team everyone made us out to be.

It's better to get a reality check in Week 3 than it is in Week 13, am I right? Let's get that underdog mentality back quick, and remember that there are no free passes to the championship.

The O-Line shouldn't have dressed, because they didn't show up at all. I'm not even going to discuss them in my rankings, because each keystroke is just going to be filled with rage. I can feel myself heating up already just mentioning their ineptitude. 0 of 5 helmets...let's move on.

It amazes me that a team can be completely confused as the Steelers were this week. It hurts more when, despite the obvious shortcomings, you're still one touchdown from the lead with only minutes left in the game. The D looked suspect at times, allowing backup RBs with multiple knee surgeries to look like top draft picks, but their play helped keep the Steelers in the game. We'll get to guys like Troy and McFadden later, but let's begin this so we can end.

Ben. What the hell, kid? I know everyone is going to say the same thing, but how is it that hard to get rid of the ball? Its awesome that you can dip your shoulder or shake off initial contact in the pocket. Everyone has known this since you were a rookie, though. Once you show that you can elude that first guy, opposing D coordinators are going to plan for this and have a second rusher close your scrambling gaps. Jim Johnson planned for this perfectly. I don't think you've understood this fact at all this season. You don't have nearly as much time as you think, and the O-Line is only going to make this worse. Philly beat us with the quick drop and short pass...watch the tapes and learn, young man. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Santonio. Its 3 games in, and you still haven't really broken out. Last week was decent, but you took a step back with the drops this week. Ben wasn't dishing, but the balls that come your way need to be caught. Another 2 of 5 helmets.

NOT TALKING ABOUT THE RUNNING GAME.

Lawrence Timmons. I don't know how many 3rd and mediums there were for the Eagles, but in this instance, you need Lawrence Timmons in the game. His closing speed is great, and I was left wanting when Philly would convert the short passes to the line of scrimmage that somehow resulted in first downs. Speed kills. Timmons needs more time in the game to make an impact. He gets 3.5 of 5 stars, but only because he wasn't used enough. Not entirely your fault, Lawrence.

Troy. That pick was one of the sickest things I've ever seen. Someone try to do that right now without breaking a minimum of 3 bones in your body. Can't do it. Troy is healthy and a terror. Every season after his rookie year, I've been hyping him up as a potential AFC Defensive Player of the Year. Is this the year? 4.5 of 5 helmets.

Bryant McFadden. How good is he playing right now? Not only did he have the awareness to pick up the easy fumble, but he also came up with a clutch pick. Who woulda thought that our defensive backfield would outplay our offense? 5 of 5 helmets for Bryant.

Arians. Keep on keeping on, man. At least we'd run twice in a row to set up 3rd and long even after knowing our running game was nowhere to be found. 0 of 5 helmets. Gross.

Ravens next Monday night. If we can't control Joe Flacco, we got some problems.

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Sunday, September 21, 2008

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show. Week 3

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Here we go with Week 3. Our topics covered are just as random as the past two weeks, so you know what you're basically getting.

The set is now more black and gold-er (?). Hope that pleases your eye sockets.

The outtakes are below. Watch the video again at OFTOT.

Go Steelers.

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Friday, September 19, 2008

Back in the Saddle

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Go Steelers!

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He's coming...

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Mario Lemieux, Tony Fernandez and Bea Arthur Made the Best PSA Ever

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1988 ruled.

When else would you be able to see Mario Lemieux, Tony Fernandez AND Bea Arthur in a commercial together? They really don't make PSAs like they used to.

I'm just shocked that Mario and Tony were both taller than Bea Arthur. The only Bea Arthur reference I have is from my years of watching Golden Girls (great stuff) with my grandma back in the day, and I woulda just guessed that she would tower over both Lemieux and Fernandez like she did to everyone else on that show.

God, the 80s were awesome.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-19-08

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This is the best I could do for the end of grannies with mini horses theme. Yeah, that's a dude with the pony, but the background has several grannies in it, so...it'll do.

Mini horse is the only one ready for the picture to be taken.

Gather with some grannies and some mini horses, then read these links:

I'm all up in MPIE again. Check my answers out. [One For The Other Thumb]

+1, Janne Pesonen. +1. [The Suburban Rob Rossis]

Steelers/Eagles is here. Thank God for Ape's Big Ben. [KSK]

More from FF's Jesse about Pens training camp. [The Pensblog]

Eddie Vedder pens a postseason song for the Cubs. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Cleveland is a shithole, and so is Philly. [Joey Porter's Pit Bulls]

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Farrior Fined

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James Farrior is a little lighter in the wallet, thanks to a $7,500 fine from the NFL.

What for, you may ask? How about giving Browns fans exactly what they deserve. After Safety Ryan Clark was injured on a play in last week's Gowns dismantling, Farrior flipped the bird at the crowd, who cheered the Steelers injury.

Again, stay classy, Cleveland.

Farrior was flagged for taunting on the play, so the fine was inevitable. I think he shoulda went double bird and gone for an even $15k. Put that extension money to good use, man!

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Troy Polamalu = AFC Defensive Player of the Week

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Congrats to Troy Polamalu, who was just named AFC Defensive Player of the Week. Seems like we got a stranglehold on AFC awards this season, no?

Troy finished the Gowns game with 4 solo tackles, 2 passes defended and a pick. Correction...a confidence-crushing pick.

I went back and forth with the above picture and this one here. The latter had more chicks in it, but the above has an assload of candy behind Troy. Somehow, its not odd to imagine Troy going out on candy shopping sprees. Or just candy shopping for Sprees.

So, who keeps up the trend this coming week? Silverback? Farrior? Ike? Orpheus Roye?

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-18-08

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Thaks to Doug, we're able to continue the grannies with mini ponies theme. Email me some prospective pictures so I don't have to personally find any. Or else the theme is dead.

Now, there's a buncha chicks in this picture, so the "Hey babys" aren't directed at the...well...babies in the image. With that being said...

...Hey, baby.
Hey, baby.
Hey, baby.

What? Older women don't like to be complimented, too?

Free your mini pony from its cage, then both of you can read these links:

Former Steeler Joey Porter guarantees a victory against the Patriots. Of course he does. [Sons of Bill Simmons]

Is LT washed up? I hope not. [Yahoo]

Getting inside the mind of an Eagles blogger. [One For The Other Thumb]

Jesse from FF with a nice update from Pens training camp. [The Pensblog]

Our O-Line is doing its job. Get off their collective backs. [Hockey, Football and Stiletto Shoes]

Some crazy fan fiction about Sidney Crosby. [Wide Wonderful World of Loser Domi] (Loser Domi is wonderful and wide)

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hustle and Flow Revisted

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Last week, my buddy JPPB decided to give a new nickname to our defense. Hustle and Flow seemed to sum up everything Dick LeBeau was trying to do with his athletic Linebackers, beastly DEs and, well...Troy Polamalu. As long as the D keeps their feet moving and finds their way to the ball, we should be able to minimize mistakes and severely limit opposing offenses.

The plan worked against the Gowns, who failed to break the plane. Even when they had arguably their best drive of the game, Troy provided ample hustle, spotting an Anderson throw before Anderson himself knew he was going to throw it, and flowing right in its path for a game-changing interception.

But the Gowns game is over. Time to look at the McNabbs. Brian Westbrook is making fantasy owners regret taking LT #1, McNabb seems healthy (which should concern any opposition) and DeSean Jackson is a major threat. Can we hustle and flow to the right areas at the right times? The Eagles ARE a step up from the Gowns.

So this is where I steal someone else's joke to make my point. Yesterday on Deadspin, Daulerio linked to a Philly.com article that summed up the Eagles MNF loss and the Jackson brainfart at the 1-yard line. This is what they said about the Jackson drop and how the Cowboys reacted:


The Eagles tried to hustle up to the line to kick the extra point, but Cowboys coach Wade Phillips managed to signal for a challenge of the call.


Commenter Arriaga II responded with:


Philly: You were out-hustled by Wade Phillips. Please leave your NFL Player's Union cards on the table and get out.


This is what Wade Phillips looks like, in case you don't know. Now, the comment made me laugh hard for a sec, but then it was back to thinking about the Steelers. If Phillips can out-hustle the Eagles, then Silverback and Co. should have no problem.


*As an aside, I know that Wade challenging that play in time does not mean the Steelers will out-hustle the Eagles. I merely wanted to point out a hilarious joke and how it ties in with the new mentality of our D that was adequately described by JPPB. Carry on.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-17-08

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Don't know if I've ever used this one. I know there's been several ones on PSaMP that were surrounded by ribbons of various colors and sizes, but I can't be sure if this specific one ever made the cut. Plus, there's no way in hell I'm going through all the archives to double check. One of you can do that if you find the time.

I needed to continue the Grannies-with-Mini-Horses theme from the past two days. If only to give out a...

...Hey, baby.

Organize your ribbon collection while you're reading these links:

Chiefs fans want Michael Vick and Bill Cowher? Ok. [Arrowhead Addict]

Is Penguins prospect camp really going on? Where's the news? [The Sweater Ted]

Miroslav Satan is better at goal scoring than people are giving him credit for. [Empty Netters]

Brooks Orpik hates your plan to boo Hossa. [The Hockey News]

Syracuse forgets that Ernie Davis played before the Nike swoosh was invented. [The Sporting News]

You know things are bad for the Pirates when Doug Mietkewitndsfghrweurgnsz is calling the team "embarrassing." [Post Gazette]

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dr. Obvious Rules. So Does Aaron Smith

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Earlier today, I asked for anything to post. I didn't specify that it had to be Pittsburgh-related, but here's the best of the submissions.

Reader Dr. Obvious emailed the following:


My Minnesota area office computer has this as it's background:
http://drobviousso.deviantart.com/art/Aaron-Smith-96253813

I made it after going to the Pittsburgh/Minneapolis [sic] preseason game.


Who needs anti-virus software when Aaron Smith is on the job? You have a Trojan and 3 viruses, but Aaron Smith has effectively sacked them into bits.

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Players of the (Last) Week

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I forgot to mention that last week, Willie Parker and LaMarr Woodley dominated the AFC. They were, respectively, AFC Offensive and Defensive Players of the Week.

Last year, I had a habit of recognizing each Steelers player who was recognized with this honor by posting a picture of them with a chick or two (you can find them all at that last link). Excuse my tardiness on the Week 1 announcements. Here's my homage to both players. Woodley needs to take better pictures, as there are none on the Internet that I could find of him with even one lass. So his face gets pasted onto the same Willie Parker one.

Troy is up for it this week. Hope he makes it so I can crush some more MS Paint!


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Art Rooney > Me

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I've told y'all a million times, I classify my PSaMP writing as "stream of consciousness sportsblogging." I don't have a schedule, I rarely know what I'm gonna post about when I wake up each morning and I write as I'm thinking. The only editing is to correct typos and blatant lies.

Correction. I do have set posts, in the MPotD and football season's MMCNY. But its the other posts I'm talking about. Like this one, for example. I always try to get you something interesting by mid-day, but I'm struggling right now. So enjoy this ancient interview with Art Rooney until I find something that sparks my interest.

Email me something and I'll post about it today. At some point.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-16-08

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Grannies with mini horses theme? That makes two days in a row. We'll see how tomorrow goes, I guess. But before we get to tomorrow, I gotta throw out a...

...Hey, baby.

If you ain't watching your program, then you should be reading these links:

DeSean Jackson got me enough fantasy points last night, but that drop was stupid. [Fan IQ]

Speaking of Jackson, here's video of him with another (more boneheaded) premature celebration in high school. [The 700 Level]

Derek Jeter hates camera phones. As in "worst invention ever" style of hate. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Mike Mamula...what's he doing with his life? [One For The Other Thumb]

I would never eat Throat Meat Tacos. Whatever the hell those are. [With Leather]

Congrats to my alma mater, St. Vincent College, for their first win since being restored as a team last year. Their last win was 46 damn years ago! Props all around. [St. Vincent College]

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Monday, September 15, 2008

Browns Fans Love Their Team

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I don't think I've ever felt compelled to flip off anyone/thing after my team just made a good play. This is Brodney Pool celebrating a Ben Roethlisberger sack with the score still knotted up at zeroes.

Join in the fun while the Youtuber scans the crowd, focusing on the many birds being flipped. Who were they all pissed off at? Some random Steelers fan? The Steelers sideline? Their own pitiful excuse for a team?

I'ma go with the latter. Stay classy, Cleveland.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-15-08

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Nice. If you plan on taking you dog for a walk on a leash, wouldn't you at least think of doing the same for your mini pony? I know I would. Everyone says chicks love dogs, and they're a great conversation starter. Imagine walking up to a fine lass with a mini horse in your company.

Speaking of hot chicks...

...Hey, baby.

Walking your mini pony is your only excuse for not reading these links:

Things that should rather be between Chris Cooley's legs. [Playing the Field]

Beasley and Chalmers and a potentially devastating picture. [The Big Lead]

More reaction to the Steelers win. [One For The Other Thumb]

Black and Golddust will take over. [Sportsocracy]

You got Ryder Cup fever, yet? [Awful Announcing]

Ruutu...A Senator but still cool. [The Steel City Sports Fan]

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Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

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As I said last week, the MPotD will come at you closer to mid-day.

The weather tried its best to even out the game, but only one team avoided the mistakes caused by the wind and rain. As you probably could've guessed, that team was the Steelers. And it was probably because Black and Golddust made it happen.

Listen, I don't want to hear "It's our time," or "the Steelers have won 9 in a row, so the we'll win this game" from Browns players or fans ever again. Last night's win makes it 10 in a row, and we're showing no signs of letting up on our "rival." How about field a competitive team, kill the turnovers and hold on to the ball. The weather affected both sides, but our game plan and play-calling provided us the opportunity to work the clock and gain yard when needed. Sure, there were a few too many punts for my liking, but you take what you can get when gale-force winds are flying through the stadium.

At the end of the game, we still sit at 2-0, and the Browns have the script entirely flipped. Where's that sexy pick of the Browns in the AFC North, football "experts?"

Ben. I'll admit that I was anxious to see how he'd perform in the elements, and as fans, we were allowed to expect a pick or two. Especially with the shoulder. Asshole Shaun Rogers tried his best to knock Big Ben out with the late hit directly to the suspect shoulder, but Ben hung in, and was able to rest his injury by just handing the ball off a million times. It wasn't a huge game by anyone's count, but I'll take 12 for 19 for 184 and a score most days of the week. 4 of 5 motorcycle helmets for Ben.

Willie Parker. Not really a standout game, but using the same logic as I did with Ben above, its nice to call a 100-yard game mostly meh. That 19-yard scamper late pushed him over the century mark, and he did enough to keep the Browns offense off the field. There were no real fireworks, but we'll blame it on the rain (Milli Vanilli-style) for this game. 3.5 out of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Michael Phelps. Corona cans? I don't know whether to mock your taste or compliment your ballsiness. A solid 3 of 5 helmets? Thanks for jinxing your boy Braylon.

Troy. The NFL is in for the second coming if Polamalu is 100% after the injuries he's had the past few seasons. He's been playing like a man possessed through two games, and I'm only hoping he can keep playing at this level without getting injured again. He saw that Anderson throw before Anderson threw it, and that pick was clearly the turning point in the game. Oh, and that flip over the O-line to disrupt the inside run was fantastic. Vintage Troy all night. 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets.

Santonio. Very quietly put up 94 yards and an 18.8 yard average. Without the weather, that might've been 150 and 20. His potential is crazy. 4 of 5 helmets.

Mewelde Moore/Mother Nature. I'll forgive the muffed punts all night. But only for one night. Its a forgivable 2 of 5 helmets.

And props to guys like Bryant McFadden (starting in place of Deshea and making a huge pick), Silverback (who was on meth again) and the rest of the D. I love how the announcers always fawn over Jamal Lewis when he plays the Steelers, and our D shuts him down every game. Makes me all warm inside.

Anyone you wanna praise or call out? Leave 'em in the comments.

Iggles next week. I shall forget my respect for the Steagles for this one week.

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show

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We promise to not make this any better. Episode 2 was taped on Thursday night, so we'll blame the lack of coherence on being tired, mmkay?.

The show is first, followed by, as always, the outtake reel.

Be sure to watch all this again at OFTOT. Enjoy?





Week 1 pregame show.

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Friday, September 12, 2008

Yeah

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Go Steelers! Black & Golddust says so.


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The Steelers Suck

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Sorry for the mad amount of Youtubes lately. Work has been hitting me hard with all-day meetings, and I don't want you to leave PSaMP empty-handed. This is the best I can do with the time I've got.

You do remember that this week is our first AFC North divisional game. And its against the Gowns (I was gonna use Brownies or Clowns, but Gowns is highly underused and fits perfectly with their girlish nature). So I scanned Youtube to find the latest smack talk, and the newest thing is a video entitled "Pittsburgh Steelers Suck" (above). I figure it'll give us fans a little more motivation, so we don't rest on our Texans-game laurels. Hell, I do my best to keep the team motivated...why not the same with the fans?

I coulda just linked to the random Browns thing(?) peeing on a Steelers fire hydrant, or the Steelers dog humping the Browns stuffed animal, but this is the latest piece of bulletin board material.

Funny how all the Steelers Suck/Browns Rule videos on Youtube cleverly forget that the Steelers have won 9 straight against Cleveland and 16 of the last 19. Man, we suck so hard.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-12-08

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I'm no fan of cats, but this one is pretty rad. It comes from a Myspace profile for someone named simply Mini Pony. Kickass! Little kitty obviously knows what is awesome. And mini pony looks like he's enjoying his cool company.

Rub your face of a mini pony after reading these links:

HHR has a message for the Browns from The Band. And creepy reference to the Texans as well. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Speaking of HHR, here's a look at Mewelde Moore's involvement in the Vikings sex boat escapades. Not as graphic as you might expect. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

The Steelers D should be named Hustle & Flow. Gross and NSFW picture. [Joey Porter's Pit Bulls]

The Browns are no longer a rival? [Sean's Ramblings]

Browns-Steelers, a love/hate relationship for the ages. [Bleacher Report]

I'd beat the shit outta this kid. And the kid videotaping. And anyone else involved. Sickening. [National Nine News]

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Magic is Only Cool When Beer and the Steelers are Involved

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I'm not gonna lie, magic freaks me out from time to time. Sure, card tricks blow my mind, and I'm almost sure that Criss Angel is Jesus, but magic is just...weird.

However, if you can somehow combine magic, beer and the Steelers, well...I just might tune in.

The fellow in this video is named Al Hastings, and he's obviously trying to convert me into a magic-lover. With merely a Terrible Towel and a camera mounted on the shelf or some shit, Al makes beer...uh...magically appear (sorry). This dude would be a hit in section 521 at Heinz.

I kinda need to learn this trick.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-11-08

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Um...is that a mini pony and a llama? If so, then all I gotta say is...SWEET!

The sombrero is a nice touch.

Head to the Cafeteria Zegada, then come read these links:

LaMarr Woodley needs a nickname. [One For The Other Thumb]

The picture of Knowshon Moreno hurdling a defender is almost sicker than the video. [Larry Brown Sports]

I can't make fun of Paralympians, but this wheelchair crash is pretty gnarly. [With Leather]

More Paralympic news. Hair Club for Men can get you banned. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Yeah, Anna Kournikova is still really hot. [On 205th]

10 Sexiest Movie Football Babes. [All Balls]

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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Rashard Mendenhall is a Champion

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Rashard Mendenhall recently signed a three-year deal with Champion Athletic Apparel, making him the first major pro athlete to sign with the brand in over a decade. How 'bout that?

This is a sweet deal for a late first round pick like Mendenhall. All the top picks are fawned over, but Champion struck a perfect deal with a lower-profile first round pick (as low profile as you can get from a skill player taken in the first round) that could be a stud in this league.

I actually have on a pair of Champion sweat pants as I type this (I wrote this last night after work), so there's more free pub for the brand. I don't see the execs pounding down my door to sign me to a deal, even though I'd settle to be paid in a few more pairs of these sweat pants. I got 'em for Christmas last year and they're comfortable as hell.

Yeah you've probably seen this news elsewhere, but I thought it was newsworthy enough to pass along. It's not an ad, and I still get paid nothing at PSaMP (by my own convictions). You won't see ads here, but if you got a press release that sorta ties in Pittsburgh and/or sports and aren't a jerk about it, I'm more than happy to get the word out.

Good for Champion AND Rashard.




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Some Steelers Fans Are Douchebags.

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To be fair, I've put down large groups of fans before, and I'd be a dick if I didn't point out stupid Steelers fans from time to time. Patriots fans, Blue Jays fans, Browns fans...they've all gotten the works here. But to be completely ignorant to a-hole Steelers fans would be just that...ignorant.

Dude, don't be a dick to street performers. I don't care if you're in Canada for the Steelers/Bills preseason game. I don't care that the Steelers lost. I don't care that they talk with that funny accent and say "ay" after everything. There's no excuse for being a punk.

But seriously, what's with that accent?

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-10-08

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Nice! This little horse is so damn inquisitive. Props to that bird for not backing down, though.

Meet a bird, or read these links:

If you're an NBAer, don't try to sell your house right now. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Sean Avery's experience as a fashion twerp will loosely inspire a movie. The Devil Wears CCM? [Puck Daddy]

Dude...Sid, Mario...I live right near there, why didn't you come visit? [The Sidney Crosby Show]

Shawne Merriman is done for the year. Which means he'll probably try to play. [KSK]

Greg Maddux is Ferris Bueller. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

No more MNF Twin Bill, please. [Epic Carnival]

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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

ESPN HATES THE STEELERS! OMG! WTF!?

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Dude, ESPN, at least use newer stock photography. You did fine with Romo, so why the old pic of Ben?

Sure, your power rankings have the Steelers at #2, but I need to keep up the Joey Porter mentality of motivation through disrespect. With Tom Brady out, every "expert" is slobbering over the Steelers. I'll take any little disrespect I can find to keep this team focused.

If you still don't know what I mean, look at the 75th season patch. That was worn last season. This is what Ben looked like on Sunday:



It's not too hard ESPN. I stole that image right off your website.

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The Pirates Are Good At Baseball

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Barring some ungodly circumstance, this might be the last I write about the Pirates until next season. Steelers season has begun and the Pens are gearing up for the coming year as well. But I need to comment on some recent happenings on the Pirates landscape and how we should effectively deal with the news.

A few days ago, the Buccos clinched their 16th consecutive losing season, tying them with the 10,000+ loss Philadelphia Phillies for the longest streak of back to back losing seasons in the history of professional sport. There's no NFL, NBA or NHL team that has reached that level of awfulness, and the MLB proudly(?) stands alone with two. One more year of this, and we take the top spot.

My buddy Pat had a solid look back at the streak. I was about the same age as Pat when the Braves/Bream/Cabrera/Pirates/Bonds play went down. I remember the good times, contending for the NL pennant, watching Bonds, Bonilla and Van Slyke, marvelling at Drabek. But it seems like all of my good memories about the team have been destroyed by this string of ineptitude. I chuckle now when people bring up the Pirates in conversation. It shouldn't be like that.

But it is. We're stuck with this awful team, hoping that each year will snap the skid. Raise the Jolly Roger stated that the streak-continuing loss provided for a sad day in Pittsburgh...but did it? I think we're looking at this the wrong way.

As a fan of the team desensitized by the 16 years of awful baseball, I think its time to re-think how we view the Pirates. The Buccos just accomplished something that has been untouched by everyone, save for the lowly Phillies. The team that once boasted Clemente, Stargell, Honus, Barry, multiple World Series trophies and the Maz walkoff now is known throughout the sports world as one of the worst franchises ever. So instead of crying over our misfortune...let's celebrate our new position in baseball lore.

Is anyone really going to be fiercely discussing the Ravens/Giants or Bucs/Raiders Super Bowls 30-40 years down the road? The Marlins beat the Indians to capture a World Series, and they weren't even a team when we last had a winning season. The Lightning won a Stanley Cup at some point.

My point is...so many teams best .500, go to the playoffs, win championships, produce Hall of Famers. Hell, we get spoiled by the Steelers and (hopefully) the Penguins. Only two teams have ever lost 16 consecutive times. And we're at the point where number 17 is not out of the question.

So why the sadness, Pirates fans? We've come to expect sub-.500 seasons, so why would the 16th version of the same story be any different from the previous 15? Flip the script, and take pride in your team being a conversation point for years to come. Shit, we've just done something astoundingly special and seemingly impossible. If this is all we have to look forward to, why not make the best of it?

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-9-08

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Today's MPotD comes from reader Benjamin. Ben wishes he "could be frolicking through a field like this little dude." Couldn't have said it any better myself.

If you aren't currently frolicking, you should be reading...these links:

Big ups to my good buddies at The Pensblog for making it to their 2nd anniversary alive. Nothing but love. [The Pensblog]

We all need golden helmets to emulate Janne Pesonen. [Pesonen and the Pens]

Interview with the hot chick from The Hockey Show. [Love The Game, Don't Like Puck Bunnies]

Yeah, Roger Federer is still good. [...the rest is still Unwritten]

Rest in peace, Evan Tanner. Wow. [Celebridiot]

Hoff in Arizona. That's not creepy. [With Leather]

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Monday, September 8, 2008

Browns Fans at Steelers Games Featuring the Texans = Stupid

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I'll admit, I've worn a Steelers jersey while watching a Penguins game, but that's the cutoff point for random jerseys at or during sporting events. And I wasn't even at the arena...this was just me, at home, not being able to find a Penguins jersey in time. I'm pretty against wearing other teams' gear at the games, even if they're from the same city. You're at a Penguins game, so take off the Pirates jersey.

When I went to Shea three weeks ago or so, I wore a Mets hat. Yes, I own one (I live in Queens), so don't disown me, Pittsburgh fans.

This video is just stupid. You're at the Steelers season opener, a game featuring Houston and Pittsburgh...IN PITTSBURGH...and you've decided to wear a Browns jersey. That's freaking suicide if the Browns were in town, let alone with no other idiotic Clevelanders in the general vicinity. The Brownies game is NEXT week, asshole. I hope this dude was heckled nonstop throughout the entire game.

In related news, while at the Steelers bar in Hoboken yesterday, a few of us Steelers fans pointed out a girl walking in a Ravens t-shirt and booed her intensely until she left our immediate sightline. Serves her right.

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Mini Pony of the Day 9-8-08

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The MMCNY will (usually) be up the morning following the games, so the MPotD will be coming at you closer to mid-day during the season (but only the day after Steelers games). Get used to it. I have post planned for later today as well.

Thanks to Doug-stradamous, here's a picture of free admission to "Land of Little Horses" in Gettysburg. Clipper Magazine rules! Now, onto the links:

Cotter's recap. [One For The Other Thumb]

Are the Steelers the team to beat in the AFC? However, it shouldn't be like that just because Brady's out. [The Big Lead]

Chad Ocho Cinco. Almost. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Bob Smizik keeps on giving. [Hockey, Football and Stiletto Shoes]

PSaMP fully endorses Sean Leahy's bid to become a writer at The Hockey News. [Going Five Hole]

Rosario Dawson plays football? Hot. [Awful Announcing]

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Sunday, September 7, 2008

Monday Morning Chrysler New Yorker

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Hey guys...guess what? MMCNY is back! Its been awhile. You all are looking great. We should get together and do lunch.

Prior to the game (and season!) starting, I said to Cotter that we couldn't afford to start slow. One Roethlisberger pick, one slacking defense and the season already would have been in trouble. I wanted to see an efficient offense, a steady O-line and smothering defense early and often. On the whole (tee hee), I was thoroughly impressed.

No one made the mistake, other than Matt Schaub and his fellow Texans.

I'm wicked hoarse, mostly from the sick atmosphere at Texas Arizona, so I'll be coming at you with my quiet-time voice. I predicted a 35-14 win, but Doug went ahead and hit the nail on the head with the appropriate 38-17 prediction less than an hour before the game started! Can I get some lottery numbers, man?

So, I'm glad MMCNY is back (here's the ratings breakdown, if you're new to the concept). It'll shift the MPotD til later in the day following Steelers games, but you'll adjust. Let's dive in:

Ben. Yes. That is how you open the season. In only 3/4 of the game, Roethlisberger put up pre-'07-type numbers. 13-14 for 137 yards, a touchdown and a passer rating of 147! He didn't force the ball anywhere, really, and was methodical with completion after completion. The Texans didn't want to get beat deep, so Ben took what was given...which is a good sign this early in the season. I felt pretty comfortable with all of Ben's passes, and he didn't let me down at all. A perfect 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets for the Large one.

Byron. Didn't do anything to ease my mind about the lack of Chuck Batch on the sidelines, but he also didn't make any massive mistakes. He handed off a bunch, which is easy to do with a huge lead, but went 0-4 when asked to chuck the rock. And he was chucking it. 2 of 5 motorcycle helmets, but to be fair, he wasn't expected to really do anything.

Willie. Yes. That is how you...pad my fantasy stats. Bill validated my first-round selection of the once-allergic-to-touchdowns-Parker. He continued his recent streak of huge opening-day games, topping 100 yards for the fourth straight season debut. At some point in our preview show or outtakes, we pleaded to Bill for a score. Trading a few fumbles a year for several more touchdowns will vault Willie from a decent, 1,200-yard back to a possible All-Pro. He's really that good. One helmet for each touchdown, one for going over 100 yards and another for not fumbling, and Fast Bill collects 5 of 5 motorcycle helmets in the opener.

D. They're going to get another perfect...so, um...spoiler alert? Silverback proved last year was no fluke as he played like he was on meth again. 3 sacks!? Yikes. The man is a force, and coupled with LaMarr Woodley, provides a formidable challenge to opposing offenses. Wood got in on the sack fest, Farrior pitched in, Nick Eason played a surprisingly good game, and Troy was flying around like pre-injuries Troy. 5 of 5 helmets.

Hines. Looked young all game. Even with the move to a younger WR corps, Hines showed why he still Hines Ward and should be respected as such. Those two touchdowns were critical, and really buried the Texans earlier than they probably expected. 4 of 5 helmets for the 76 yards.

San Antonio. Not really a great game, but someone is going to suffer when everyone else is killing it. I woulda liked a few more catches, but I guess he did as much as he could with what he was given. Only two catches, but a 9.5 yard average, and he converted a big third down. 3 of 5 helmets, and I expect a bigger game in the near future.

Fresh meat next week in the Cleveland Browns. Don't call me, I'll call you.

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